Culturally Preconditioned

SURVIVOR

There have been no updates for the past two weeks because the Survivor episodes were very disappointing, that it made me lose my posting mojo. In case you missed the last two episodes, don’t worry.. they sucked.

Ulong lost their 4th consecutive immunity challenges in a row, which by now probably outranks Maraamu and Morgan as the worst tribe ever. Jeff (the player) basically gave up in Episode 3 after he ‘injured’ his ankle. In the next episode, the voiceover practically praised him by saying that (paraphrasing) “the tribes voted him out of the tribe, out of honour”. I mean, what the fuck? He quit the game. Osten fucking quit the game and he got a shitty treatment. But fucking Jeff got a glowing review? I mean, double standard much? Thousands of people audition to be on the show, and he practically gave up now that he got his 15 minutes of fame. It didn’t bode well for me thatrumours were some of the castaways were ‘recruited’ by agents (ie. they didn’t apply to be on the show) and taht certainly didn’t bode well for me. Well, as a consolation, his Queen Bee… useless Kim (all the Kims on Survivor has thus far been utterly useless and a waste of airtime) was voted out of the tribe. Thank God. Other thoughts on Ulong… I still like Stephenie. If she was on Koror, I’d be rooting for her all the way. Iberehem is still just meh. James is annoying as fuck. Angie is starting to grate on my nerves. And surprisingly, I’m starting to like Bobby John more and more. I do think, however, that Ulong is toast. The winner will NOT come from this group.

Koror won their fourth immunity in a row. Which surprised me, because the last two immunities were rigged for Ulong (strength all the way) but the underdogs pulled it through. Way to go Koror. Since much of the drama has been focusing on Ulong, not much is known in Koror. I still think Katie = Jenna Lewis. I don’t see how ANYONE could NOT like Tom and Ian. Jennifer got her first confessional in the 4th episode. Coby is starting to scheme way too early in the game. He didn’t seem to do anything useful for the tribe, but his surprise performance versus James helped his team to win the immunity, so that’s good. In other words, Koror still has a long way to go in this game, and their storylines have yet to begin.

AMERICAN IDOL

Dismal dismal dismal.
Jessica - 6 Very echoey
Anwar - 7.5 Good voice butseriously, I was bored to tears.
Mikalah - 4.5 Only good thing I can say about her was her rendition of Son of a Preacher Man was better than the Hawaiian girl last year (and that’s not saying much).
Constantine - 3 Go the fuck back to your band, smarmy lech. I hate him with a passion. Charisma? What fucking charisma?
Lindsey - 2.5 Congratulations, Lindsey. You just won worst vocal of the evening.
Anthony - 6 Decent voice but meh.
Nadia - 9 I’m biased. Bite me.
Bo - 7.5 It was aiight, but the rock ‘tude is getting a bit stale
Vonzell - 7 Nice voice. Performance was too rigid.
Scott - 7 Phat Phuck’s got a decent voice. But he’s no Ruben.
Carrie - 5.5 Must she country-ize every damn song she sings?
Nikko - 7.5 At least he hit the notes.

My bottom 3 picks : Lindsey, Mikalah, Constantine. Should be going home : Lindsey

America’s Bottom 3 picks : Scott, Lindsey, Nikko. Will be going home : Lindsey

*yawn*

AMAZING RACE

Haven’t watched the show yet, but after reading the Play-By-Play, episode synopsis at the official site and chats with those who have already seen it, I have decided to skip tonight’s episode. In fact, I have decided to skip the rest of the Amazing Race until the scheming asshats have been eliminated.

“When the games becomes a game of scheming it has become something other than The Amazing Race.”

Someone call me when they’ve gone back to becoming the Amazing Race again.

LOST

Tomorrow night. 9 pm. AXN. Watch it. You won’t wanna miss it. I’m on Episode 18 of the show and I’m still kept on the edge of my seat. They’re not exagerrating when they say that this was the best new drama on TV last year.

Wow.. My Survivor crowning glory. After 10 long seasons, I finally made a legit Survivor spoiler. For two whole days, it was official. Izad > Snewser (the Godfather of Survivor Spoilers). I stumbled across a Survivor buff auctioned by Ashlee Ashby on eBay starting at $600. What the hell? Starting price at $600? But more importantly, why so soon? Why not wait till the show was over? Something smelled fishy… and I tipped off, what might have been an Ashlee boot spoiler, to True Dork Times. Ashlee had been under the radar in the first episode, so her boot didn’t make any sense (almost all the spoiler boards predicted Jeff or Angie to go). But it’s not like Ashlee was our first Under The Radar player who got booted in the second episode (ie. Kel from Outback, Jesse from Africa, Tanya from Thailand). And on Thursday evening, Snewser finally posted his boot - Ashlee - followed by the same link to the eBay page that I tipped off to True Dork Times. For a few moments, I was indeed, the man, and I am not ashamed to gloat. How often can you outspoil Snewser, eh?

Gloating aside, this was a pretty good episode. And for those who know me, the anticipation of the second episode is as great as the premier itself, because we were given a NEW opening credits video. And based on the two different opening videos, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Jennifer will be the winner this season. (but that is only based on the opening credits, and I reserve the right to change my statements as the show progresses. LOL)

Ulong continues sucking at the challenges and will soon replace Maraamu and Morgan as the worst tribe ever. Koror continues to impress me by being able to retrieve their lost flint from the ocean bed. I spoiled the Ashlee boot. So all in all, a very good episode indeed.

2nd Episode Castaway Impressions

KOROR

Koror - (L-R) - Willard, Caryn, Jennifer, Janu, Coby, Tom, Katie, Gregg, Ian

Ian : Ian continues to impress me with his abilities underwater. Retrieving that heavy box from the ocean bed was no easy task.. almost impossible. But with his help, the Koror’s miraculously managed to salvage their flint. Ian - Koror’s saviour? I sure as hell think so. I am an Ian fan.

Katie : She sucks major ass in the reward challenge. Her failure to swing across the platforms after several tries (actually quite reminiscent of Chris’ failing to balance himself on the beam in Vanuatu) made me wonder if the castaways didn’t go through any trainings at all prior to the game. I’m still undecided on how I feel about Katie, but I think it may due to the fact that she looks a hell lot like that whore Jenna Lewis, who unashamedly tricked her husband into recording a sex tape and selling it on the internet. See how hard it is for me to like Katie? I blame Jenna Lewis, that patronising biatch. One thing I DO like about Katie is her comments about people needing to shut up, stop complaining and learn how to adapt. That makes a good survivor, in my honest opinion, and if she keeps up that attitude, Katie will definitely go a long long long way indeed (more than I like her to).

Tom : There are no reasons for anyone not to like Tom. Well, I can think of only one.. his Bawstin accent may remind a lot of viewers of Boston Rob. LOL but seriously though, he’s good in challenges, friendly with everyone on Koror, and for a guy his age, not bad look at all! Sure he fucked up by making the rash decision of moving to a new beach (he was caught up in the moment, and I agree that was a foolish thing to do), but at least he admitted that he was wrong. Please let this guy be at least in the Final Four.

Janu : There wasn’t much out of Janu this episode, but from what little we’ve seen from her this week, I think she may be a little bit of a drama queen. Hopefully that’ll be the last we see of it, cause I like Janu.

Gregg : Nothing much out of Gregg this week. Either he’s in it for the long haul, or he’ll be swiftly cut loose in the next Tribal Council. But he’s playing it smart. He IS the alpha male on Koror, but he shows absolutely NO intentions of taking up the leadership role, which is good.

Jen : I will maintain my stand that Jennifer will win this game, despite the fact she has received ZERO confessionals in the first two episodes. PLEASE don’t let her be a non-factor in this game. I will look out for subtle references to her gameplay in the next few episodes.

Coby : Coby still rubs me the wrong way. I didn’t like the fact that he stayed on the beach while the boys are all out in the sea looking for their sunken ‘treasure’. He hasn’t been that useful much around camp either. However, I really laughed my ass off during the entire COBY-TRYING-TO-FIND-HIS-CENTER Zen thingy when he tried to cross the slippery barrels during the reward challenge. Hilarious.

Caryn : The naggings has begun. If Caryn’s not careful, her fate will end up the same as Trish. Her lecture to Tom (about choosing the new beach) came across as a tad whiny (and Katie was right in her comments about Caryn needing to SHUT UP). Next week, the claws come out as we see Katie and Caryn let it out. I’m kinda disappointed in Caryn.

Willard : If I was certain that LeAnn was the non-factor from Vanuatu, then I am certain that Willard will be this season’s non-factor contestant. He was very weak in the swimming challenge, and he was only chose over Jonathan last week, to be in the game, was to act as a shield to Caryn (by being the OLDEST contestant in the tribe). If Caryn keeps her cool, I don’t see how Willard will NOT be the first person to be voted out of Koror. Sorry old man.

ULONG

Ulong - (L-R) - Angie, Kim, Jeff, Ibrehem, Stephenie, James, Bobby Jon, Ashlee, Jolanda

Bobby Jon : Dude is surprisingly presented quite well in this episode. I didn’t expect to like watching him on tv, but compared to the rest of the Ulongs, he’s quite entertaining. Didn’t come off as abrasive or arrogant as I thought. Honestly, I laughed out loud when he raged “Get that thing off me!!!” during the reward challenge. (as well as Probst comments : “And BJ hits himself in the chest as a reward”. LOL Funny moments indeed. If he keeps this up, I really don’t mind seeing him as the last Ulong standing, just for his entertainment value.

Stephenie : Steph did emerge as the new ’silent’ leader of Ulong. I still like her, unfortunately, number was not on her side, as we watched her begrudgingly vote against someone she’s in favour of. Methinks she’s plotting against Kim just out of jealousy. I don’t blame her though. I hope things will go well for her. She’s strong, smart, determined and pretty hot. What’s not to like?

Jeff : Major dickhead. I do not like Jeff at all. He’s an arrogant and smug bastard. And from the looks of next episode’s preview, looks like he’s somewhat injured. I hope that spells the end of his stay on the island (and on my tv).

Kim : Kim reminds me of Victoria Beckham. Foolishly arrogant, a bit of a drama queen, an oblivious demanding bitch and thinks she’s hotter than she really is. In other words, the perfect match for Jeff. Now get off my fucking tv.

James : Stupid dumbass redneck. I’m still not buying his schtick. He better watch out because in case he didn’t notice, he’s the oldest git on the tribe full of models and actors. But he’s got the same annoying factor though, so he could be alright.

Ashlee : I will forever remember Ashlee for the fact that I spoiled her (not Snewser, not Sucks, not Realiiity, not ChillOne, ChillTwo or ChillThree). Other than that, she’s a forgettable contestant on the show except for the fact that she’s a Mormon girl with huge jugs that is now forever immortalised in the new opening credits. And Ashlee? You started the bid at $600 (with a reserved price, nonetheless)? Seriously girl, can I have some of whatever the hell you’re smoking? Thanks in advance.

Ibrehem : WHO? We only saw him in his voting confessional. It was sweet of him not to vote for Ashlee (because she picked him to be in the tribe on Day 2) despite knowing that Ashlee was gonna be voted out (Ashlee had made it known to the rest of the tribe that she wants out). The only credit I’m gonna give to Ibe right now is the fact that he voted for Kim.. and sending a signal to Kim (and Jeff) that they’re not really all that.

Angie : Girl kicked some serious ass in the reward challenge. Angie really redeemed herself by her spectacular performance. This underdog kinda reminds me of Shii’s performance in All Stars. I was kinda hoping that Angie would’ve given Coby the finger and shouting “Take that!” since he ditched her on Day 2.

BOOT SPECS :

If Ulong loses again (which they will), then Jeff is going home (which he will). On the other hand, If Koror loses (unlikely), then Willard is toast (which he eventually will be).