Culturally Preconditioned

Wow.. My Survivor crowning glory. After 10 long seasons, I finally made a legit Survivor spoiler. For two whole days, it was official. Izad > Snewser (the Godfather of Survivor Spoilers). I stumbled across a Survivor buff auctioned by Ashlee Ashby on eBay starting at $600. What the hell? Starting price at $600? But more importantly, why so soon? Why not wait till the show was over? Something smelled fishy… and I tipped off, what might have been an Ashlee boot spoiler, to True Dork Times. Ashlee had been under the radar in the first episode, so her boot didn’t make any sense (almost all the spoiler boards predicted Jeff or Angie to go). But it’s not like Ashlee was our first Under The Radar player who got booted in the second episode (ie. Kel from Outback, Jesse from Africa, Tanya from Thailand). And on Thursday evening, Snewser finally posted his boot - Ashlee - followed by the same link to the eBay page that I tipped off to True Dork Times. For a few moments, I was indeed, the man, and I am not ashamed to gloat. How often can you outspoil Snewser, eh?

Gloating aside, this was a pretty good episode. And for those who know me, the anticipation of the second episode is as great as the premier itself, because we were given a NEW opening credits video. And based on the two different opening videos, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Jennifer will be the winner this season. (but that is only based on the opening credits, and I reserve the right to change my statements as the show progresses. LOL)

Ulong continues sucking at the challenges and will soon replace Maraamu and Morgan as the worst tribe ever. Koror continues to impress me by being able to retrieve their lost flint from the ocean bed. I spoiled the Ashlee boot. So all in all, a very good episode indeed.

2nd Episode Castaway Impressions

KOROR

Koror - (L-R) - Willard, Caryn, Jennifer, Janu, Coby, Tom, Katie, Gregg, Ian

Ian : Ian continues to impress me with his abilities underwater. Retrieving that heavy box from the ocean bed was no easy task.. almost impossible. But with his help, the Koror’s miraculously managed to salvage their flint. Ian - Koror’s saviour? I sure as hell think so. I am an Ian fan.

Katie : She sucks major ass in the reward challenge. Her failure to swing across the platforms after several tries (actually quite reminiscent of Chris’ failing to balance himself on the beam in Vanuatu) made me wonder if the castaways didn’t go through any trainings at all prior to the game. I’m still undecided on how I feel about Katie, but I think it may due to the fact that she looks a hell lot like that whore Jenna Lewis, who unashamedly tricked her husband into recording a sex tape and selling it on the internet. See how hard it is for me to like Katie? I blame Jenna Lewis, that patronising biatch. One thing I DO like about Katie is her comments about people needing to shut up, stop complaining and learn how to adapt. That makes a good survivor, in my honest opinion, and if she keeps up that attitude, Katie will definitely go a long long long way indeed (more than I like her to).

Tom : There are no reasons for anyone not to like Tom. Well, I can think of only one.. his Bawstin accent may remind a lot of viewers of Boston Rob. LOL but seriously though, he’s good in challenges, friendly with everyone on Koror, and for a guy his age, not bad look at all! Sure he fucked up by making the rash decision of moving to a new beach (he was caught up in the moment, and I agree that was a foolish thing to do), but at least he admitted that he was wrong. Please let this guy be at least in the Final Four.

Janu : There wasn’t much out of Janu this episode, but from what little we’ve seen from her this week, I think she may be a little bit of a drama queen. Hopefully that’ll be the last we see of it, cause I like Janu.

Gregg : Nothing much out of Gregg this week. Either he’s in it for the long haul, or he’ll be swiftly cut loose in the next Tribal Council. But he’s playing it smart. He IS the alpha male on Koror, but he shows absolutely NO intentions of taking up the leadership role, which is good.

Jen : I will maintain my stand that Jennifer will win this game, despite the fact she has received ZERO confessionals in the first two episodes. PLEASE don’t let her be a non-factor in this game. I will look out for subtle references to her gameplay in the next few episodes.

Coby : Coby still rubs me the wrong way. I didn’t like the fact that he stayed on the beach while the boys are all out in the sea looking for their sunken ‘treasure’. He hasn’t been that useful much around camp either. However, I really laughed my ass off during the entire COBY-TRYING-TO-FIND-HIS-CENTER Zen thingy when he tried to cross the slippery barrels during the reward challenge. Hilarious.

Caryn : The naggings has begun. If Caryn’s not careful, her fate will end up the same as Trish. Her lecture to Tom (about choosing the new beach) came across as a tad whiny (and Katie was right in her comments about Caryn needing to SHUT UP). Next week, the claws come out as we see Katie and Caryn let it out. I’m kinda disappointed in Caryn.

Willard : If I was certain that LeAnn was the non-factor from Vanuatu, then I am certain that Willard will be this season’s non-factor contestant. He was very weak in the swimming challenge, and he was only chose over Jonathan last week, to be in the game, was to act as a shield to Caryn (by being the OLDEST contestant in the tribe). If Caryn keeps her cool, I don’t see how Willard will NOT be the first person to be voted out of Koror. Sorry old man.

ULONG

Ulong - (L-R) - Angie, Kim, Jeff, Ibrehem, Stephenie, James, Bobby Jon, Ashlee, Jolanda

Bobby Jon : Dude is surprisingly presented quite well in this episode. I didn’t expect to like watching him on tv, but compared to the rest of the Ulongs, he’s quite entertaining. Didn’t come off as abrasive or arrogant as I thought. Honestly, I laughed out loud when he raged “Get that thing off me!!!” during the reward challenge. (as well as Probst comments : “And BJ hits himself in the chest as a reward”. LOL Funny moments indeed. If he keeps this up, I really don’t mind seeing him as the last Ulong standing, just for his entertainment value.

Stephenie : Steph did emerge as the new ’silent’ leader of Ulong. I still like her, unfortunately, number was not on her side, as we watched her begrudgingly vote against someone she’s in favour of. Methinks she’s plotting against Kim just out of jealousy. I don’t blame her though. I hope things will go well for her. She’s strong, smart, determined and pretty hot. What’s not to like?

Jeff : Major dickhead. I do not like Jeff at all. He’s an arrogant and smug bastard. And from the looks of next episode’s preview, looks like he’s somewhat injured. I hope that spells the end of his stay on the island (and on my tv).

Kim : Kim reminds me of Victoria Beckham. Foolishly arrogant, a bit of a drama queen, an oblivious demanding bitch and thinks she’s hotter than she really is. In other words, the perfect match for Jeff. Now get off my fucking tv.

James : Stupid dumbass redneck. I’m still not buying his schtick. He better watch out because in case he didn’t notice, he’s the oldest git on the tribe full of models and actors. But he’s got the same annoying factor though, so he could be alright.

Ashlee : I will forever remember Ashlee for the fact that I spoiled her (not Snewser, not Sucks, not Realiiity, not ChillOne, ChillTwo or ChillThree). Other than that, she’s a forgettable contestant on the show except for the fact that she’s a Mormon girl with huge jugs that is now forever immortalised in the new opening credits. And Ashlee? You started the bid at $600 (with a reserved price, nonetheless)? Seriously girl, can I have some of whatever the hell you’re smoking? Thanks in advance.

Ibrehem : WHO? We only saw him in his voting confessional. It was sweet of him not to vote for Ashlee (because she picked him to be in the tribe on Day 2) despite knowing that Ashlee was gonna be voted out (Ashlee had made it known to the rest of the tribe that she wants out). The only credit I’m gonna give to Ibe right now is the fact that he voted for Kim.. and sending a signal to Kim (and Jeff) that they’re not really all that.

Angie : Girl kicked some serious ass in the reward challenge. Angie really redeemed herself by her spectacular performance. This underdog kinda reminds me of Shii’s performance in All Stars. I was kinda hoping that Angie would’ve given Coby the finger and shouting “Take that!” since he ditched her on Day 2.

BOOT SPECS :

If Ulong loses again (which they will), then Jeff is going home (which he will). On the other hand, If Koror loses (unlikely), then Willard is toast (which he eventually will be).