Culturally Preconditioned

American Idol : Hits from 2000-2005

Carrie - I liked how the short video clip reminded me that Carrie was a little country cowgirl. It was predictable of her to pick a country song despite the vast choice of songs that she had. Her choice of song didn’t appeal to me cause I don’t really know it, but she did sound rather flat throughout the song. Not that it matters though since she has a lot of fans, but will that be enough to make her the next American Idol. I’m guessing No. She will be in this week’s bottom three and she might actually be our surprise boot this week. Performance : 5

Bo - I heart Bo but That was not his best performance. It was good but not excellent (speaking in terms of Bo-standard performances here). It was a great song choice in my opinion. Bo has nothing to worry this week. But I really want to see him really WOW the audience again. Performance : 7

Vonzell - My initial impression of Vonzell at the beginning of this season was she’s gonna be this sassy diva with an “In Your Face” attitude who I was gonna adore. Well, she turns out to be this sweet little singer, but I still adore her. That said, her performance tonight reminds me of Nikki’s performance of The Voice Within from the first Malaysian Idol. Most of the general viewing audience thought it was her best performance ever. But I honestly thought it was a trainwreck. Vonzell’s performance was the same for me. Sorry Baby V. Performance : 4

Anthony - Please. I’m not buying his parent’s sob story and I never really cared for this guy. But to be fair, if there’s a performance to pull him out of the bottom three, that was it. I hate agreeing with Paula but I think that was one of his better performances yet. Still, we don’t need Clay version II now, do we? Performance : 7.5

Constantine - So why does to me, Bo comes off as an honest, true-to-the-bone type of rocker, and Constantine comes off as a smarmy sell-out? I thought Constantine was doing well by ‘improving’ his performance week after week, but I have had enough of his crap and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is not that good, but if America’s not careful, he will be crowned as their next Idol. Performance : 2.

Scott - Oh give me a fucking break. Yet another sob story? Bitch please, I’m not one who buys into pity parties. Oh poor me, I’ve had a terrible childhood, I want to give my son the best bla fucking blah. This is Rupert fucking Boneham all over again. Stop lobbying for votes using these pathetic sob stories. And fuck all you voters for buying his sad story and throwing pity votes down his way (and that goes also especially to all you fuckers for granting Poopert his so much undeserving million dollars too). Go the fuck home, Fat Fuck. You have overextended your stay. Performance : I’m not gonna even acknowledge that.

I know my comments may not go down well with some folks and especially DJs-who-ironically-think-it’s-impossible-for-a-singer-to-appeal-to-some-listeners-and-not-to-others, to them, I’ll let my personal hero, Whatevia Santiago, do the talking :

“Whut-Evv-Err!”

Amazing Race - And isn’t it Ironic, don’t you think?

I was all about ready to declare that even though Rob and Amber are despicable contestants, I would have to say that they are great racers.. Until tonight’s episode that is. Don’t get me wrong, I liked how Rob played his game in Survivor All Stars (in fact, when interviewed by ntv7, I distinctively remember saying that I was rooting for him to win - despite already knowing Amber won the game) cause I thought that was his approach to the cutthroat game, but his true colours really showed on the Amazing Race. His arrogance and rudeness knows no boundary, and as much as I don’t have much respect for that, I definitely have much more less respect for Amber who just latches on to someone with that ugly behaviour.

That said, tonight’s episode was oh so sweet mainly because Romber was owned by the old couple. The show tonight highlighted Rob’s disgusting comments about the other team being stupid, the blind leading the blind, desperate, and him trying to instill ‘fear’ in his opponent, just simply backfired. That has probably got to be the highlight this season so far.

I have a lot of respect for the old couple. I would’ve lost a lot of money if someone asked me to bet on them lasting this far into the game. Uchenna and Joyce deserved their first place win. I am still in awe for Joyce’s determination of shaving her head bald from the last leg (Take that, KKKendra!). I still don’t care much for Ron and Kelly. They still suck in my books. Between their bickering and the whole POW claim to fame, it’s getting old. And in actual fact, if you think about it, Amber is Rob what Ron and Kelly are to Romber. Between the 4 teams left, I would be most unhappy if Ron and Kelly wins the race.

As for the location, I am so glad they went to Turkey! It sure brings back memories (especially where they showed a shot of Burger King - I actually had my first ever Whopper at a Burger King in Istanbul in 1997). I love Istanbul.. what can I say. Part Asia, Part Europe. I just love the city. I had some ideas of some interesting roadblocks, and was kinda disappointed that they didn’t really capitalize on some of the city’s most famous landmarks (the Blue Mosque, Topkapi Palace, the Spice Market, the Bosphorus, the Turkish Hammams) but it was still one of the more interesting episodes yet this season.

Before I start with my ramblings on the Survivor show, I just want to make some notes on American Idol. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE RABID ANWAR FANS? Well actually I want to comment on one particular individual for calling me a ‘haprak’ at another blog (not gonna stir any shit up over there) for saying that (i) Anwar doesn’t have star quality (ii) Some folks find his voice appealing and some don’t. Dude, chill the fuck out already. Everything is subjective. Different viewers have different views on what constitutes a good singer. But to say that my ‘theories’ were crap? Heh.. that was Real Mature. How old are you again? Eight? And to think I once used to like your style. I’m just saying there are more friendly ways of disagreeing with someone, you know? Oh well.. shit happens. But thanks anyway, cause I think your comments just fueled me to write weekly AI commentaries on my own from now on.

So okay.. Survivor.. a long long hiatus from my last update. So.. a short recap (trying to write all this from memory, so wish me luck)

Episode 3 : Jeff and Kim hooks up on Ulong. Jeff hurt his ankle while on his way to taking a dump at night. He basically gave up during the immunity challenge which caused Ulong to lose. Ulong goes to Tribal Council for the 3rd time in a row. Jeff is voted out of the tribe (He basically asked his team to vote him out ie. he quit)

Episode 4 : Can’t remember much. Kim is all alone now that her beau is gone and she was pretty useless in the challenges. Ulong loses again. Kim basically hinted that she’s given up so she gets voted out of the tribe (ie. she quit)

Episode 5 : Only a reward challenge this episode, because at the end of the day, BOTH tribes must vote one of their tribe members out. Koror won the reward challenge but still had to vote someone out. They vote out Willard (’for coasting and not doing any real work’) and had their reward, which turned out to be : Hot Beef Stew and Bread which they must eat during Ulong’s Tribal Council, where they get to overhear Ulong’s Tribal Council. Another hidden reward was after hearing Ulong’s TC, Koror members get to grant immunity to one of the Ulongs. Immunity was granted to Ibrehem. The initial Ulong vote ended up in a tie between James and Angie. Steph, who originally voted for James, switched her vote to Angie who was then voted out.

Episode 6 : Can’t remember much, but Ulong lost yet again. The homophobic, racist redneck James was voted out. The only thing that I remembered from this episode was his God comments ([paraphrasing]Allah let Ibe stayed the last time. This time, my God says it’s time for him to go[/paraphrasing]). I thought that he would be this season’s greatest villain. But I was so so wrong as you will soon see.

Episode 7 : You think it couldn’t get worse? Ulong loses their 6th immunity challenge in a row. We get to see Ibe perform his prayers (thank you, Mark Burnett, for at least trying to portray a good side for Muslims). Wait a sec, was that this episode, or the last one? Doesn’t matter. Bobby Jon and Steph voted out Ibrehem.

Episode 8 : Ulong is down to 2 members and Koror is still intact with 8. Merge time? *bleep* Wrong answer. They still compete as two tribes… aaaaand in our first gross food challenge since the Pearl Islands, Ulong lost yet again. Ulong officially became the first Survivor tribe to ever decimate their own tribe. So how does Tribal Council works with only two people? Their votes cancel each other out. Answer : immunity challenge. It’s a fire building challenge during Tribal Council. Bobby Jon has always been the one to start fire in camp, but the mother of irony was that Steph was the one who started her fire first at the challenge. Bye bye Bobby Jon. Pre-show I thought you would be a major prick, but you turned out to be the most likeable guy from Ulong.

Episode 9 : Steph was shown, in a Survivor FIRST, to spend the night alone at camp (since all of her remaining tribe members is already out of the game). She soon cries happy tears after getting a TreeMail that said she would be joining the Korors (read: no merge). She leaves Ulong and joins Koror who welcomes her in open arms. We soon hear that several people (Tom, Ian, Katie) have made a ’sub-alliance’ with Steph on Day 1, before they divided into 2 tribes. At the individual immunity challenge, Tom wins immunity. Coby was voted out by his own Koror team mates as they had perceieved him to be a threat (too sly and canny), which was a shame. Like Bobby Jon, I hated Coby in pre-show. But in hindsight, flamingly pink as he is, I think he’s the most likeable guy from Koror. At least he will be in the jury seat. Yay! Can’t wait for his tribal council speech.

Episode 10 : So now, here we are. Everyone on Koror (except for Janu) voted for Coby, which stunned Janu (who voted for Steph). I don’t blame her for feeling left out, I mean, when you’re the only one who voted along the original plan, wouldn’t you feel left out? Janu’s been physically sick since Day 3, and she at least hung on till then. She surprisingly kicked ass in the Reward Challenge, but unfortunately faltered during the immunity challenge. As an added twist this season, the first person to fail the immunity challenge was gonna be exiled all on his/her own on a separate island for a night. This is where it gets good.

Once Janu dropped out of the challenge, some of the Koror members actually laughed out loud and made jokes about it. One of your tribe member was gonna be exiled for the night, and you crack jokes and laughed out loud saying that you’re glad it’s her and not you? When Jeff Probst mentioned “I see there’s no love lost between Janu and you guys”, they instantly said “Oh no Jeff”,”That’s not true”,”bla bla”.. you know, all the fakey fake niceness. Jeff said (paraphrasing) “Well your tribemate will be without help on a strange island all by herself, and you’re just laughing there with an open-mike.. what am I supposed to think?”. They instantly SHUT UP. That was hilarious and I loved Jeff Probst for that. It was like a group of children being scolded at kindergarten. And seriously, the laughing incident is, in my books, the absolute meanest thing I have ever seen on Survivor. EVER. And that is reason enough for me not to root for anyone else left in the game.

So, Tom wins immunity (again). Janu gets exiled to a different island. She managed to make fire on her own (YAY!) and danced the night away and felt ‘refreshed’. The moon, the stars, the fire. All hers. It was a beautiful scene. When she got back to the island, the other tribe members were rather ‘disappointed’ to hear that Janu felt great being on the island on her own, as though they were expected her to come back all miserable and shit.

At Tribal Council, I think there were plans to vote out Steph, but Janu pulled the rug under their feet. Janu laid down her own torch, making her the 2nd Survivor to officially quit at Tribal Council (and implicitly, the 4th this season - after Ashlee, Jeff and Kim). I don’t usually care much for quitters but I heart Janu. She had reasons to quit.

(1) She has come full circle after her experience on Exile Island
(2) She knew she was on the outside looking in based on the previous tribal council when they voted out Coby without informing her
(3) She knew her only purpose left in the game was as a pawn to the bigger power players
(4) She was physically sick since Day 3
(5) Her quitting was a huge “FUCK YOU” to the rest of Korors. Her quitting threw a monkey wrench in Koror’s game plan which could (or could not) have an effect on the end gameplan.

I’m glad Janu quit. At least we know she’s satisfied with her performance and not be a sourpuss like Osten.

As for villain of the season.. I kinda knew in the beginning it was gonna be her and I’m right. Katie Gallagher. She not only reminds me of Jenna Lewis because of her looks, she also talks like Jenna Lewis, but worse. On record, she has already pissed off Caryn, Coby and Janu (2 of which are already in the jury). She makes snarky and hurtful high school remarks and thinks she is the hottest commedian since Cesternino (I know, not a compliment at all). And how the hell can anyone get on Survivor and GAIN weight? It sounds impossible, but Katie’s done it, that fat cow. She is useless at challenges, and useless around camp, and pisses off fellow tribemates.

Ladies and gentlemen, those are reasons enough for anyone to bring her to the Final Two, if you’re looking for an easy win. And if Katie Gallagher reaches the Final Two, you can quote me on this, we will have our first ever 7-0 landslide win in favour of anyone going against her.

I knowthe Survivor would sound so boring on paper (oh Ulong lost a million challenges in a row … *yawn*), but seriously speaking, this season has been very very interesting to say the least. It’s a real shame that the general Malaysian viewers don’t get to see this, but don’t worry, they’ll all eventually be available on DVDs, and good news for Outback fans, the Survivor : Outback DVD set (full 2nd season) will be released in a few more days. (Amazon.com is your friend. Hehe)