Culturally Preconditioned

Seriously.. how does ntv7 get away with this stunt. First they pulled Survivor : Vanuatu off the air, just two episodes from crowning the winner, then they totally skipped Survivor : Palau.. and now they dumped all four episodes of Surivor : Guatemala last weekend without doing any significant promotion and show Episode 5 tonight? It doesn’t really matter if you bring the show on air 14 hours after it aired in America. No promotions = no viewers. But I’m kinda glad they’re showing Guatemala now, so that I can freely discuss Survivor again with my local buds. (I’m still gonna opt to download the episodes of IRC rather than endorse your shitty channel).

Aahhh.. Survivor. It’s a shame ntv7 did what they did because in my personal opinion, I thought Survivor Palau was one of the most interesting seasons yet. It certainly had many firsts :

First season to have two players exiting the game within the first 2 days.
First season to have a Muslim contestant.
First season with more than 3 people quitting.
First season where an entire tribe was decimated.
First season a survivor spent a night alone.
First season a survivor was exiled.
First season a survivor actually gained weight. (LOL.. but it’s true)
First season a merge never happened.

and that’s just from the top of my head. In any case, Survivor Palau was also a first for me. After 10 seasons I finally managed to find a spoiler on my own which correctly predicted Ashlee’s boot in the 2nd episode.

So.. Survivor : Guatemala. For those who have missed the first four episodes.. well, you didn’t miss anything much. Two contestants from Survivor : Palau was brought back for a second time. Bobby Jon and Stephanie.. the last two tribe members of Ulong, the tribe that got decimated in Palau. Let it be on record that I loved Bobby Jon adn Stephenie from Palau. In fact, Stephenie was my third most favourite female Survivor ever (after Shii Ann and Kathy)

But how quickly the tide turns. As of now, the list of my most hate survivor contestants EVER is as follows :

5. Andrew Savage (Survivor : Pearl Islands) who always fails to take ownership of his own failures

((gap))

4. Rupert Boneham (Survivor : Pearl Islands) whose pity party won him the million dollars at America’s Tribal Council

3. Jenna Lewis (Survivor : Borneo) who cried for not getting her children’s video from home and yet unashamedly distributed her own sex tape online

2. Penny Ramsey (Survivor : Thailand) manipulative, racist, smirking Stepford bitch.

((ginormous gap))

1. Stephenie LaGrossa (Survivor : Palau & Guatemala) Bitch Extraordinaire

Episode 5 Cast Impressions

Nakum Tribe

Stephenie (originally from Yaxha) - Seriously, does she do anything else but whine? I just fucking hate her whole uncooperative, condescending, holier than thou attitude. She keeps complaining how she always seems to be on a losing tribe.. Ulong in Palau, Yaxha in Guatemala, and now Nakum after the switch. Guess what, whore. The common thing from all those three tribes = YOU. When will this bitch realize that she is the biggest loser in Survivor history? She IS bad luck. And here she is yapping Why Me? I’m Sick Of Being On A Losing Team? schtick. Get over yourself, biatch. Stephenie has really fallen from grace. From being one of the most beloved Survivor contestant to the most hated in such a short time. And that’s no exageration. Loser bitch.

Jamie (originally from Yaxha) - He’s been my favourite since Episode 1.. mainly because he’s King Apathy. I LOVE his couldn’t-give-a-toss Whatevia attitude. If you’ve been watching since Episode 1, you will know what I mean. That said, his performance during the Reward Challenge was piss poor. But I loved his “Who’s smiling now” cry of victory at the end. Kinda reminds me of Shii Ann’s “TAKE THAT!” in All Stars. He and Steph and not the best buds before the switch, so I still hope Jamie will have a hand in voting that bitch out of Guatemala.

Lydia (originally from Yaxha) - Crazy little lady received votes in all her past three tribal council. Lydia certainly stepped up to the plate this week (even though I do find her Queen of Rock and Roll and Do the Pancake dance a tad disturbing). I hope Lydia will go a long long way.

Rafe (originally from Yaxha) - the token gay guy this season. He was one of the active message board users before signing up for Survivor.. but so far, I’m not at all impressed with is gameplay.
Judd (an original Nakum) - This hot tempered guy reminds me of Chris from the 3rd Apprentice. He’s a loose canon and is constantly complaining as well (although not as bad as that whore Stephenie). I’m not liking him so much and if he goes far, his betrayal to the original Nakum tribe will definitely bite him in the ass.

Margaret (an original Nakum) - Margaret was a star in the first episode. But she’s quickly turning into Lil. The next time Nakum goes to tribal council, she’ll be gone for sure.

Cindy (an original Nakum) - I know the odds are really against her right now (she is so in the minority), but.. BUT I still have hinkies that she is going to be our winner this season. There has been so many quotes and imageries that has been pointing to her being a significant character this season. Watch out Judd.. Cindy WILL step up to the plate. Yep.. I’m willing to bet she’s gonna win this.

Yaxha Tribe

Gary (an original Yaxha) - Worst liar ever (in Episode 4) and he bores me to death.

Amy (an original Yaxha) - I like Amy. She’s got spunk. She does have that Twila-ish characteristics but it’s not that bad. It’s a shame she injured her ankle though. At least she has more balls than that fucking doofus Jeff from Palau (who quit after stumbling over a coconut). Go Amy!

Brian (an original Yaxha) - He claims he’s straight but I’ve got news for him. Richard Simmons is more straight than him. Ellen DeGeneres is more of a man than he is. Brian is even gayer than Richard Hatch + Jeff Varner + Brandon Quinton + John Caroll + Coby Archa all put together. And newsflash : describing yourself as metrosexual is even worse than closeted gay guys who claim they’re bisexuals. But whatever. Despite that, I think Brian is a little sneaky conniving bastard who knows how to play the game. And because of that I love him and would like to see him go far in this game.

Blake (originally from Nakum) - Pretty Boy idiot fell for Silas’ trick on Doc Carl in Africa. How hard is it to keep your mouth shut and not tell your tribemates of your luxurious lifestyle outside the game? I’m glad he’s gone.

Bobby Jon (originally from Nakum) - I like him before this episode.. right now.. not so much. Go back to your cave, Neanderthal Man.

Danii (originally from Nakum) - I like her. She’s got spunk.. and out of all the remaining ladies, she’ll be the one who can kick Steph’s ass out into the crocodile infested lake (which I hope she does). That said, I gotta say Bobby Jon and herself are pretty stupid for not realising that ultimately Survivor is all about the numbers. You have seen your original Nakum tribe members on the other tribe is in the minority, and now you’re doing the same thing on your tribe. How stupid are you people? Fortunately for you guys, the winner this season will come from the original Nakum tribe *cough*CINDY*cough*

Brandon (originally from Nakum) - He did great and smoked Jamie’s ass during the reward challenge. But that’s about it. His days are numbered. He’ll be the next one gone the next time this tribe goes to tribal council.

All in all, it was a pretty good episode. I can’t wait for the Jamie vs Bobby Jon confrontation next week. That was the best preview ever. It had me rolling.