Culturally Preconditioned

Wow.. almost 2 whole weeks without updates. It’s partly because there’s nothing good to talk about since all the good shows are off the air for the summer. And secondly because I’m having a major case of writer’s block ever since I got the official ‘Malaysia Correspondance’ letter. I’m still having jitters about it. I don’t have butterflies in my stomach.. I have fucking hornets.

Anyway, no good shows on TV as of now. The only thing that I watch on TV right now is Supernatural on AXN, but that too has been kinda waning of late. The pilot episode was superb, but 5 episodes in.. my interest in it is just tapering off. I have given up on Akademi Fantasia. There’s no point in that. They’re too easy targets of ridicule for me. But I would highly recommend for those of you to read Y’s Daily Diary Dosage of the AF recaps with Miss Spoon. Good stuff.

Speaking of diaries, I have started to watch actual episodes of Big Brother (For those who aren’t in the know, let me put it this way… Akademi Fantasia is a mix between Big Brother and Astro Idol). It’s a shame this show has never aired in this country, cause the show is really really interesting. Besides Big Brother, I’ve also started to watch the Drawn Together cartoon series from Comedy Central. It’s a spoofs on various cartoon characters (like Superman, Pikachu, Betty Boom, Spongebob etc) being contestants on their own take on Big Brother. It’s the most hilarious and vulgar cartoon I’ve ever watched. It’s even more offensive than South Park. Didn’t think it was possible? Me neither, but it is.

So I’ve been watching loads of movies of late. And when I say loads.. I mean 9 movies in the span of 4 days, thanks to the French Film Festival. I’ve always been a sucker for these French Film fest (pretentious bastard, much?). But it’s true. I remember taking a few days off work just to watch these movies. There’s nothing like having an entire movie theater to yourself. I’m gonna try and give a short review and rating for these flicks.

In the order that I watched them :

THE BEAT THAT MY HEART SKIPPED (DE BATTRE MON CŒUR S’EST ARRÊTÉ)

The story centers on a young man who makes his living as a ‘criminal’ - something he involuntarily got involved in while trying to help his father’s business.We discover later that this guy had musical talents - something he inherited from his conecert pianist mother - and we see him trying to break out of his bad ways and try to rediscover his musical talent with the help of a Chinese pianist who doesn’t speak a lick of French. It’s a good movie, a little violent in parts but it was good. As is all typical French movies, there are open-ended issues but it was a pretty good movie. A 6 out of 10.

HOW INTERESTING! (CAUSE TOUJOURS)

I don’t even know how to start reviewing this movie - except that it’s highly interesting. The story is pretty simple. It revolves around an eccentric housewife, her writer husband, her two other girlfriends, a friend of the family and a mysterious mute working at the supermarket. Basically, without giving too much away, the story is about circumstances and how everything all ties up in the end. The storyline is really too simple, and yet you will know so much about all these characters in the movie. I don’t know what it is, the formula doesn’t seem right but somehow I really enjoyed the movie. A lot. An 8 out of 10.

CASH TRUCK (LE CONVOYEUR)

We’ve seen heist movies, movies on bank robberies, but so far, never a movie concentrating on the people behind the security companies that we all call the money trucks (that’s Securiguard for you and me). We start the movie knowing that the security company had been a constant target by a group of criminals. Our protagonist come in a form of a mysterious thug-looking guy who joins the company over a long holiday break. Who is he and why is he there, nobody knows. The movie keeps you on the edge, and tries to make you guess what his actual intentions are. A refreshing movie with an interesting conclusion. A 6 out of 10.

MERRY CHRISTMAS (JOYEUX NOEL)

This movie was nominated for Best Foreign Film at the 2004 Oscars and unlike general American movies that are actually in the running for the Best Film category, movies in this category has NEVER failed to impress the crap out of me (2004’s music teacher flick Les Choristes and Claude Lelouch’s 1995 epic drama Les Miserables based on Victor Hugo’s novel). I can NOT give too much away or it will take away the overwhelming emotional essence from the film, but the film is about a war that took place on Christmas Eve in 1914 between the French, the Germans and the Scottish. Go see it, rent it, download it.. I don’t care but you need to see it. A solid 9 out of 10. (And the movie stars Guillaume Canet - who was also on The Beach)

THE GREAT CHALLENGE (LES FILS DU VENT)

Calling this movie shit would be the understatement of this century.. and the century before that. This movie has permanently scarred me for life. How do I put it. Okay.. let me see. It’s like taking a script of the film American Ninja, use Swedish actors, in a Bollywood setting and dubbing the movie in Malay.. and then promoting the movie as a Malaysian movie. Seriously what the FUCK was GSC thinking bringing this fucking filth and associating it with the French Film Fest. Aside from the few actors speaking in French (and half others who were fucking DUBBED in French), there is absolutely nothing FUCKING FRENCH about this movie. It’s an E-class mertial arts movie with many cheesy bits and bloody shitty scripts and an ending that blind people can see a million light years away. Given the choice, I would rather sit and watch a Prof Mohaideen show back to back for 10 hours than watch this fucking shit excuse of a French movie. To whoever that was responsible for bringing this sack of pig crap into this country.. Fuck you. Fuck you a lot. A minus billion out of 10. Worst movie I’ve ever watched in ALL MY LIVES. Asshole. Ass. Hole.

MEN’S HEART (LE COEUR DES HOMMES)

I seriously thought after watching that filth above, it would turn me off French films for good, but thankfully the next one was a saviour. The movie stars two recognizable French actors, Jean-Pierre Daroussin (who was also in How Interesting!) and Bernard Campan (the French Chris Meloni, my second fave French actor after Jean-Paul Belmondo) and can easily be summed up as a men’s version of Sex And The City. These four men are at the crossroads of their lives. We have Antoine who finds out his wife has an affair, Manu who finds a new woman who may or may not be the one for him, Alex who’s developed a relationship with a woman who’s as old as his daughter and Jeff - the player and casanova of the group. The male bonding between firends worked without being too overtly mushy, and the script seemed to flow naturally, almost impromptu and we get a glimpse as to how real French people talk. Funny and moving at the same time, this movie deserves an 8.5 out of 10.

The Omen

I was eager to watch the remake of this 1976 horror flick because from the original trailer where the boy was sitting on the swing, he looked pretty damn creepy. I was surprised to see many big names attached to the movie : Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles, Pete Postlewaithe and even Mia Farrow! Wow. I’ve seen the original movie, so I can’t help comparing between the two. They stayed pretty true to the original. Too true that I actually found myself asking “well what’s the bloody point in doing the remake, then?”. There’s nothing new in the movie except they added the 9/11 and Tsunami tragedy to emphasize the sign of the apocalypse. *sarcastic claps* but that’s about it really. If you’ve seen the original, don’t waste your time with the movie. If you haven’t, then go see it. It is still a pretty good movie.A 7 out of 10 if you haven’t seen the original movie.A 4 out 10 if you have.

Black Night

This movie is actually an anthology of three short horror movies from Thailand, Indonesia and mmm I can’t remember where. The first short movie (Next Door) is about, well.. the ghost next door. Very cliched and the movie itself was not scary at all. The second short movie (can’t remember the name) is about a woman who’s haunted by a demonic monster that goes after people who hurt her. It was a very weird movie and left a bad taste in my mouth, like Stephen King on a really bad day. The third movie (The Lost Memory) was a pleasant surprise. A woman was involved in a car accident and has amnesia. As events unfold, she remembers what really happened thatexplains the supernatural thing she’s currently experiencing. Out of the three only one movie stood out, so I’m gonna give it a 4 out of 10.

Cars

Urghhh.. I was really dreading to see this movie, but I had already promised my nephwe and nieces to bring them to this show (and also a school holiday treat for them). So this movie is about cars. A cartoon movie about talking cars. So fucking what? I was not impressed at all. However, after the movie was over, I did a complete 180. This movie is the total shiznits! I FUCKING LOVED IT. WOW!!!! WOW! Talk about unexpected. I LOVE IT. I love it even more than Shrek.I thought this movie is all about a racing car on the circuits but the movie is actually beyond that. It is a bit long for the kids.. I think my nephew nodded off a little.. but this movie is truly awesome. I have rarely turned a complete 180 from my initial impression of the show, but hell yeah. I have a lot of problem deciding if this movie is the best movie I’ve seen all year, or is it still V for Vendetta. I think it’s a tie, and I’m pretty sure if I watch the movie again, it will definitely edge out V for Vendetta for the title. And the soundtrack is damn great too. I’ve heard Life is a Highway before, but Rascall Flatts’ version makes me completely fall in love with the song again (especially with the country twang). This is definitely the MUST SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Believe me, X-Men 3 (as good as I thought it was) doesn’t hold a candle next to this. A perfect 10 out of 10.

Oh.. and a special shout out to SC. Congrats on your new baby!! Thank God he wasn’t born 4 days ago, eh?