Rockstar : Supernova is a tale of redemption. Like the Phoenix rising from the flames, so does Dilana, as the world sees her rising from Navarro’s flames (oh look Ma.. it’s a double meaning!) and kicking back into gear. Yeah, like you didn’t see that from fucking miles away. Man, I love this show. I got a little moist (no, not down below) watching the episode. I know, I’m such a sucker.. sure Dilana’s a crazy bitch, but that’s the more reason to love her. Seriously, just give it to her already.

Lukas ~ Lithium (Nirvana)

The house band was right, the pause in the middle of the song was so un-Nirvana-like. And I mean that in a bad way. It was still an ejoyable performance, but it’s hard to put this ahead of Dilana’s version earlier this season. But it was still quite good. 7 out of 10.

Magni ~ I, Alone (Live)

I’m not sure if I like Magni singing slow songs. He sounds so.. ordinary. But I loved everything once he hit the chorus cause he hit it hard, baby. Overall, I didn’t think the performance was worthy of a Final 6 standard, it was okay. Personally I loved how he reasoned for the viewers to vote for him. Australians vote for Toby? Pffft. Canada voting for Lukas? You can definitely do better than that. And Americans voting for Ryan? LOL what a joke. That was a good dig, Magni. 6.5 out of 10.

Ryan ~ Clocks (Coldplay)

(Please note that all of the following quoted words should be read sarcastically) I don’t care that the song is chosen by the ‘fans‘ but tough fucking shit, dude for getting a Crapplay ‘song‘. What a combination, eh? The fucking fake singer that I dislike the most (who apparently have ‘TREMENDOUS‘ support from ‘fans‘ here in Malaysia. Anjing betina, tolonglah) singing a song by the most overfuckingrated ‘band‘ ever (I swear whenever I hear their songs start playing on the radio, I would turn it off. No shit, people. And to think I went to one of their ‘concerts‘. Yuck!) And Ryan ‘Star‘ actually made it so much easier for me, because vocal-wise he was truly beyond shite. Falsetto my ass. Fake posing asshole. 3 out of 10.

Storm ~ Bring Me To Life (Evanesence)

I heart Auntie Storm. I love her voice and am quite simply amazed that she pulled the song off vocally. I didn’t think she had the range for it cause everyone knows an Evanesence (sp?) song is really hard to pull off. So my hat goes off to her. Awesome. But you can tell that she was focusing too much on her singing, but it’s all good to me, baby. And Toby sounded hot on the backing vocals (I can’t help but toyed with the idea of them using the backing vocals from One In A Million LOL). 8 out of 10.

Toby ~ Rebel Yell (Billy Idol)

Eh.. it was good but it didn’t really grab my attention… at the beginning. Until he got all the backup dancers on stage (lucky bitches). From that moment till the end, Toby gets a 10 for stage presence. He really knows how to work the audience. Overall, his vocals was not really outstanding. It’s not that bad, but it was certainly better than Lukas’ version earlier this season. 7.5 out of 10.

Dilana ~ Mother Mother (Tracy Bonham)

*orgasm* I don’t know why but this performance reminds me a hell lot of her performance of Lithium. Intense, angry, explosive. Seriously, that was really good. God, I love LOVE this woman. If she wins this gig, I am totally going to one of their concerts. You can bet on it. <3 Dilana.. I wanna. 9 out of 10.

Before I start, a few little rants. Not only are we bombarded with repetitive annoying advertisements during the show, but now we are also treated to an advertisement for a product to whiten your celah ketiak. God knows that was bound to happen sooner or later. What next? Toe polisher for people with foot fetish? And another thing, I know this doesn’t belong here but it needs to be said. The whole thing about Mawi’s ex-fiancee releasing an album and selling a tell-all book on her past relationship with Mawi (as reported in The Star newspaper) is seriously the most media-whorish, attention-mongering, advantage-taking thing I have seen in a long long while. Malaysia apa-apa pun boleh kan? Dumbasses. I mean, the fact is nobody really gives a shit what went on between those two (and if some of you do, you guys seriously need to get a life). Things that have happened in private, should stay in private. Washing your soiled underwear in public is so not taking the high road. It’s a fucking sell out, that’s what it is. Oh and goodbye Lokman.. you will be missed. And now on to the show :

Alif ~ Tak Bisakah

I was actually surprised he wasn’t in the bottom group. For this performance, I thought he made the song sound more difficult than it really was. “Nasal” was the perfect word to describe that performance. 3/10

Alif ~ Harder To Breath

The voice was decent, but (I think I’ve said this countless times before) watching him perform was excruciating. A little bit over dramatic for my liking. 5/10

Dayang ~ Fever

I have to say that she looks gorgeous tonight. I love the bluesy take on this song. Her opening was superb, then it went awry for a bit, before she ended it with a bang. That was a really classy performance that should keep her in the competition. Brava. 8/10

Dayang ~ Be Without You

Somehow I knew I wasn’t gonna like this. It’s just the type of song that you just knowshe would sing. AND you know in advance how she was gonna sound. Predictable. It was good but it didn’t really work for me (and seriously, they need to get new background singers) 6.5/10

Faizal ~ Superstition

He reminds me of Chris Egghead, one who refuses to compromise. At least he knows his niche and he actually sounds good at it. You can tell he really wants to win this bad, but personally I’m getting a little tired of him. I just can’t imagine sitting through his CD though cause I get bored really easily. 7/10

Faizal ~ Elevation

Faizal is going to sound exactly like Faizal every time. And I have just realised that I’m rating his performance based on my personal likeability of the song that he’s singing, rather than his actual performance. So this gets another 7/10

Farah ~ Tak Terkapai Akalmu

I really thought it would be between Farah and Alif who will be leaving the show tonight. I have to say that I’m severly disappointed that Farah is still here. I don’t know what’s happened to her. She’s just getting worse and worse after each week. And no Paul, she doesn’t sound good on TV either. 4/10

Farah ~ Takkan Ada Cinta Yang Lain

Her voice actually sounds pleasant when she’s not singing the high notes and straining it. It was just slightly better than her first but I seriousy do not like it when she hits the high notes. And a very special THANK YOU to Syafinaz for calling her out on her Mat Salleh pronounciation of the letter T. 4.5/10

Azfar ~ Inayah

How can I sum up that performance? I guess I’d have to say it was pretty bland. No major flaw (except for the forced ‘lenggok nasyid’ opener which I SO do not give a shit for) but it came across as quite boring to me. Bleh. A note to the judge though, kalau jantan tak duduk kangkang, takkan nak kepit pulak… nanti lain pulak komen yg dapat nanti. Bleh. 5/10

Azfar ~ Andalusia

Yeah yeah technically he’s got good voice control and shit but I just don’t care much for the performance. I really don’t. And he’s a pretty mouthy guy, isn’t he? Just shut it with the smartass retorts already. 4/10

Suki ~ Pudar

The visuals were definitely weird for this one. You got a J-pop princess singing a Malay song on stage. Can’t get any weirder than that. The performance was enjoyable. I am finally feeling the Suki-love. That was simply splendid. But the judges comments on losing weight.. what the fuck was that all about? So she might gain a couple of pounds (it’s not even obvious), but I’d rather see a full figure than anorexic and bulemic stick figures on stage, thank you. That was the most idiotic comment I’ve ever heard from the judges. 7.5/10

Suki ~ When It All Fails

She started off really weak, tried to pick it up but faltered. She could’ve sounded so much better cause this song is really up her alley. Unfortunately she didn’t bring it home this time. And the dress was seriously retarded. Lose it. 5/10

If I’m not mistaken, the new Survivor season will start airing on September 14th, a day after the Dilana becomes the official frontwoman of Supernova on September 13th (yeah, I wish!). Let’s just hope ntv7 will do something right this time, and show it on the same day like they used to. And PLEASE move it onto Prime Time. The new cast for Survivor : Cook Islands has just been revealed. And you guys can see what the twist is. I will comment on this twist later, but here’s an interesting article I found regarding the new Survivor twist with Jeff Probst (pictures on the cast below) :

A Racy Twist for “Survivor”

By Gina Serpe 58 minutes ago
Some may call it exploiting racial tensions. CBS calls it darn good television.
Jeff Probst popped in on The Early Show Wednesday morning, confirming the reports that the 20 castaways for Survivor: Cook Islands will be grouped by race, with competitors divided into four tribes consisting of whites, blacks, Asians and Hispanics.

Apparently, “separate but equal” holds only the warmest of connotations for Mark Burnett.

Like a good host, Probst had nothing but praise for the producers’ controversial brainchild, calling the exercise in segregation a valuable social experiment, rather than a stunt to dig up some controversy–and raise ratings.

“The idea for this actually came from the criticism that Survivor was not ethnically diverse enough, because for whatever reason, we always have a low number of minority applicants apply for the show,” Probst said.

“So we set out and said, ‘Let’s turn this criticism into creative for the show.’ And I think it fits perfectly with what Survivor does, which is, it is a social experiment. And this is adding another layer to that experiment, which is taking the show to a completely different level.”

Different level, yes. Good level, still to be determined.

“If I had been a producer of this show, it is not an idea I would have come up with or given approval to,” Robert Thompson, director of the Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University, told E! Online. “It’s like a return back to segregated leagues in sports. The unseemly interest this will invite certainly is not worth the dramatic elements it’s going to bring.”

“To the less-than-open minded person, it is very easy to trash us,” Burnett explained to Entertainment Weekly. “But we’re smart enough to not make it negative. We’re smart enough to have gotten rid of every racist person in casting.”

Though more to the point, the producers haven’t and can’t weed out every racially sensitive person in their audience who may take offense to the seemingly archaic, and potentially socially irresponsible, division.

While the 43-year-old host admitted that the players themselves had “mixed reactions” to the racial separation, he made clear that the division was not meant to incite any controversy, add to the tension during the competition or simply be viewed as a gimmick.

“Our original idea was simply to have the most ethnically diverse group of people on TV. It wasn’t until we got to casting and started noticing this theme of ethnic pride that we started thinking, ‘Wow, if culture is still playing such a big part in these people’s lives, that’s our idea. Let’s divide them based on ethnicity,’ ” he said.

Though not everyone is as excited about the idea as Probst and his Survivor crew.

“It sounds like a gimmick a lot of people are going to have real issues as to the taste of,” Thompson said.

Referencing Burnett’s previous experiments on Survivor and The Apprentice to divide teams by boys vs. girls and, more recently on the latter, by street smarts vs. book smarts, Thompson said that “these things don’t often work so well in less dicey situations.”

And any publicity is good publicity, right?

“As far as getting some attention, getting it talked about again, this’ll do it,” Thompson said. “Survivor is a great game. It’s the gold standard of reality TV. But nobody seems to talk about it anymore.”

Or watch it.

Survivor: Cook Islands will be the reality show’s 13th installment and comes on the heels of the least watched season in the series’ history. Despite garnering an Emmy nod for Best Reality Competition, Survivor: Panama–Exile Island, which split the tribes based on gender and age, averaged a franchise-low 16.8 million viewers. Hence the latest drastic measure.

CBS Entertainment president Nina Tassler told EW that while she was hesitant to give the go-ahead on the “risky idea,” she finally relented, saying it was the logical next step in “a show that explores social politics.”

“It’s not just 18 white people,” Probst told the magazine. “Suddenly you have new slang, new rituals–people doing things like making fire in ways that haven’t been done on Survivor. I think we have a season where people will say you can never go back to what you were before.”

It’s not the first time a primetime reality show has flirted with race, though it will be the first time one follows through.

Last year, Donald Trump hinted that The Apprentice was toying with the idea of dividing his two teams by race, only to backtrack on the notion when backlash started up, saying “I personally don’t like it, so it will never happen.”

Survivor: Cook Islands kicks off Sept. 14. Here’s a list of the competitors:

• Rebecca Borman, 24, makeup artist, Laurelton, New York;
• Anh-Tuan “Cao Boi” Bui, 42, nail salon manager, Christiansburg, Virginia;
• Sekou Bunch, 45, jazz musician, Los Angeles;
• J.P. Calderon, 30, pro volleyball player, Marina Del Rey, California;
• Cristina Coria, 35, police officer, Los Angeles;
• Stephannie Favor, 35, nursing student, Columbia, South Carolina;
• Billy Garcia, 36, heavy metal guitarist, New York City;
• Adam Gentry, 28, copier sales, San Diego;
• Nathan Gonzalez, 26, retail sales, Los Angeles;
• Jenny Guzon-Bae, 36, real estate agent, Lake Forest, Illinois;
• Yul Kwon, 31, management consultant, San Mateo, California;
• Becky Lee, 28, attorney, Washington, D.C.;
• Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth, 25, waiter, Venice, California;
• Cecilia Mansilla, 29, technology risk consultant, Oakland;
• Sundra Oakley, 31, actress, Los Angeles;
• Jonathan Penner, 44, writer/producer, Los Angeles;
• Parvati Shallow, 23, boxer/waitress, Los Angeles;
• Jessica Smith, 27, performance artist/rollergirl, Chico, California;
• Brad Virata, 29, fashion director, Los Angeles;
• Candice Woodcock, 23, premed student, Fayetteville, North Carolina

Pictures below courtesy of SurvivorPhoenix.

And I call dibs on Jonathan or Jenny winning this whole shebang.

Patrice ~ Beautiful Thing (Original Composition)

The music was decent but the melody was all wrong..  it was too teeny-boppy for my liking. It wasn’t even catchy either. And is it just me or did her voice sound too gyrating than it normally is tonight? It wasn’t that good, and to tell you the truth, it was kinda painful having to sit through the entire song. 4 out of 10

Magni ~ Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

This song will always remind me of my time in MRSM. Ahhh glory glory days. I personally think Magni is starting to slack week after week ever since his wife came over for that surprise visit. Sometimes, his singing can almost be summed up as weak. But when he reaches the rocking and angry bits, he definitely delievers. Not as good as I thought he could’ve been, but it was good nonetheless. (And what Navarro said actually summed up my exact sentiments of Magni.. when the song calls for angst, he delivers the angst). 7 out of 10.

Ryan ~ Back Of Your Car (original composition)

Has hell frozen over? That was really good. I honestly enjoyed the performance. The song itself was bitching and Ryan wasn’t exactly 100% angry throughout the song (which is a first!). What he did with the guitar (ie. trashing it) was utter brilliance, after what Supernova commented on Magni. I had predicted the Final 4 will be Dilana, Storm, Magni and Lukas.. but it looks like Ryan might just bump one of the guys off (possibly Lukas).. AND unless Dilana makes a major fuck up.. Ryan could really win this. *shudder*. He’s shown versatility, he’s shown his writing skills and he’s performance showed good progress in the eyes of the band. But tonight’s performance.. I was impressed. I actually liked the song too. Personally I still don’t want to see him win, cause to me he will always be a P O S E R, (I almost barfed when I read the article in the Star newspaper today, that he has his eyes on Malaysia because there ‘has been tremendous support’ from Malaysia. Fucking Malaysian voters!!!) but yeah tonight was good. 7.5 out of 10.

Storm ~ Cryin’ (Aerosmith)

Awwww I missed Auntie Storm eye-fucking the camera. She hasn’t done that in two weeks, but there it was again tonight. LOL. There wasn’t any of your usual over the top Storm theatrics, but I thought it was a really strong, solid performance. Well, she could just sit on the toilet and that could be a thousand times better than her performance last week, but I really liked it a lot. 8 out of 10.

Dilana ~ Every Breath You Take (The Police)

WHat the fuck was up with the freaky feather eyelashes? Dilana’s performance tonight was good. It was pleasant. A very safe Dilana performance. It sounded way too much like the original version which made it kinda anti-climactic. I can’t say I enjoyed it that much. I’m just glad she didn’t go ahead and tell us the whole sob story of her estranged relationship with her mom. Well, it doesn’t really matter though. She’s still gonna win this gig unless she royally fucks up her original composition, I mean we all know how she did on the writing skills clinic (she kinda sucked ass). Oh well. Oooh and I loved the quick shot to Lukas as the band was praising her. Boy that midget was pissed. LOL. 7.5 out of 10.

Toby ~ Layla (Derek & The Dominoes)

Wow. I loved it. Vocally he was great. I could do without him taking him stripping on stage but I guess that’s what rockers do anyway (only not here in Malaysia of course.. hahaha stupid dumbass rules.. well that basically guarantees that Madonna will never ever set her foot on our soil.. idiots). Anyway, I loved how he performed all over the stage. With his fellow rockers, with the house band, and seeing him interacting with the audience. It was captivating. One of the best stage performances yet. If he’s not in the bottom three tomorrow, I really hope he gets the encore. (even if he goes out tomorrow, that deserves an encore) 8 out of 10.

Lukas ~ All The Things That I’ve Done (The Killers)

He’s quite the opposite of Magni, isn’t he? He sounds good when he’s not rocking, but when he does, you get this thing in his voice.. some sort of writhing, whimpering and whining shit that he enjoys doing so much. Go the fuck home Lukas. You have over extended your stay. 4.5 out of 10.

Baruuuuuuu je berangan nak bawak balik kete baru raya tahun ni… tengok2 bonus macam hampeh… increment lagi la.. celah gigi pun tak muat. Okay, so maybe it’s because I keep browsing the internet at work.. but whatever.. I need a pity party once in a while. Actually at RM1.5k a month, it’s still definitely affordable.. but then again, for now I have to give priority to (1) getting that British Shorthair cat, (2) saving for my dream kitchen for all my exclusive dinner parties, (3) saving for my 2-week trip to Australia. Wahhhh bunyi macam millionaire je… well, there’s no harm in dreaming of winning an actual game of Survivor in the future (Survivor : Cook Islands starts on Sept 14th by the way). But for the time being… RIP Peugeot 206cc. *sniff*

Dayang ~ Because You Love Me

Does anyone have any idea why she said she was gonna sing Because Of You?  Thank goodness it wasn’t that oversung piece of crud by Kelly Clarkson (I like Kelly Clarkson.. but that song should be banned from all singing competitions). For Dayang’s standards, I thought it was really weak. Come on. There was nothing special about that performance. It was not bad, but personally I feel she performs better with fast numbers. I was seriously bored at the end of it all. 5 out of 10.

Lokman ~ Terbaik

On one hand, I kinda like his performance (just a tiny bit). Pretty much proves that he’s got at least a decent voice to deserve a place in the finals. But on the other, most parts of the song made me think like he was dying. Meh.. not his best performance is all I can say. And his comments.. something about representing kerajaan? I’m sorry but where exactly the fuck did that came from? 4 out of 10.

Farah ~ Anytime You Need A Friend

There’s a reason why she always falls into the bottom group, and I am not at all surprised by that fact. I found her dedication to her siblings quite touching, but not enough to deter the fact that it was a sucky performance. And this time, there was definitely the single overextended note at the end. And Paul’s words of wisdom rings oh-so-true. When Farah tries too hard, she comes across as fake. Maybe that’s the main reason why I’m not so much into her on this show, as I was when she was on Malaysian Idol. 4 out of 10.

Suki ~ Inside Your Heaven

What is wrong with everyone tonight? Is it the theme? Did the stupid dedications theme killed off tonight’s show? I’m guessing by the end of it all, I’m just going to be depressed as shit. Suki’s performance was okay, but compared to Carrie Underwood, it was pretty mediocre. And you’re pretty much fucked if I give Carrie Underwood more praise than you, cause everyone knows I hate her. The performance was just bland. But Suki looks beautiful tonight, though. 4.5 out of 10.

Azfar ~ Dealova

MY GOD! What a totally depressing night?!! Only 3 more performances until this slumberfest is over. Thank goodness. Azfar… meh I was bored bored bored. 4.5 out of 10.

Alif ~ Feeling Good

I actually thought his vocals were quite good. But watching him perform on stage was totally off-putting. It was like watching a very bad high school production of a musical theater.. terkinja-kinja tak tentu pasal on stage. He does that a lot, doesn’t he? But he gets bonus points for singing the first non-suicidal-inducing song of the night. 5 out of 10.

Faizal ~ Warisan Wanita Terakhir

I absolutely loved his yellow Spongebob t-shirt, kinda reminds me of Wooldoor Sockbat. I haven’t heard this song in a long long while. I didn’t think it worked for Faizal though. It was weird. Definitely his worst performance by far. He should’ve resisted from shouting half of the song. It was too much. Too much! 4.5 out of 10.

All in all, tonight’s show is hands down the shittiest episode in Malaysia’s reality show history. Thank you, asshats. After tonight, I really don’t give a fuck who wins the show. And is it just me, or is the show starting to become some sort of Forum Perdana, what’s with all these stupid beauty pageant questions that nobody really gives a shit. One thing I’ll say though.. take any dumb blonde’s answer from the Miss Universe show, and it will put all of tonight’s contestants bumbling, nonsensical answers to shame. And honestly, some of these contestants need to learn to shut the bloody fuck up and stop all the loyar buruk backtalks to the judges. It may seem ‘cute’ and show that you ‘have a sense of humour’ at first. Now it’s getting just annoying, smartasses. Urghhh…

Am I menstruating again? After tonight’s shitfest, I might as well start.

Zayra ~ Lluvia De Mar (original composition)

I’m loving the Bjork dress. I’m actually amazed to see how similar her style and voice is to Bjork herself. That was actually hauntingly beautiful. The ending almost (almost!) gave me goosebumps. She will probably sell well, but just not with Supernova. There’s no way in hell Supernova would carry this song, but yeah I actually really do like the song. Call me crazy but I tnink that deserves a 6 out of 10.

Magni ~ Starman (David Bowie)

My brother called me up during the performance so I only got to hear the second half. But from what I heard, it was really really bland. Made me wish I didn’t ask my brother to stop mumbling about PS/2 and USB ports and to just sod off and call me back again in an hour’s time. 5.5 out of 10.

Patrice ~ Message In A Bottle

Goodness me. WHat the hell happened to Patrice? Has she always sucked this bad? I don’t think so but man, that was paltry. I was painfully bored (and I got the impression that she was too). She needs to go. At least we didn’t have to see her smirk this time around. 4 out of 10.

Lukas ~ Hero (Chad Kroeger)

I hope Lukas stops singing these kinds of songs, cause I really don’t want to start liking him. I thought it was pretty good. Not REALLY good, but good enough (for Lukas’ standard). It was one of his more decent performances, but there just was too much overpimping from Navarro that I honestly could do without. 6.5 out of 10.

Storm ~ I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

Auntie Storm (thanks Y!) is truly an AILF (do you honestly need explanation what does stands for?) but that was exceptionally hideous. Yuck. So much so, that now I feel compelled to share this clip with my fellow readers :

I give THAT a 10 out of 10. But for Auntie Storm, only a 2 out of 10. Her performance could’ve used a crystal ball too.

Toby ~ Solsbury Hill (Peter Gabriel)

I love this song. Despite a minor stumblefuck just before the bridge, I tought Toby did pretty well. He could’ve commanded the audience a little bit more though. The drum bit was pretty interesting, but when I think about him using the loud speaker last week, and now these bongo drums, it just felt tad cheesy. But overall, it was all good. 7 out of 10.

Ryan ~ In The Air Tonight (Phil COllins)

Oh for fucks sake, I cannot take any more of his deranged, crazed, hyperventilating, angst ridden expression. In comparison, it makes Chris Egghead Daughtry’s poker face so much more tolerable (I can’t believe I just said that). Yuck yuck yuck. I do not like this guy. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING P.O.S.E.R. Asshole. 5 out of 10. And I take back what I said about Lucas. I certainly do NOT get he over pimping for this asshat.

Dilana ~ Cats In The Cradle

I love this song too. I don’t know what it is about Dilana. Even for a stripped down unplugged version of the song, you can still feel the raw edginess, the rock, in the essence of her voice. SHE IS THE ONE, Y’ALL! I love you Dilana and I want to have a vagina implant and have your babies! An 8 out of 10.

I should make an entry on the recent Festival Filem Malaysia, but here’s a much more interesting post on that subject. Even though I think Gubra is a beautifully shot movie, I think it’s a tad overrated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that it won this year’s award but I can’t help but feel that the critics are undoing their wrongs for their harsh criticism of Sepet winning last year. Whatever. Yay for Yasmin.. I hope she continues to make great movies.. but I honestly did not enjoy Gubra as much. Gol and Gincu should’ve clinched it (I have no idea why this particular blog entry wasn’t imported from blogger when I migrated to wordpress), but hey what do I know?

Since we’re on the subject of movies, I thought it would be appropriate to post yet another Shit List. This time.. Top 10 Shit List of Cinema Goers.

10. Queue jumpers

I don’t usually have a problem with this as I usually book or buy my tickets in advance so that I can avoid the entire queue for purchasing tickets. But queue jumpers at the cinema are a different breed than the queue jumping motherfuckers at the LRT station. These folks would hover around at the beginning of the queue and pester the queueing folks to help buy their tickets. Whatever. I don’t mind these assholes as much since it would take.. what 15 seconds off my waiting queue? And they have to put on a thick face when asking these ‘favours’, not me. But they’re still jerkoffassholes anyway.

9. People who can’t sit still

You know these types… those who shake their legs, those who kick the seats in front of them for no apparent reasons. Of course, there’s also people who actually can not sit still, literally. Folks who fall into this categories include those who need to frequent the bathroom, those who need to go buy more food/drinks again and again and again, and those who need to answer their phone calls once in every 5 minutes (at least they are courteous enough to get the hell out of the hall). Unfortunately 85% of the time, these same group of people are not smart enough to choose the aisle seat, and it seems like they just HAVE to seat in the middle seat every damn time.

8. Latecomers

You know you’re already late… but is there a need to annoy the shit out of everyone already sitting comfortably in their seats? Must you stand still in the middle of aisle for at least 1 minute so that you can block the screen with your ginormous head/hand/chest/bodyparts ? Inconsiderate fuckers. There is NO such thing as fashionably late.

7. Indecisive Jerks

You get these fuckers at the ticket queue, and also at the concessionaries.. all the bloody time. And it’s always YOU who’s next in line, which makes waiting and listening to tehri annoying indecisivenes so much more painful. Some people can be so goddamn inconsiderate by making other people in the queue wait longer than necessary. Make up your bloody mind in advance next time, please.

“You nak popcorn large ke medium”
“mmm.. I tak nak popcorn la”
“Abis you nak apa… jagung?”
“emmmmm (5 minute pause)”
“I nak beli twisties la”
“you jangan beli yang cheese ye”
“nak flavour apa?”
“emmmmm (3 minute pause)”
“Air? Nak coke?”
“Banyak gula lah”
“Mineral water?”
“emmmm.. (2 minute pause)… mahal la mineral water dia”
“Nak jus?”
“emmmm (eternity pause)”

goddamnshitmuthafuckmakeupyofuckingmindalreadyyoufuckingbiatch.

6. Noisy eaters

Ohmigod. Given the choice between having a partner who’s a noisy eater and a partner who’s got a body odour, I’d probably have to choose the latter (not really, if I really HAD to choose between the two, I’d probably throw myself in front of a speeding train). But come on! Noisy eaters.. in a cinema. How fucking loud can you possibly be to earn such a title? And they ALWAYS wait until the suspenseful scenes to open that pack of Twisties, slurp their sodas and chomp on their popcorns. Not only it is the most disgusting habit one can possibly have but it’s also a Bloody mood killah.

5. SMS texting BITCH

This cunt needs her own category. Yeah I know.. I know.. sending an sms in the cinema is not that bad. Nu-uhhh… you can’t be more wrong, girlfriend. *snap*. First of all, the glare off the handphone is just a few brightness level lower than enough to clinically blind your eyes in the cinema. Secondly, when someone texts vigorously as loud as typing on a keyboard, it ain’t so cute. Thirdly, all this megabitch does is send a text message, waits a minute, gets a reply, vigourously sends back, waits a minute, gets a reply, repeat. I swear to GOD she did this for a close 25 minutes straight, and all the time she was looking at her bloody handphone (even when she was waiting for the SMS). GODDAMMIT woman, if it’s so important, get out of the bloody cinema and make a bloody call. You aren’t even watching the fucking movie. All you’re doing is trying to blind everyone within a 10 seat radius of your annoying cellphone.

4. People who talk on the phone

Why can’t these people get it through their ultra thick skull that you’re not supposed to talk on your phone in the cinema? What are those Nokia reminders for? Comedic value? Assholes. I mean, I get that sometimes you NEED to answer your phone, but can’t you get out of the hall and do it? Or if you HAVE to answer the phone, can you just say a short word like “later” or “not now” or “cinema” and hang up and return their calls? Then there’s also people who ‘whisper’ through the phone. Damn it people. I HATE PEOPLE WHO WHISPER THROUGH THEIR PHONE. It seriously is more loud than saying something in a low voice. Whispering = high decibles. Idiots. There’s also people who need to explain to their callers that they’re in the cinema. Again and again and again.

“Sapo tu? Aku kat waye. Kat waye.. Ha ah.. dale waye. Ye. dah lama stak dah. Jap lagi aku tubik. Aaahh dok abih lagi nih. Aaa okay okay. Aaah nanti call balik”

MOTHERFUCKERS! There’s also people who actually carry on with their full length conversations. I, of course, wish horrible accidents to fall upon these assholes once the movie is over.

3. Ringing handphones

Is this more annoying than number 4 ? Actually yes, because it happens more often. Some people are quick to realize that they didn’t mute the handphones. Yeah, it could be an honest mistake (but how many reminders do you need, really), but most of these people would quickly stop the ringing tone upon realizing their mistake. Then, there’s always exceptions. There will be people who will have their phone ringing more than at least twice throughout the show, and they can’t even be bothered to turn it on to vibrate mode. WTF people? And that’s not even the worse thing. They’d usually let their phone ring for more than 10 seconds (10 seconds is a LOOOOOONG duration for a fucking ring tone). Do they think I enjoy listening to Linkin Park or some Bollywood ring tones while I’m watching a movie? For fuck’s sake!!

2. People who talk

More often than not, these category falls exclusively to couples.

“You terkejut ke tadi..?”
“Mana ada I terkejut?”
“kenapa you terkejut?”
“Benci lah you ni… *giggles*”

Goddamnbitchplease!!!! And then there’s always people trying to explain stuff.

“Kenapa dia bunuh pompuan tu?”
“You tak paham ke?”
“Ye la.. apa motif dia”
“Pompuan tu sebenarnye *blablabla*”
“Oh ye ke..”
“You ni tu pun tak paham”
“Benci lah you ni… *giggles*”

Don’t that make you wanna club their heads together? But the worst kind has GOT to be people actually SPOILING the movie for you.

“Aaah you tengok eh.. kejap lagi dia ni kena bunuh”
“Ye ke? I tak nak tengok la… takut”
“Aah ahh.. you tengok tu.. kejap lagi killer tu keluar dari dalam van”
“Eeee tak nak tgk”
“You takut ke? Meh sini…”
“Eee gatal la.. benci la you ni… *giggles*”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh.. someone fucking rape and kill me right now please!!!

1. Kids

Seriously. I hate going to the movies and have little fucking brats spoil it for me. I give exceptions to animated movies, but even then there’s a limit. Why do people bring in two-years olds (and even baby cribs) into the cinema hall is beyond me. I know it’s the parents who want to watch the show (I saw someone bring in a baby crib during “The Break Up” recently), but how selfish and cheap can you be dragging in an infant into a movie that they wouldn’t even begin to understand? Get a fucking babysitter! And when the baby starts crying, the stupid parents don’t even bother to take the baby out of the hall to console IT. Goddamn. And let’s not even talk about infants, even for ‘grown up’ kids (ages 4-12) who are simply brats that just screams attention. If you know your kids behave that way, DON’T BRING THEM INTO THE CINEMA. Hell, don’t even bring them into the public. And there’s also this one time, a mother brought in a 3 year old into the cinema to watch Harry Potter (seriously, what can a 3 year old get from watching Harry Potter? And alamak… kantoi pulak tengok Harry Potter kat wayang), and the kids wants to go peepee, and the mother is too engrossed with the movie that she went ahead and ask her kid to GO FUCKING KENCING IN A FUCKING PLASTIC BAG THERE AND THEN IN THE CINEMA. WHAT IN HOLY FUCK OF FFUCKS??? True story… that’s some seriously fucked up thing to witness in the cinema. So in summation… kids and cinemas don’t go together. N. O. NO.

Lokman ~ Menanti Sebuah Harapan (Padi)

I’m glad he’s still in this competition in spite of the trainwreck last week. I’m aslo galad he got this song. Very laidback, relaxed - which is so him. There weren’t much musical distractions within the arrangement and that allowed me to hear the clarity of his voice and pleasant tone. I love him. Overall, the performance was nothing out of the ordinary, save for the uniqueness of his tone which I am absolutely in love with. A 7.5 out of 10.

Alif ~ Unwell (Matchbox Twenty - it’s TWENTY, not 20.. get your facts right, 8tv)

Another pleasant performance from Alif. If he’s not careful, he’s going to turn into my ex-roommate* (not the current racist, homophobic one) who thinks he’s Rob Thomas incarnate (bitch please) if he keeps getting Thomas’s songs. It was pleasant but perhaps a little too laidback for an intense, angry song. And what the hell was up with him smiling. That bothered me a little. He could’ve done better, I think. 6 out of 10.

Zai ~ Incomplete (Backstreet Boys)

The musical arrangemnet was different and I kinda liked it. As for Zai’s performance, it was better than last week but not by much, really. I miss Dina. That is all. And Syafinaz really ripped her a new one, didn’t she. Man, what a bitch!!!!! (for what it’s worth, that’s actually a compliment. Me likey). 5 out of 10.

Faizal ~ L.O.V.E (Ashlee Simpson)

ROFLMAO. Ashlee Simpson. To be fair, I’ve never heard the original song. Ashlee Fucking Simpson, are you shitting me? I would sooo rather cut my left nut than listen to that bitch’s crap. It seemed like Fazial pretty much understood the challenge and he performed it well. I was more than ready to get tired of the whole rocker style persona, but he did great given that shit of a song that was given to him. Ashlee Simpson. Come on! Seriously wtf? 8 out of 10.

Dayang ~ Selamanya (Innuendo)

Aik.. “suara saya sengau sikit je”? Mengaku sendiri, tak apa. So then why wasn’t she doing anything to rectify that, cause she certainly did sound kinda sengau to me in parts (well it’s her fault for pointing that out to me). I dunno. To me, it was good, but just a typical Dayang performance. She needs to do something to really wow the audience if she wants to win this thing. Unfortunately, I don’t think she achieved that with tonight’s performance. A 7 out of 10.

Farah ~ Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper)

I would love to say she butchered one of my favourite songs ever from the 80s. But she didn’t. That was excellent. Nice arrangements and she really did manage to make this song her own this time without straying away too much from the original. Nice. Loved it. Maybe, partly it was because we saw part of her old girl next door persona again. [Xandir P. Wifflebottom] Brava, Farah. Brava. [/Xandir P. Wifflebottom] 8.5 out of 10

Azfar ~ Kamu (Nitrus)

OMG I can’t believe they picked a Nitrus song!!! Speak of the devil* (see above Alif post), I remember listening to this raw demo in my ex-housemates car stereo and him asking for my input a few months ago. LOL. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned him in my post earlier. But really does bring back memories, so much so I feel compelled to have a few rounds of snooker with him tomorrow. As for Azfar, well I thought he was pretty decent. There was no over the top modulations which I came to expect from him, so that was good. 6.5 out of 10.

Suki ~ Pasangan Yang Tepat (Marshanda)

Wow, I’m very impressed that she can speak and sing in Malay very well. I’m not so familiar with the song, but it was pleasant enough. There was clarity in her voice which I liked, and I CANNOT AGREE WITH SYAFINAZ MORE! It was so much better that listening to some Malay singers singing in Malay but trying to sound so mat saleh with their words (you know what I mean). Diction bersepah tapi perasan omputeh.. camana tu? And I thought Paul was unnecessarily harsh on Suki. I would like to hear him speak in Malay sometimes. 2 sentences will do, for a start. Sheesh! Take a chill pill, dude. 7 out of 10.

Dilana ~ Won’t Get Fooled Again (The Who)

Gilby’s on lead for this. I loved it (buig fucking surprise, huh?) The fact that Dilana didn’t know this song and pulled that spectacular off deserves a lot of praise. It was great, I love Dilana to death and I hope Navarro’s words will come true. Dilana for the win, baby! 9 out of 10

Jill ~ Mother Mother (Tracy Bonham)

That was kinda intense. I actually love her new straight hair look. One of her better performances cause there was no overdoing stuff. And this was how she should’ve done it all throughout. 7 out of 10.

Ryan ~ Painted Black (The Stones)

His theatircs was so goddamn cheesy if you ask me. I personally thought the old trying-to-hard Ryan is back. He’s got a decent lower range, I’ll give him that. I’m just not a fan when he’s screeching. 4 out of 10.

Storm ~ We Are The Champions (Queen)

Wow. She’s got major balls for taking on this classic. Storm is hot in every sense. Vocals, looks, stage presence, audience interactions, the works!bSuperb. If I HAVE to find any fault in that, I’d have to say it was a little laidback compared to her previous performances. 9 out of 10.

Zayra ~ All The Young Dudes (David Bowie)

Magni played guitar on this, which came off as a surprise to me. But oh come on, this running Latina joke is almost getting stale. Her vocals are annoying. It was totally horrendous but it was just enough to keep me from changing the channel. 3 out of 10.

Josh ~ Interstate Love Song (Stone Temple Pilots)

Tommy Lee played drums on this one. Despite the fact that he missed a line, like Magni with Plush, Josh will get an obscenely absurd extra points than he deserve for not totally destroying one of my FAVOURITE SONGS EVAH. I actually kinda loved it, but I think I could’ve probably taken that song and rocked it more (again, I will probably soon have my foot in my mouth for making this statement). 8 out of 10.

Magni ~ The Dolphin’s Cry (Live)

I loved loved the accoustic performance. Really brings out his voice. And man, I haven’t heard this long in a long long looooong while! That was excellent. I loved this. Now, THIS performance deserves praise, not the overrated piece of piano shit that was Ryan’s performance from last week. 8.5 out of 10.

Patrice ~ Instant Karma (John Lennon)

Something about Patrice bothers me. It might be her hair, it might be her perpetual smirk, I dunno. There was nothing wrong with that performance but it just didn’t grab me like it should. 6 out of 10.

Lukas ~ Creep (Radiohead)

The first Lukas performance that I truly enjoyed. For once, I can actually hear what he’s singing, and what could possibly be a small hint of melody in his natural voice. That was hot and explosive. I loved it, and I hope he gets the encore tomorrow. 9 out of 10.

TOby ~ Burning Down The House (Talking Heads)

Finally! We’re seeing the old Toby resurface back again. Energetic and strong vocals, that was truly awesome. He’s back in the game, people!! LOve love loved it!! 9 out of 10.

I don’t know what’s going on, but this is the BEST Top 10 reality show performance ever (despite Ryan and Zayra in the fold).. and thank GOD there’s no Coldplay traxcks this week ::shudder::