Culturally Preconditioned

Before I start, here’s the videos for the Survivor : Cook Islands Finale and Reunion Special, and Episode 7 of Amazing Race Asia

Survivor : Cook Islands - Episode 15 Finale (700 Mb)

Link: http://www.yousendit.com/download/B0AaJwpokY95TA%3D%3D

Survivor : Cook Islands - Reunion Special (350 Mb)

Link: http://www.yousendit.com/download/OTR8cYA6Qa95TA%3D%3D

Amazing Race Asia - Episode 7 (350 Mb)

Link: http://www.yousendit.com/download/OTQOjIaykY95TA%3D%3D

I have watched the Cook Islands Finale, and already know the outcome, but couldn’t really be bothered to watch the reunion special yet, so I’ll reserve my comments on the show’s outcome later this week.

Anyway, back to Amazon.com. I have been a loyal Amazon customer ever since 1997 when I was in the UK. Nine years down the road, and they’ve only gone from good to better to being the absolute BEST online marketplace ever. Seriously. Not only do they provide lots of different choices, including outdated and hard to find items, but they actually sell merchandise cheaper than the actual manufacturer’s website (yeah, if you need a comparison, check out the Apple Webstore and the HBO Webstore.)

I have quite possibly placed almost 50 orders from them (including from their UK branch) to date, and have received no less than 2 less than satisfactory orders. The first was when it actually took a month to arrive in KL.. after investigation, I discovered the fault was with our local Jabatan Imigresen. But of course, right? It was stuck there for over two weeks, and weirdly enough I was summoned by them to collect my parcel at the KLIA Cargo (which I thought was weird). Obviously, something was amiss and true enough, two of my DVDs were missing from the package (even though it was listed on the invoice).

Having ordered many many times from Amazon.com before, I knew my package was tampered with and my two DVDs were practically stolen. I wouldn’t make this bogus claim if it were not the fact that I heard some of the officials there sighing that there is this possibility ‘what with the people in that department’. Anyway, that is all for another story at another time. Not holding the entire department responsible, but to the cum guzzling cock sucking grandmother cunting fucks that stole my DVDs, may you burn in the fiery depths of hell. Assholes. Anyway, I wrote to Amazon to comment on my missing DVDs and the possibility of ordering a new one. And they simply sent me the missing DVD copies even though they were not at fault (I felt kinda guilty but wha-hey! I didn’t ask for a complete replacement!). That was in 2003.

And so, just recently I got yet another package delivered. Everything seemed okay, until I opened the box. Holy crap.. the LOTR box set that I ordered was dented.. no… damaged. I’m not sure if the damage was done during shipment (not sure if that was the case, because my package seemed like it was still in good condition, plus there were paddings within the package). I could be wrong, but it does seem like they gave me a box set that was already damaged before shipping. I was very pissed. But I was ready to let it go.. well.. it’s just a the DVD box set, as long as I could play the DVDs, I’m okay. But that was when I opened up the Disc Set 1 to assess the damage.

You can view the pictures here.

The damage was beyond acceptable.. even for myself (who would usually take the less harsh ‘tak kisah lah’ approach, believe it or not). Thinking about it, I shouldn’t even accept the entire box set even though the Disc Set 2 and Disc Set 3 (and by the looks of it, the actual DVDs of Set 1 - minus the casing) looks to be in good condition. I ordered the DVD Box Set for the Box Set, and bottomline was it was severely damaged. I was pissed. So I had no choice but to write to them and order a replacement. They also had this return policy and process which supposedly make things easier, and even though they wouldgive me a refund for the shipping costs, I would still have to fork out .. what RM100-200 for the shipment back to their warehouse? Dude, the box set is not so light, okay? Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Then, interestingly enough I received this in my email this morning :

“I am sorry for the problem you experienced with your shipment. I
have requested a refund for the item and associated shipping cost.
As the cost of return shipping is prohibitively expensive in this
case, you do not need to return the original items.

I’ve also placed a new order for the item “The Lord of the Rings” to
be shipped to you as soon as possible. The charge for this order is
$75.85. Both the charge and refund will be applied to the credit
card used on the original order. “

Fuck a duck. Now THAT’s what you call Customer Service. I mean, wow.. seriously? I had all intentions to mail them back the DVDs tomorrow, even if it costs me RM100++ just for the postage alone, but apparently I don’t need to return the item. Yay! Call me taking advantage of the situation, but it wasn’t like I made a bogus claim just to get a free replacement. I’m so flabbergasted. You think you can find similar levels of customer service here in Malaysia? I’ll lick my own ass la if you can show me where. Even on Malaysia Airlines, they give you complementary gifts when they fuck up your vegetarian meal that you have ordered weeks ahead.

Maybe part of the reason why the customer service here is so bad, is because the kinds of customers we all are (speaking in general terms - but siapa makan cili la kan?). So kiasu, so often nak take advantage. I even see this kind of thing - The Ugly Malaysian - overseas. You know lah, students buy videocamera, then go on holidays taking videos, and before the month is up, they use the 30-days money back guarantee (no questions asked - literally!, some more) to shamelessly return the videocamera back. They call is ’smart’, I call it ‘ no ethics’. But whatever, you know. Kat sini, jangan harap.. even with a 30-day money back guarantee AND you have valid reasons to return the item, you will only be greeted with loads of questions, frowns and suspicions that make you wanna shout “kau ingat kau tu cantik sangat???”. Whoopsies.. overdose pulak.

Anyway, back to Amazon. Yeah, for what it’s worth, the customer service is seriously the best I’ve ever seen, either online or in real life. You can NOT beat them. That is what you should judge when evaluating how excellent a service provider is, shouldn’t you? They also have Artificial Intelligent-based recommendation based on the things you have bought (or even browsed), and more importantly their prices are so much much cheaper.

Oh which reminds me, I was looking for my friend’s book - Tribal Warfare: Survivor and the Political Unconscious of Reality Television (Critical Studies in Television) - a must read for Survivor fanatics - at Kinokuniya, and apparently they don’t carry the book. So I asked them how much it would cost if I got them to order the book for me.. and the amount this Kinokuniya rep gave me was RM150-160. For fucks sake. I told her, “but I could get it cheaper from Amazon”. And she said “maybe you should just order it from Amazon”. Okay, I SO deserve being told off for that, but the price difference was a LOT. And even though she was right to say that, to my face, would that indicate a decent customer service? I don’t think so. So screw you, Kinokuniya, my friend posted me a free copy :p

Oh.. not only Kinokuniya.. The new LOTR DVD Box Set - which has 12 DVDs in total - costed about $65.. which roughly translates to RM260. And how much Speedy video is selling? RM499. And not only that la.. the LOST Season 2 DVD was bought for only $35 (about RM140).. and they are selling it for RM249… and some more, it’s region 3 format. Come on la. People buy the DVDs for it’s extra features, but they are noticably missing from ALL Region 3 formats. What the fuck? Dah la mahal nak mampos. Apa faedah aku beli original Region 3 DVD? Kalau setakat nak beli DVD yg takde feature tu, baik la aku beli DVD-9 yg bersepah kat Low Yatt.
So in summation, Amazon.com is the shiznits. Other marketplace pales in comparison. Thank you. Amazon.com. Gunakan tanpa waswas.