Culturally Preconditioned

So I remember back in 2001.. I came in to the office, started up my notebook, went to the pantry and made myself some of those awful company subsidized instant coffee. When I got back to my place, one of my colleagueshad also already arrived. He was being strangely perky that morning, and I had no idea why.

Izad : Morning whore.

Colleague : Fuck you too, bitch.

Izad : Apasal kau tersengeh2 tak pasal2 pagi buta ni?

Colleague : Saja je. Hey you want a trivia question?

Izad : Sure. Gimme.

Colleague : What is the largest bird in the world?

Izad : Ostrich lah, duh.

Colleague (while smirking) : Nope.

Izad : Huh? Are you sure? Betul la ostrich.

Colleague : You would think so. But you’re wrong.

Izad : Really? So what is it then?

Colleague (triumphantly) : Camel.

Izad : what the fuck? Are you sure?

Colleague (arrogantly) : Yep. Camel. Aku pun tak sangka.

He seems pretty confident and cocky with the answer. Camel is a bird? Seriously.. wtf?? Is this some sort like the lion is in the cat family and the wolves are in the dog family kinda thing? The camel is a bird? Then it took me awhile to realize what had just happened.

Izad : Weh.. ko tengok Who Wants To Be A Millionaire ke semalam?

Colleague : Ha ah. Kau pun tengok ke?

Izad : Woi bengong.. jawapan dia Ostrich la.

Colleague : Mana ada… jawapan dia Camel la.

You see.. what happened was.. on the show, they asked “Apakah burung terbesar di dunia”. And the options given were (A) Kasawari (B) Helang (C) Garuda (D) Unta.

Do you see where this is going?

Izad : Ko ni mmg mangkuk ayun la.. Jawapan dia Ostrich lah.

Colleague : Habis tu dia jawap Unta betul semalam?

Izad : Unta tu Camel. Burung Unta tu Ostrich la. WTF? Yang kau pandai2 buat literal translation sapa suruh.

Colleague : (red faced and excuses self to the toilet)

Needless to say, to this very day, I rub that camel joke thingy in his face. He truly did believe that the Camel was a bird. Ohmigod. Can’t really blame him.. I thought the options given was ridiculous too (I mean.. come on .. Unta), but he so deserved that. LOL Nak tunjuk pandai konon. Hahahaha. The camel is a bird INDEED. Thank fuck he didn’t misinterpret the cameltoe is a bird. That would’ve been something else.

Anyway, you must be wondering why I’m posting that here it’s because (1) we had camels in tonight’s episode and (2) I personally think the joke is just slightly lamer than tonight’s episode. Goodness, what a snorefest. Even the outcome couldn’t save it. Seriously? Andy & Laura made the season. Funny how I hated them when they were in the show, but now that they’re gone.. the show has really turned boring, well for me, personally.

So tonight’s was a continuation from last week’s non-elimination leg in Dubai. The teams stayed at the Marghan Desert Camp for a mandatory rest period. I realized that the teams weren’t really that far apart. SanFran came in first. Andrew & Syeon was only 15 minutes behind. JJ & Zab were only 5 minutes behind them. And the M&Ms were 15 minutes behind them.

Anyway, they had to grab a clue smacked in the middle of the desert using a 4WD. It would’ve been much more interesting if the teams were driving the 4WDs themselves, but apparently they have appointed drivers to drive them in the sand dunes. The clue led them to the detour of Ride (ride an Ostrich and navigate their way to get 5 flags) or Seek (find a buried metal ostrich in the sand using a metal detector). Working with animals is never easy. If I was there, I would’ve definitely chose to do Seek. And I would undoubtedly end up the last team, as we witness that there are actually appointed handlers to help them to guide the ostriches. I don’t get it. That was quite lame.

Next they had to go to the Eye of the Emirates thingy (oooh I’m actually excited about the Eye on Malaysia thingy) where they had to find a clue hidden in 5 of the 42 gondolas. During the race to the Eye thingy, I noticed the camera focusing on SanFran’s taxi speed indicator (was well over 160 kmh). Not trying to be kiasu or anything but is that below the speed limit? No penalty? God, I’m starting to sound like that douche Azhar Sulaiman in the celebrity Explorace. Oh whatever.

It was a stroke of luck that Andrew & Syeon got their clue on their first try. Very impressive. The whole “I had a dream” story was nice, but a little over the top IMO. Could it possibly be an indication that they will actually win the race? Who knows. JJ&Z once again stepped up to the plate by being smart at the Eye. So were SanFran, but unfortunately, they just weren’t lucky. Seriously guys, this was a bloody crapshot. I wasn’t too happy with this challenge. Required near zero skills actually. But I’m glad Asy and JJZ were the first two to get their clues there.

Next roadblock - eat (presumably ostrich) brains. What’s the big deal. Come on. I’m kinda surprised Syeon never tasted brains before. Mmmmm sup otak.. yummy. I was really glad when JJ decided to do the roadblock cause I know for a fact she will do well. And she DID! Seriously, if there was an award for Most Improved Racer, it should go to Joe Jer. Love her. JJ did well, but Sandy.. omfg.. the beast that he is, totally breezed through the challenge! And they made the most smartest decision ever by not having Francesca do it. Wow.. I’m impressed. Marsio.. well.. at the end he says he’s not allowed to eat internal organs (maybe becaus eof his religious beliefs? I dunno).. but if I was in his position (not allowed to eat the stuff) I would’ve bowed out (although I’m sure Williams will tell me I’m a total fool for not doing it). So kudos to Marsio. Not. I also noticed Andrew also (almost?) threw up at the roadblock? Motif?

Next they had to find a clue in the home of some Sheikh Saeed, which tells them to go to Wild Wadi Waterpark. Then the final clue tells them to go to the pitstop at the Mina A’Salam Beach opposite the Burj Al-Arab (Yay! At least we get a glimpse of that awesome hotel). Andrew & Syeon got in first. Joe Jer & Zab got in second. San Fran got in 3rd. The M&Ms got in last and were eliminated. I have a lot to bitch about the M&Ms based on tonight’s episode, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m glad the top 2 were our home teams. Brava. And I do appreciate Sandy making a mockery of Alan saying something along the lines of “I dont wanna hear Alan saying.. You are team number….*long pause*…”
That was funny. But not good enough to save this lackluster episode. The editing was poor. No effort was done to hide the order of arrival after the teams finished the EYE task.Still rooting for Joe Jer & Zab for the win, but honestly speaking, the episode was comparatively boring. Let’s just hope something exciting happens in the finale.