Culturally Preconditioned

So I remember back in 2001.. I came in to the office, started up my notebook, went to the pantry and made myself some of those awful company subsidized instant coffee. When I got back to my place, one of my colleagueshad also already arrived. He was being strangely perky that morning, and I had no idea why.

Izad : Morning whore.

Colleague : Fuck you too, bitch.

Izad : Apasal kau tersengeh2 tak pasal2 pagi buta ni?

Colleague : Saja je. Hey you want a trivia question?

Izad : Sure. Gimme.

Colleague : What is the largest bird in the world?

Izad : Ostrich lah, duh.

Colleague (while smirking) : Nope.

Izad : Huh? Are you sure? Betul la ostrich.

Colleague : You would think so. But you’re wrong.

Izad : Really? So what is it then?

Colleague (triumphantly) : Camel.

Izad : what the fuck? Are you sure?

Colleague (arrogantly) : Yep. Camel. Aku pun tak sangka.

He seems pretty confident and cocky with the answer. Camel is a bird? Seriously.. wtf?? Is this some sort like the lion is in the cat family and the wolves are in the dog family kinda thing? The camel is a bird? Then it took me awhile to realize what had just happened.

Izad : Weh.. ko tengok Who Wants To Be A Millionaire ke semalam?

Colleague : Ha ah. Kau pun tengok ke?

Izad : Woi bengong.. jawapan dia Ostrich la.

Colleague : Mana ada… jawapan dia Camel la.

You see.. what happened was.. on the show, they asked “Apakah burung terbesar di dunia”. And the options given were (A) Kasawari (B) Helang (C) Garuda (D) Unta.

Do you see where this is going?

Izad : Ko ni mmg mangkuk ayun la.. Jawapan dia Ostrich lah.

Colleague : Habis tu dia jawap Unta betul semalam?

Izad : Unta tu Camel. Burung Unta tu Ostrich la. WTF? Yang kau pandai2 buat literal translation sapa suruh.

Colleague : (red faced and excuses self to the toilet)

Needless to say, to this very day, I rub that camel joke thingy in his face. He truly did believe that the Camel was a bird. Ohmigod. Can’t really blame him.. I thought the options given was ridiculous too (I mean.. come on .. Unta), but he so deserved that. LOL Nak tunjuk pandai konon. Hahahaha. The camel is a bird INDEED. Thank fuck he didn’t misinterpret the cameltoe is a bird. That would’ve been something else.

Anyway, you must be wondering why I’m posting that here it’s because (1) we had camels in tonight’s episode and (2) I personally think the joke is just slightly lamer than tonight’s episode. Goodness, what a snorefest. Even the outcome couldn’t save it. Seriously? Andy & Laura made the season. Funny how I hated them when they were in the show, but now that they’re gone.. the show has really turned boring, well for me, personally.

So tonight’s was a continuation from last week’s non-elimination leg in Dubai. The teams stayed at the Marghan Desert Camp for a mandatory rest period. I realized that the teams weren’t really that far apart. SanFran came in first. Andrew & Syeon was only 15 minutes behind. JJ & Zab were only 5 minutes behind them. And the M&Ms were 15 minutes behind them.

Anyway, they had to grab a clue smacked in the middle of the desert using a 4WD. It would’ve been much more interesting if the teams were driving the 4WDs themselves, but apparently they have appointed drivers to drive them in the sand dunes. The clue led them to the detour of Ride (ride an Ostrich and navigate their way to get 5 flags) or Seek (find a buried metal ostrich in the sand using a metal detector). Working with animals is never easy. If I was there, I would’ve definitely chose to do Seek. And I would undoubtedly end up the last team, as we witness that there are actually appointed handlers to help them to guide the ostriches. I don’t get it. That was quite lame.

Next they had to go to the Eye of the Emirates thingy (oooh I’m actually excited about the Eye on Malaysia thingy) where they had to find a clue hidden in 5 of the 42 gondolas. During the race to the Eye thingy, I noticed the camera focusing on SanFran’s taxi speed indicator (was well over 160 kmh). Not trying to be kiasu or anything but is that below the speed limit? No penalty? God, I’m starting to sound like that douche Azhar Sulaiman in the celebrity Explorace. Oh whatever.

It was a stroke of luck that Andrew & Syeon got their clue on their first try. Very impressive. The whole “I had a dream” story was nice, but a little over the top IMO. Could it possibly be an indication that they will actually win the race? Who knows. JJ&Z once again stepped up to the plate by being smart at the Eye. So were SanFran, but unfortunately, they just weren’t lucky. Seriously guys, this was a bloody crapshot. I wasn’t too happy with this challenge. Required near zero skills actually. But I’m glad Asy and JJZ were the first two to get their clues there.

Next roadblock - eat (presumably ostrich) brains. What’s the big deal. Come on. I’m kinda surprised Syeon never tasted brains before. Mmmmm sup otak.. yummy. I was really glad when JJ decided to do the roadblock cause I know for a fact she will do well. And she DID! Seriously, if there was an award for Most Improved Racer, it should go to Joe Jer. Love her. JJ did well, but Sandy.. omfg.. the beast that he is, totally breezed through the challenge! And they made the most smartest decision ever by not having Francesca do it. Wow.. I’m impressed. Marsio.. well.. at the end he says he’s not allowed to eat internal organs (maybe becaus eof his religious beliefs? I dunno).. but if I was in his position (not allowed to eat the stuff) I would’ve bowed out (although I’m sure Williams will tell me I’m a total fool for not doing it). So kudos to Marsio. Not. I also noticed Andrew also (almost?) threw up at the roadblock? Motif?

Next they had to find a clue in the home of some Sheikh Saeed, which tells them to go to Wild Wadi Waterpark. Then the final clue tells them to go to the pitstop at the Mina A’Salam Beach opposite the Burj Al-Arab (Yay! At least we get a glimpse of that awesome hotel). Andrew & Syeon got in first. Joe Jer & Zab got in second. San Fran got in 3rd. The M&Ms got in last and were eliminated. I have a lot to bitch about the M&Ms based on tonight’s episode, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m glad the top 2 were our home teams. Brava. And I do appreciate Sandy making a mockery of Alan saying something along the lines of “I dont wanna hear Alan saying.. You are team number….*long pause*…”
That was funny. But not good enough to save this lackluster episode. The editing was poor. No effort was done to hide the order of arrival after the teams finished the EYE task.Still rooting for Joe Jer & Zab for the win, but honestly speaking, the episode was comparatively boring. Let’s just hope something exciting happens in the finale.

Best part about the episode was the recap. Andy : “Oh you wanker!” LOL Priceless. The rest of the episode was rather a snoozefest. I can’t believe at final fucking four, teams are still nicey-nice to each other at this stage of the race. Maybe $100,000 means nothing to them, I don’t know.

They left India for Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. I was really hoping they’d go to the Burj Al Arab again, but I guess that’s been done in the regular TAR before. It would be awesome to have a route marker within the hotel itself, but I guess the admission fee of $150 alone became a big hinderance for the production to even consider it.

They were cautioned that there were Yield ahead, so I was expecting a mad rush for everyone to get there first. There was a buzzkill as I get my first SERVICES CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE message from Asstro during the entire airport scene, but I don’t think I missed that much. I’m guessing the teams were discussing about their seating arrangements and how they could get off the plane quickest so that they can get to the Yield first. I dunno. I got a little lost there on what happened with the taxi at the airport.

However, much to my delight, Joe Jer & Zab were the first to reach the Yield! YAY! Followed by SanFran, then the M&Ms followed closely by Andrew & Syeon. And what a letdown it was to see no one using the Yield. Somewhere along the lines I got my second SERVICES CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE message from Asstro but I don’t think I missed much. Teams had to ride a boat towards their next roadblock, which was to complete a 9 hole course at a Golf Academy. The boat ride was interesting. The M&Ms’ boat almost had a breakdown, and Andrew & Syeon actually genuinely wanted to offer them a ride. Hello? You’re at 3rd and 4th place and you’re helping out the other team? WTF? I know I know they’re in an alliance and whatnots, but do they need to be reminded of what happened to the Chos? Geez! Andrew & Syeon lost a lot of points from me last night. There was also a short dialogue between those two - Syeon : “If I hit well, I can finish faster”, Andrew : “But you won’t hit well”. Someone give him Most Encouraging Remarks Ever Award quick. *rolleyes* In perfect contrast, you can see how JJ is showing a LOT of support to our dear friend Zab.

The golf course looked intimidating to me as I’ve never actually played golf before. Everyone did a WHOLE LOT better than I thought they would. Well at least much better than I personally would anyway. Okay well, maybe except for Marsio.. but that remains  debatable. And once again, JJ proved to be a star in my eyes with her words of wisdom “Just keep inching your way” which is so true. They just needed to complete the task.. doesn’t really matter if they’re above or below par. BUT WHAT IS THAT FUCKINGLY ANNOYING 70s LOUNGE MUSIC THEY HAD PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND??? Francesca did a good work catching up with Zab (”but let her finish up first”.. again what the fuck is up with all the nicey-nice attitude? It’s Final Fucking Four!). Syeon got a hole-in-one which was bloody impressive, if I may say so. But then again, I found out later that her dad was an avid golf player. Marsio.. well… he sucked balls (as I probably would).

The next route marker was at the Dubai International Marine Club onboard a bitchin boat called the Leopard of Dubai. They then had to go to the Ski Dubai at the Emirates Mall. I loved hearing’s Zab’s determination when Joe Jer asked if she can ski and her reply was “No, but I WILL!”. Way to go! Andrew & Syeon.. well they were pissed at the taxi for parking so far away from the Ski Dubai, quite rightfully so. But why they left their backpacks in the taxi is beyond me. The malicious part of me actually wish every time a team does this, the taxi cab would drive away with all their belongings. Maybe the taxis in KL will do that. Well one can hope.

The detour was a choice between Hack (hack through a 150 kg block of ice with a pick to get their clue) or Hike (hike up a slope with a 25 kg bag strapped on their backs to get to the next clue). As they’ve been running all day, I would’ve expected all teams to go for the Hack, but JJ & Z made a good assessment that possibly by having Sandy hacking his way through the Great Wall of China next to you, that might have an impact on you mentally. So SanFran and Andrew & Syeon did the hack (they were the first two teams to complete) and JJ&Z and the M&Ms did the Hike (and they were 3rd and 4th to finish the detour respectively).

The final route marker for this leg was to find a shop called the Modern Jewellery in the Gold Souk. I’m sure it was pretty stressful for the teams but it was just plain boring for the viewers, in my opinion. In the end, SanFran got to the pitstop first (in the Margham Desert Camp), followed by Andrew & Syeon, then JoeJer and Zab and lastly Mardy and Marsio. I was not surprised that this was a non-elimination leg, as we still have one more episode before the finale.

Anyway, seriously, San Fran have no competition left in the race. The race is theirs to lose. And I just hope Joe Jer and Zabrina will at least outlast the M&Ms to be in the Final 3 (and Andrew & Syeon, if that’s possible). I miss Andy & Laura *sniff*

Once again, my daily schedule will be fucked as I once again become a slave to regular tv programming. I just realised that as much as I love watching tv shows, 80% of what I watch are downloaded off the net, simply because the local TV station is just not showing them fast enough (or AT ALL).. like Survivor, Heroes, Drawn Together, Jericho, Lost, Top Chef, Supernatural, Desperate Housewives, The Class and Ugly Betty.

The only stuff that, in my opinion, is worth watching directly from television is The Amazing Race (since we get the same episodes on the same day as our counterparts in the United States), Ghost Hunter (cause I can’t be arsed to add another program to my download list on my computer yang dah semput) and various other programs on the Travel & Discovery, BBCE and HBO shows. Other than that, personally, I don’t think regular tv has much to offer at all (although I might tune in to the locally produced Realiti show if they have a second season).

Anyway, the new season of American Idol has premiered last night on Astro Channel 70, with the first auditions in Minneapolis, Minessota. It was a 2 hour episode, and we’re getting another 2-hour episode (I think) tonight with the second round of auditions in Seattle. The show is getting more and more tacky and cheesy, but I personally love it. As we all know, the entire audition part of the show is shown solely for its comedic values. They may get tiring sometimes, but there’s no point in bitching about it. If we don’t like it, we can always not watch the show and tune in once they get down to the Final 24 or Final 12 .. which will be at least a month away, I think.

I’m not going to post any reviews till we get down to the group eliminations, as I always have. Well, I might if there’s some incedibly outrageous footage from the Auditions, but I’m not having high hopes on that. (But tuning in to the black girl forgetting her lyrics to Kiss last night was the most painful 10 minutes of my whole entire life ever).

Oh! And I managed to call into the Mix.fm’s Spot The Bull contest this morning. The questions were based on the AI episode last night so I was lucky. The options that was given to me was

1. Minneapolis was Prince’s hometown
2. Jewel was a guest judge in last night’s show
3. A total of 30,000 people auditioned last night

The bull was obviously #3 but then they asked me how many exactly.. I wasn’t sure if it was 10,000 or 100,000.. so I said “10,000?” LOL They said it was actually 100,000 and I said really? Oh well.. I knew #1 and #2 were correct anyways, and I wasn’t that particularly good with figures. LOL. I knew the judges whittled those 100,000 people down to 17 people at the end of the day though. That’s like 0.1% chance! Ni baru lah one in a million. Anyway, won a CD which was nice. I was just glad I didn’t make a fool of myself again, like I did during my totally embarassing Rockstar radio-call in a few months ago. LOL

Article copyrighted by Gary Levin, USA TODAY

And they’re off! Producers chose the all-stars returning to The Amazing Race from more than 200 former contestants. Seven of the show’s 10 seasons are represented. Back: Eric and Danielle, left, Oswald and Danny, Uchenna and Joyce, and Drew and Kevin. Middle: Bill and Joe, left, Teri and Ian, David and Mary, and John and Jill. Front: Dustin and Kandice, left, Charla and Mirna, and Amber and Rob.

The Amazing Race is back with its first all-star edition as 11 teams of competitors go on their second world trek.

CBS’ three-time Emmy winner returns Feb. 18 (Sundays, 8 ET/PT) with teams from seven of its 10 seasons, to be unveiled today. From among the 200 or so previous contestants, “it was very hard to pick favorites,” executive producer Bertram Van Munster says. Producers chose partly “in terms of where their life went” since they left the show. “They’re not necessarily the winners, but character-wise, they’re all-stars in our book.”

Only one team — Uchenna and Joyce Agu — was a past winner, in Season 7. But others are standouts: height-challenged Charla Faddoul and cousin Mirna Hindoyan; Joe Baldassare and Bill Bartek (the first season’s “team Guido”); Rob and Amber Mariano, who parlayed their Survivor stint into marriage and reality-TV careers; and Kevin O’Connor and Drew Feinberg, amiable, bald best friends from Season 1. Also repeating the Race are two teams from the latest season: coal miner David Conley and wife Mary, and beauty queens Dustin Seltzer and Kandice Pelletier.

Also in the hunt: Eric Sanchez and Danielle Turner, who competed on separate teams in Season 9 but later became a couple; Oswald Mendez and Danny Jimenez (Season 2’s “Team Cha-Cha-Cha”); John Pietanza and Jill Aquilino, a now-split couple from Season 3; and Teri and Ian Pollack, the oldest couple to finish as runners-up (she’s now 53, he’s 54), also in Season 3.

How did Race challenge contestants who knew the drill? “We had to throw them curveball after curveball, because they all thought they knew what we were doing again,” Van Munster says. So the 45,000-mile, 28-day race, which ended Dec. 19, sent them “from extreme cold to extreme heat,” a desert in northern Chile to “borderline South Pole” in Antarctica.

Van Munster says he and co-creator Elise Doganieri had “reservations” about an all-star edition, but he’s happy with the results.

“There is a lot of friction right off the bat” between teams, he says. “I’m confident we laid something on the table that will be very unexpected, and story-wise, there were plenty of fireworks.”

CHARLA AND MIRNA FOR THE WIN BABY!!!!!!!!!!!1 <3 <3 <3

View Charla & Mirna on innertube now

Click here to go to the Official Amazing Race All Star website

He might already have US Citizenship.. but he’s Malaysian born. LUCKY BASTARD.. but GO YAU-MAN!!!!!

(clik on the image to go to the Survivor : Fiji website).

The Amazing Race All Star advertisement amazingly and quite positively had me orgasming with excitement. It’s a must see. I don’t know if the All Star curse will continue (as per Survivor and Big Brother where the most detestable person imaginable wins), but I have a feeling TAR All Star is going to be good. So you bitches better be tuning in this February.

On to Amazing Race Asia Episode 10 which was a continuation from last week. I’m not really sure why the teams would even be surprised as the clue that they received specifically said “head down to bla bla bla where Allen will be waiting for you”. No mention of a pitstop. So it must’ve been quite a buzzkill for the producers when the M&Ms and JoeJer & Zab said they knew it wasn’t a pitstop. Francesca was mightily pissed when Allen asked about the betelnut roadblock. Who wouldn’t? I know I would. And especially since it wasn’t a pitstop. Stop the idle chit fucking chats and give them the damn clues, Allen. And might I add that all the eating jokes with the M&Ms are so one dimensional and it’s getting way too stale. Anyone surprised at all that they asked for Dunkin Donuts at the train station? But kudos to them for having an inch of self control when passing by some ripe mangoes on the streets. No no no! LOL

Anyway, they needed to board a train to New Delhi from Calcutta on a 19 hour train ride. Yowza! All teams were cautioned there was a Yield ahead, so everyone got to strategizing and planning on Yielding AndyLau. (although I think JoeJer&Zab weren’t let in on the plans). The race to get to the Yield was bloody exciting, I telll you. I didn’t actually expect SanFran to reach there first, and JUST in the nick of time to Yield AndyLau. It was devilishly fun to watch AndyLau go apeshit and have a minor meltdown for being Yielded. They whined and bitched about being yielded, but that’s just part of the game innit? It’s a game, you have a strategy, they have theirs. Can’t really blame SanFran for wanting to yield you guys, can you?

The detour was between Deliver and Donkey. Personally I probably would’ve taken the Deliver detour, where teams had to transfer 4 gunny sacks of dried chilli at the Spice Market. The other task, however, required them to load their donkeys with several kilos of onions and lead the donkeys to the Cycle Market or some shit. Working with animals can be very risky. Mmm hello? MY OX IS BROKEN!!! Does that not ring a bell with you people? But I guess they’re lucky to get donkeys that were not really being asses (pun intended). Seemed that SanFran, AndyLau and JZ pretty much breezed through that one. And was it JoeJer who said “Speak to him (the donkey) in Tamil”. OMGWTFLMAO!!! I think Asyeon and M&Ms could’ve done their task with the chilli much quicker had they (1) found the place immediately (2) did not deliver the chilli to the wrong place. I really have to give credit to AndyLau for almost catching up with SanFran even though they were yielded.

The next roadblock was making dung cakes out of cow turd. Yummy. There were excessive drama on getting the auto rickshaw instead of the other one, but that actually helped AndyLau in the lead. I was actually quite impressed. Then the M&Ms followed (I was also impressed they made it this quick!) and went on to equating the dung cakes to pizzas. Hmm. Not surprised. Asyeon followed suit with SanFran trailing behind them. JZ came in rather late to the roadblock and I found myself cussing as much as Francesca. Andy had some hilarious lines here “Just imagine that’s (the wall to be smacked with the wet cow shit) Francesca’s face”. LOL. But then he went on and on and on and on. just shut the bloody fuck up, you tosser. God! But that’s still nothing compared to this guy on the new Apprentice LA show (Frank, who just won’t shut the fuck up. ever.)

Surprisingly.. these are the order of the teams that finished the roadblock (1) Andrew & Syeon (2) Sandy & Francesca (3) Andy & Laura (4) Mardi & Marsio (5) Zabrina & Joe Jer. Compare that to the order that they came into the roadblock. Interesting, no? Even though JJ&Z were still last to leave, I have to say JJ stepped it the hell up. WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!! I love her. She really is like my supposed Amazing Race partner (no, not you, neo.. LOL). She will step up to the plate and complete the challenges without much whining, and I am just there to provide the commentaries with my colourful language. And how great was it, that they actually managed to ’steal’ AndyLau’s taxi. I giggled a bit when he cussed “Oh you wanker!”. Haven’t heard that in a while. Well what can you say? Karma’s a bitch. Btw, how the hell did Raju turn into Roger in the subtitles?????

In the end, SanFran came in first (along with a shameless plug on Air Asia’s goholiday package that they won.. langkawi je? Pfft.) The M&Ms came in second. Asyeon came in third, bawling like a baby because she was in pain (I kinda felt bad for her). Then JoeZab. Hurrah! And finally AndyLau in last place. Again, notice the order in which they arrived compared to the order that they finished the SHIT roadblock. It sure seems that it was a really close race and everyone was within minutes of each other.

Lots of actions going on, lots of tensed moments, lots of position shifts, lots of nerve wrecking moment (especially for the JoeZab fans!!), lots of memorable quotes and lots of cussing. What more can you ask for? This may be the best episode so far, and on par, if not even better than, even the good episodes of the regular TAR. Good job editors!

A final note though.. I am going to miss AndyLau from this program. They are portrayed as the villains, but in all honesty, their gameplay is a lot like what I personally would’ve played like if I was ever on the show. They provided good drama, and they were pretty good racers.

Anyway, if the M&Ms are eliminated next, it will be one of the best Final Three ever! Joe Jer & Zabrina for the win, baby!!!

Just thought I’d go for a catchy title for this entry. Since there’s not much to talk about (I seriously can’t be bothered to write a recap for the Survivor Cook Islands finale) right now, I might as well write about yet another reality show - Top Chef. Not to be confused with the Iron Chef that we’re accustomed to from that asshat of a tv station, namely ntv7, Top Chef is a cooking reality show where 15 top chefs from around America battle it out each week to win a state of the art Kenmore kitchen, an editorial feature in the Food & Wine magazine, $100,000 and the title of Top Chef.

The show’s being featured on Bravo TV at the US, the same channel that proudly brought us Queer Eye and reruns of Project Runway. So how is this different from the other reality shows? Other than its setting in the kitchen, market and other food related tasks, it’s not that different really. There’s a quickfire challenge where the winner is granted immunity, someone gets voted out each week, and plenty of drama. Believe me. In this season (Season 2) there’s one douchebag that is possibly an even bigger asshole than the infamous Johnny Fairplay from Survivor Pearl Islands.

And if anyone can rival Allen Wu for his terrible, terrible performance as a reality show host, it’s Padma Lakshmi. It’s like she’s reading from cuecards even when she’s having a ‘normal conversation’ with the other judges. Bitch. Anyway, if you love reality shows and cooking, or simply LOVE watching cookshows and pretentious food being served (oh come on, a little pretentioun is okay in small doses), then this show is definitely FOR YOU! I really hope one of the channels on Astro will carry this show soon, but if anyone’s interested, I have copies of the episode on my HDD.

The challenges are interesting, there’s always a theme every week. For this season, we’ve had ‘flambe’ themes, ’sushi’ themes, ‘amouse bouche’ themes bla bla bla. This week (we’re down to 7 contestants) the chefs has to prepare a seven course meal and each must be based on their interpretations of the Seven Deadly Sins. Interesting no?

Anyway, just thought I’d post the pictures of the meals that have been prepared on this last episode. You can click on the name of the meal - it will be linked to the recipes which is posted on the BravoTV website (it does contain spoiler for the show though - you will know who’s left in the Final 7 of the competition)

Wrath: Spicy Shrimp Ceviche with Chili Pepper Popcorn

Sloth: Trio Roasted Soups: Carrot Fennel, Onion, & Red Pepper with Beet

Envy: Trout and Salmon with a Basil Aioli and Asparagus

Greed: Bouillabaisse with a Thai Curry Green Broth

Pride: Roasted Chicken with Vegetables

Lust: A Cherry Tart Topped with Cherry Foam and Cherry Gelee

Gluttony: Rich Chocolate Cake with Funnel Cake and Creme Anglaise

Off to India this time, the most visited country in the world for The Amazing Race program (aside from the US, of course). It’s a shame that the arrogant models were eliminated long before they reach their own turf. A shame? Who am I kidding? Anyway, since this was a to-be-continued episode, I’ll write a short recap of the entire leg instead of comments of each individual teams.

The teams started off from where we last saw them in Krabi, and headed off to Bangkok and then to Calcutta, India. The thing that realy surprised me was fniding out that after taking the Fast Forward last week, there were only 10 minutes separating the M&Ms and the second team. I was only surprised to see how amazingly incompetent they were. I may sound harsh, but I don’t care. Again, we are being shown one of the Ms gorging down on a sandwich. I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt and blame it on editing, I mean come on, don’t the other teams eat as well? So why did the editors keep on showing them eat, eat, eat? Is that all there is to their ’story arc’, as we so fondly call it in Survivor?

Anyway, teams fly into Calcutta, and Francesca’s initial comments bothered me with her terrible generalizations on India. It’s not fair, I’m not from India, but even if it’s true, I thought that was highly un-Politically Correct of her (and to say such things on national tv, wtf?). So their first stop was the Molali Church. It was actually kind of nice to see some of the teams accidentally went to the place where Mother Teresa was buried (nice because we get a glimpse of it). Some of the teams had reservations about lighting the candle (because it was ‘against’ their religion like Andrew & Syeon) and some flatly can’t be bothered (Andy & Laura). I don’t know, personally, I don’t think it’s harmful in anyway to show the gesture, but that’s just me.

The roadblock was to shine even different pairs of shoes. How fucking original is that? It was weird, how they actually allowed (what I assume to be) leather slippers t be polished as well. Now, that was definitely a first. I thought Andrew’s gesture to ‘donate’ their meagre polishing earnings to their ‘tutor’ was pretty nice. JJ & Zabrina got it right by actually getting some direct help from the locals (what we Sucksters fondly call as FERNS. We <3 FERNS) when they almost lost their way. They not only got one, but TWO skinny children in the taxi with them ("How many can we take??" LOL). The M&Ms on the other hand whined that the five minutes walk away was “too far” and gasped OMG when they found out about the polishing task as if the roadblock was to find a wooden block that is more kayu than Allen Wu.

Next stop was feasting on the Bengali food at the Aaheli Restaurant. I was bothered by Francesca’s comments before, but I was pretty annoyed with her “I’m not planning on eating ANYTHING in India” comments. Bloody generalization much? I mean, I get that some street food may be laced with bacteria and stuff, but don’t we get there everywhere? Whatever. She lost a lot of points from me this episode. And was it her who was planning on to “hide the food under the napkin”? Cheaters never win, but we’ll soon see. And at one point she was also pretty pissed because her taxi driver was stolen by Andy & Laura. Even though that was kinda mean, I personally thought in the context of this game that was fair. If anyone’s at fault, it’s their ‘perfect driver’ for not keeping his word to Sandy & Francesca.

Anyway, back to the Bengali food fest. That looked a LOT. I was not at all surprised that Joe Jer were quick to finish her portion. Seriously, she is a LOT like my supposed TAR partner (no, don’t get me wrong. this is a compliment to both of them. Seriously, I’m not being sarcastic for once). Poor Zabrina, it was hard to see that small figure forced to gorge down all the food until there were tears in her eyes (I’m guessing from all the puking). The M&Ms.. what can I say. Mintak nasik tambah.. boleh? Add more sugar to the sweetened dessert. Surprised? Man, they have fulfilled and acted out every single fat stereotype there is in the book, and it has culminated with this eating challenge.

They.are.done.and.have.served.their.purpose.on.this.show.

After the eating roadblock, there was another token retarded equalizer at the Saree Boutique. Carry - where they had to carry milk jugs on their heads to fill up a basin, or Count - where they had to count the betelnuts in a large bowl. For some reason, I immediately remembered of the counting detour in Ikea from one of the past TAR seasons and how extremely difficult that was if you don’t really concentrate. I would go nuts (pun intended). Personally, I know I won’t be able to do the counting detour. It would’ve driven me totally insane.

However, all the teams, except from Andy & Laura, took the counting detour. Sandy & Francesca had the hardest time. I loved how JJ & Zabrina distracted those two with their loud counting. Nice job, girls. Andy & Laura did the relatively easier (IMO) detour with the milk carrying, but imagine your shirt getting soaked in milk, and then have that fermenting under the hot Indian sun. Eww.. they must’ve been totally rank after that.

What follows next was a total buzzkill.. and a total sense of deja-vu. Allen describes that the Kolay Market or whatever, would be the place “where the teams will be checking in”. Notice something? Yeah, no mention of a pitstop. And again, like in another TAR season’s TO BE CONTINUED episode, the ‘cliffhanger’ was also done on a rooftop of a seedy building. If I didn’t know any better, I think it was a TBC episode in India as well.

And finally, the turd icing on the monkey faeces cake was Allen’s final delivery of the night to Andy & Laura :

“Andy and Laura, you are THE …….. first team to arrive”

I fucking swear that is the most retarded emphasized word and most idiotic pause in a sentence ever uttered on a television show. EVER. How the fuck does he get away with that? Weren’t they producers around when they were filming? For flying fuck’s sake. I’m not gonna stop bitching until they replace this guy.

Anyway, Andy & Laura got in first …. to the check in mat (see how fucking annoying that sentence is? I even wanna strangle myself). Will they maintain their lead? We’ll see. I did, however, loved Sandy’s summation of Andy’s character “Behind all the laughter and the smile, deep down inside you can see the malice behind it”. LOL. Truer words have never been spoken. Can’t put it any better myself. Brava Sandy. Brava,

I’ve never been a big fan of writing up resolutions, cause I know they don’t mean squat. But after reading Din’s review of his 2006 resolutions, I feel kinda inspired. God knows these will all be meaningless, but it’s always fun to make lists, no? For all I know, this post will eventually be recycled as one of my Shit List posts soon. So here goes :

(1) Finish up at least a chapter for my novel-in-progress every month

Yes yes yes.. that goddamn Daud In Distress is putting me in distress. FUCK YOU, DAUD. Anyway, I’ve decided to be more realistic. Personally the whole NaNoWriMo thingy puts too much of a pressure. I might still attempt it this year, but not on my precious baby. This baby needs careful thought and time put into it. So, we’ll start a chapter a month. That seems plausible.

(2) Finish reading at least one novel a month

I’m currently trying to read two novels a month. One novel lies on my workdesk in the office. And the other lies on my bedside table. Theoretically, I can always squeeze in 30-45 minutes everyday for these novels, but there’s always.. I don’t know. I would like to say ‘distraction’, but it’s not. It’s just excuses. There’s internet connection on my workdesk, and there’s also internet connection on my bedside table. That’s the culprit, right there. And don’t ask me to read on my 1.5 hours commute to/from work everyday, that’s time for my iPod.

(3) Actually send in application form and video for TAR Asia

I have actually filled in 75% of the application form, but we ran out of time, trying to beat the deadline. We needed more time to think of a catchy and interesting application video. By hook or by crook, I’ll make damn sure that we send in an application if there’s going to be a Season 2 of TAR Asia. I will still be putting in ‘Lucy Lawless’ to describe my team mate, but I’m still undecided on choosing which 3 adjectives to describe myself. Judgemental? Foul mouthed? Lardass? Slightly camp? Obnoxious? God.. this is impossible.

(4) Save and put away 20% of my salary (untouched till next year)

Now this actually seems plausible, putting away 20%, since my car loan only has a few payments left. I’ll be a free man soon. FREE I TELL YA!!! But then again, there’s still that fucking house loan to settle. Anyway, I’ll try to put away that 20%.. but letting it stay untouched will be the most hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. My prediction for this is that I will fail miserably.

(5) Try out at least 20 new dining places (!!)

Okay, kinda contradicts with my number (4) plan but what the hell. Twenty seems like a reasonable number to spread out over a year. And with the abundant food blogs that we have around, I’m 100% sure this will not.be.a.problem.whatsoever.

(6) Lose 10 kilos (sure, why not)

Sorta contradicts with my number (5) plan but well, since everyone’s doing it nowadays.. *rolleyes*. It’s not impossible though. I think I just have to eat sensibly. But I’m still sticking to the no-gym rule. Hell, if I can lose 18 kilos in 6 months before, I sure as hell can lose 10 kilos in 12 months!

(7) Stay at my current workplace and not look for new jobs

Yeah one of the more toughest challenge for me, personally. I get bored quickly, but so far, things are working out okay. Granted that everything ain’t exactly hunky dory over here, I still get to go back from work at 5pm sometimes (only to be called up at 2 and 3 am in the fucking morning).. but everywhere you go, you’re still gonna get some form of shit from work no matter what company you are. If it’s not shit, it ain’t work. So I might as well try and stay here in hoping that I will get some sort of bonus this year.

(8) Hold at least one awesome party at my new apartment

The challenge is not in holding an awesome party itself. The challenge is preparing the awesome environment in my brand new apartment. First step, getting that dream kitchen of mine in place. So that means more money.. which in turn contradicts my number (4) plan. Fucker. Well in any case, I will hold a decent housewarming party when the apartment is done, with or without that damn kitchen.

(9) Cancel off one credit card

If I can do this one, I will be most happy (forget the fact that I have eleventy billion other credit cards). This will be hard to do, but not entirely impossible. In fact, it’s a must do.

(10) Stick to at least 50% of my resolution

Hope springs eternal, eh?

I hadn’t plan on starting the earlier post at 3 am in the morning, and it unintentionally dragged on for quite a bit. I’m so sorry. Anyway, here the continuation of my 2006 in review… well kinda (Part 2).. the remaining six of the Top Ten Highlights of 2006.

Food Blogs & Books

Again, a brilliant year for local food blogs. Blogs like Masak Masak have become my daily staples, while so many others are quickly becoming part of my diet too (they’re all listed at Boo’s blog for easy reference). What I love about these blogs are it gives you ideas on what to eat and where to eat. There are just too many options! And these people go to a lot of places. A lot. They’re all doing fre community service for the rest of us. The reviews (and especially the pictures) would usually help me decide if a place would be worth visiting or not. So kudos to all of our local food bloggers. *applause* (But where do they find the time and money to go to all these places, are beyond me. I’m not complaining though).

And, I have successfully managed to increase the total number of cook books that I have to 400% this year. Soon, my cook books alone will occupy 30% of my total books that shall adorn my ambitiously berangan wall to wall bookcase. Thanks to the many many warehouse sale that we’ve been getting this year. I must’ve gone to at least 4 different ones this year (MPH, Times, Pay Lesss Books and MPH again) and surprisingly enough there are good cookbooks at bargain prices. I have recently discovered MPH is selling quite a number of new attractive cookbooks at RM9.90 and 19.90 which is a steal, and Borders is currently displaying a number of wonderfully thick ones at its bargain corner for RM19.90 and RM29.90. Sure it’s not Nigella or Oliver, but you don’t get books full with recipes and chokeful of pictures at that prices, man, not new ones at least. So tonnes of cookbooks, but the total of recipes that I’ve tried from all those? Three. Yep. Not that it matters to me though. Cookbooks are there to give me ideas, and they are just fun to flick through. I love cookbooks, but don’t go buying me one for my birthday without cross referencing with me first, cause I’ll just end up with two copies of the same book. *glare* (you know who you are).

Survivor

Exile Island and Cook Islands (which they should really rename as Candice Island) were fun to watch. But seriously, that fucking hidden immunity idol must go. Sure it makes the game more interesting. At first. Not any more. It didn’t serve it’s purpose for Terry, but it did for Yul. They both got into the Final Three, but neither hidden immunity idols were being put into play. Either way, I’m not a fan of that thing. But oh no, they had to use it again for the next Survivor : Fiji. And we’re getting not one, but TWO fucking hidden immunity idols this time around. With a twist of course *eyeroll*. If I had to venture a guess, I’m gonna say the hidden immunity idol will only be valid for the first person that uses it. Oh who cares.

Hightlights.. well it was nice getting a two minute shout out on the Armchair Survivor podcast about my Opening Credits speculation. Jonathan DID get totally singed by the other survivors, and Candice DID jump ship, but I got the winner all wrong (I thought it was going to be Ozzy - thank God I was wrong). Other than that, oooh the Survivor : Melanesia game. Started out with 32 players, and I ended up in the Final Two. Yes. Me. Yeah that fucker was too lazy to finish up the episodes, but I did end up in the Final Two, believe it or not. Unfortunately though, I lost on a 5-4 vote. It was mainly because I didn’t actually attend the night of the Final Tribal Council. LOL. But hey, even then I got 4 votes. I would’ve totally won the game in a landslide, but the juries were all bitchy nd pissy about ‘not respecting the game’. Hello? I had a severity One problem to attend to at the time. But the game was sweet. My game really got into gear at the Final 8, when my trusted ally got voted out. I played my cards right, and totally turned the table at Final 5. After winning the Final 4 immunity challenge (the one and only immunity challenge that I actually won), I knew I was going to win the game - cause they would’ve all picked me to go to the Final Two. Who knew I was going to have a Severity One problem on the exact day and time the Final Tribal Council was going to be? Anyway, I’m not complaining for not winning the game. It was an awesome awesome experience.

Oooh, and another Survivor highlight this year, thanks to Exile Island and Cook Islands, my buffs collection has grown to over 30 this year

TV Shows

I am so over Lost because of it’s fucked up schedule and it’s storyline that’s sending the viewers going on and on around in circles, and the never ending love triangle between Jack, Kate and Sawyer. Get a fucking room already! Season 3 has started, but went on hiatus after Episode 6. It will resume in February, I might change my mind then (like I did after the Hostage Incident episode of Desperate Housewives - man that was an extremely powerful episode) but for now, yeah I’m not that a big fan of Lost. Not exactly sure when the show lost me, but I guess they’re adding more and more mysteries without actually resolving anything or telling us what we don’t already know.Screw you JJ Abrams. Working with that psycho asswipe Tom Cruse must’ve rubbed something off on you too.

Goodbye Lost, and welcome Heroes! Yes, the show is as good as it’s hyped up to be. If you need a short summary of what the show is about.. well, think X-Men without the cartoonish effects and the outlandish costumes. The characters in the drama aren’t exactly parading with their superpowers (yet) but still struggling to find out what the hell is going on with their superhuman abilities. Half the fun of watching the show is finding out what special powers that the ‘heroes’ possess, so I will not spoil it for you guys here. The good news for us Malaysian viewers is that Star World will finally be showing the show over here. Yay!

Other than those.. other highlights…. *cricket sounds* nothing worth mentioning. One In A Million was a total meh-fest. American Idol - I personally think the wrong person won. The Amazing Races - yet another mactor win. I’ve started to watch the reality show Top Chef and I’m still currently enjoying it, so there might still be hope. And the Amazing Race Asia, of course, which turns out a whole lot better than I expected. Oh and for my rants on the reality show, I received my very first blog award ever, thanks to suanie! Thanks, girl!

As for scripted drama, Supernatural is getting pretty good in it’s second season, especially after what happened in the first episode. I had faith in Jericho at first, that it might be one of those post-apocalyptic shows like The Stand, but the show’s started to lose out on me after it’s many many weak loose ends (not just talking about technologically, but just the social aspects between the town’s residents). I’m starting to lose interest, but I think I might still give it a go. Drawn Together still makes me laugh like no other shows can. I still wish Susan Myers dead everytime I see her character on Desperate Housewives. And that’s pretty much it, really.

OH! And how could I forget. I know the finale was shown in the States in 2005, but HBO Asia just showed the Six Feet Under season finale. And that was the most impressive season finale of a drama series that I have ever watched. So powerful. So poignant. It actually made me cry. It did! Watching the clip for the first time, I was sobbing away like nobody’s business, I’m so glad I watched it on my own. A brillant ending to a great series. Are we ever going to be blessed with a top quality show like this? One can only hope. Here’s the clip (ignore the first 20 seconds of the clip.. that was kinda cheesy)

Relationships

I am NOT a relationship-oriented person. Anyone that truly knows me can tell you that. But someone came along and have almost restored my faith that being in one may not be the worst thing in the world. I’m not about to get all sappy and goo goo ga ga over it, I mean, I still need my own space, bitch, but it’s nice to know that the door is not permanently shut on this avenue that I used to had. And that is all I’m going to say for now. I am still a cold hearted stoned asshole, so watch out.

The Condo

A supah secret EZ Board society that totally restored my faith (okay, I need to find a new phrase) in posting again in the Splinterverse. I was accepted into the Condo midway through the year, and it totally restored my posting mojo again. Not much can be elaborated here, cause you know.. everything is hush hush there and you know.. they’ll kill me if I spill anything to the public. My real condo though will be my highlight of this year, I’m sure.

Turning Thirty

This was supposed to be a big deal. But I’m just not feeling it. So I’ve turned thirty last year. So what? Some people feels the need to do something drastic with their lives, like.. you know get a second wife or some lame shit that will supposedly justify your absurd actions. But I honestly don’t sense or feel anything different about my life. Should I? I dunno. Age is just a number, well to me at least. Anyway, I have actually planned myself a treat for turning thirty but that’s not gonna be till March this year. A two-week vacation in Australia. Too much? This has actually been long overdue, so now’s a good time as any.

So what next? I’ll probably make myself a list of new years resolution (download less porn will never ever be one of them) which I most probably will not keep. Anyway, Happy New Year everyone. Hope you had a brilliant 2006 and a more exceptional year ahead of you.