Culturally Preconditioned

The Amazing Race All Star advertisement amazingly and quite positively had me orgasming with excitement. It’s a must see. I don’t know if the All Star curse will continue (as per Survivor and Big Brother where the most detestable person imaginable wins), but I have a feeling TAR All Star is going to be good. So you bitches better be tuning in this February.

On to Amazing Race Asia Episode 10 which was a continuation from last week. I’m not really sure why the teams would even be surprised as the clue that they received specifically said “head down to bla bla bla where Allen will be waiting for you”. No mention of a pitstop. So it must’ve been quite a buzzkill for the producers when the M&Ms and JoeJer & Zab said they knew it wasn’t a pitstop. Francesca was mightily pissed when Allen asked about the betelnut roadblock. Who wouldn’t? I know I would. And especially since it wasn’t a pitstop. Stop the idle chit fucking chats and give them the damn clues, Allen. And might I add that all the eating jokes with the M&Ms are so one dimensional and it’s getting way too stale. Anyone surprised at all that they asked for Dunkin Donuts at the train station? But kudos to them for having an inch of self control when passing by some ripe mangoes on the streets. No no no! LOL

Anyway, they needed to board a train to New Delhi from Calcutta on a 19 hour train ride. Yowza! All teams were cautioned there was a Yield ahead, so everyone got to strategizing and planning on Yielding AndyLau. (although I think JoeJer&Zab weren’t let in on the plans). The race to get to the Yield was bloody exciting, I telll you. I didn’t actually expect SanFran to reach there first, and JUST in the nick of time to Yield AndyLau. It was devilishly fun to watch AndyLau go apeshit and have a minor meltdown for being Yielded. They whined and bitched about being yielded, but that’s just part of the game innit? It’s a game, you have a strategy, they have theirs. Can’t really blame SanFran for wanting to yield you guys, can you?

The detour was between Deliver and Donkey. Personally I probably would’ve taken the Deliver detour, where teams had to transfer 4 gunny sacks of dried chilli at the Spice Market. The other task, however, required them to load their donkeys with several kilos of onions and lead the donkeys to the Cycle Market or some shit. Working with animals can be very risky. Mmm hello? MY OX IS BROKEN!!! Does that not ring a bell with you people? But I guess they’re lucky to get donkeys that were not really being asses (pun intended). Seemed that SanFran, AndyLau and JZ pretty much breezed through that one. And was it JoeJer who said “Speak to him (the donkey) in Tamil”. OMGWTFLMAO!!! I think Asyeon and M&Ms could’ve done their task with the chilli much quicker had they (1) found the place immediately (2) did not deliver the chilli to the wrong place. I really have to give credit to AndyLau for almost catching up with SanFran even though they were yielded.

The next roadblock was making dung cakes out of cow turd. Yummy. There were excessive drama on getting the auto rickshaw instead of the other one, but that actually helped AndyLau in the lead. I was actually quite impressed. Then the M&Ms followed (I was also impressed they made it this quick!) and went on to equating the dung cakes to pizzas. Hmm. Not surprised. Asyeon followed suit with SanFran trailing behind them. JZ came in rather late to the roadblock and I found myself cussing as much as Francesca. Andy had some hilarious lines here “Just imagine that’s (the wall to be smacked with the wet cow shit) Francesca’s face”. LOL. But then he went on and on and on and on. just shut the bloody fuck up, you tosser. God! But that’s still nothing compared to this guy on the new Apprentice LA show (Frank, who just won’t shut the fuck up. ever.)

Surprisingly.. these are the order of the teams that finished the roadblock (1) Andrew & Syeon (2) Sandy & Francesca (3) Andy & Laura (4) Mardi & Marsio (5) Zabrina & Joe Jer. Compare that to the order that they came into the roadblock. Interesting, no? Even though JJ&Z were still last to leave, I have to say JJ stepped it the hell up. WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!! I love her. She really is like my supposed Amazing Race partner (no, not you, neo.. LOL). She will step up to the plate and complete the challenges without much whining, and I am just there to provide the commentaries with my colourful language. And how great was it, that they actually managed to ’steal’ AndyLau’s taxi. I giggled a bit when he cussed “Oh you wanker!”. Haven’t heard that in a while. Well what can you say? Karma’s a bitch. Btw, how the hell did Raju turn into Roger in the subtitles?????

In the end, SanFran came in first (along with a shameless plug on Air Asia’s goholiday package that they won.. langkawi je? Pfft.) The M&Ms came in second. Asyeon came in third, bawling like a baby because she was in pain (I kinda felt bad for her). Then JoeZab. Hurrah! And finally AndyLau in last place. Again, notice the order in which they arrived compared to the order that they finished the SHIT roadblock. It sure seems that it was a really close race and everyone was within minutes of each other.

Lots of actions going on, lots of tensed moments, lots of position shifts, lots of nerve wrecking moment (especially for the JoeZab fans!!), lots of memorable quotes and lots of cussing. What more can you ask for? This may be the best episode so far, and on par, if not even better than, even the good episodes of the regular TAR. Good job editors!

A final note though.. I am going to miss AndyLau from this program. They are portrayed as the villains, but in all honesty, their gameplay is a lot like what I personally would’ve played like if I was ever on the show. They provided good drama, and they were pretty good racers.

Anyway, if the M&Ms are eliminated next, it will be one of the best Final Three ever! Joe Jer & Zabrina for the win, baby!!!