Culturally Preconditioned

Someone linked me to this “Which Heroes Character Are You?” quiz. Reminded me of my previous “Which Lost Alter Ego Are You“. I know some people might think Heroes is overrated (you know who you are *glare* LOL), but I still love the show. So much. VERY much. (If only they’d killed that Suresh fella who can’t act to save his frickin life). But I can’t say I’m quite pleased with my results.

Isaac Mendez You scored 16 Idealism, 41 Nonconformity, 45 Nerdiness

I need painting supplies. Congratulations, you’re Isaac Mendez! You’re a talented, creative, artistic soul with a few demons you’ve been working to overcome. You are really passionate person and you are not afraid to express yourself or your emotions. Your best quality: Creativity and artistic talent. Your worst quality: A possibly addictive or indulgent personality

SO Which Heroes character are you?

Well the guys were considerable better this week, but that’s not really saying much. I still think this is the year for the girls to win. It would be a travesty if anyone from tonight gets the title this year.

1. Phil (Missing You by John Waite)
Oh great, a dedication to the Army. The performance was buetter than the best male performance last week, but like I said, that’s not saying much. I’m not a big fan yet, but at least his vocals are better than Egghead Daughtry. Just my two cents :p  6 out of 10.

2. Jared (Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye)
Say what you want about this song, but I must be the only person on the planet who absolutely hate it. Sexiest song evah? Not for me. Jared’s falsettos were pretty good. It was cool, but I just really really do not like this song. 7 out of 10

3. AJ (Feeling Good by the Pussycat Dolls or whoever they covered)
Okay here’s the thing. He’s got a good voice, but I don’t like the camp performances. I think would totally love it if he was doing a drag performance though. 5.5 out of 10.

4. Sanjaya (Steppin’ Out With My Baby by Irving Berlin)
Ick! I hate his perpetual Cheshire Cat grin, almost as much as I hate the retarded Astro Raja Lawak advertisments (what absolute filth!). Again, he’s got a good voice, but I don’t like to see him perform. And the performance was just really below average. 4 out of 10.

5. Chris Sligh (Trouble by Ray LaMontagne)
Can I just say his wife is hot? Nice voice. Nothing exceptional. And actually borderlining on just plain boring. 6 out of 10.

6. Nick (Fever by Peggy Lee)
What is this? Big Bad week? I actually like the hoarseness in his voice. But again, nothing really special, and the ending was a bit dodgy. 6 out of 10.

7. Blake (Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai)
Keane? Jamiroquai? OMG I totally love this guy for his song choices. Nott he best male vocals, but he’s definitely marketable. It was really nice to hear him beatboxing for a bit (and more importantly not overdoing it). This was a self indulgent performance but it worked. 6.5 out of 10

8. Brandon (Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper)
He fucked up the lyrics and the performance bored me to tears. I hate it when people kill this song (but nobody’s done worse than Nadia Turner’s take on this classic). 5 out of 10.

9. Chris Richardson (Geek In The Pink by Jason Mraz)
This guy is so similar to Blake. Not the best vocally, but he’s marketable, AND I love his song choices. He;s not a vocal powerhouse but neither is Jason Mraz, and he knows it. That was pretty hot. 6.5 out of 10.

10. BearManPig aka Sundunce. (Mustang Sally by Wilson Pickett)
Well that’s what people are calling him at Sucks. Now why do all the fatties on the show get the hawt women? Grrr. Well at least he sung an upbeat song. But… mehh. 4 out of 10.

Don’t really care who stays or go from this group. I’m glad I was wriong about Rudy not making it through (I thought America would go for the looks). His encore performance last week was excruciating to watch. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD… I never noticed Fantashia lisped so much until I heard her perform last week. Shishta shishta.. for fucks sake., is this bitch for real? Anyway, prediction for this week’s boot .. gotta be Brandon and hopefully ManBearPig.

So we’re down to 10 teams after Jon Vito & Jill got eliminated last week. I was pretty certain it was going to be a non-elimination leg since they only have 11 teams on this All Star season, but apparently I was wrong. This week, teams fly from Ecuador to Santiago, Chile. Speaking of Santiago… Boomquisha Santiago aka Boomie aka Jennifer Hudson won an OSCAR!! OMGWTFYAY! Personally, I didn’t actually think her performance warrants an Oscar. It was really good, but Oscar worthy? I’m not so sure. But I’m really glad she won anyway. YAY FOR BOOMIE! And speaking of Boomie… remember the bitch who refused to clap for her during American Idol? Her cousin Whatevia Santiago?

Well I guess hell has finally frozen over cause take a look at this :

What a way to get off track, eh? (AND FUCKING PAN’S LABYRINTH WAS ROBBED!! FUCK YOU OSCAR VOTERS)

Anyway, the show started with them showing Drew requiring some medical attention because of the mountain sickness. Why did they even bother to show that? It’s not like the man hasn’t completely become a super ass already. Romber was shown in a confessional about their strategy.. which was to make other people paranoid and distracted, which I have to admit, is a brilliant strategy cause it worked! The other teams weren’t focusing on their own task, and it sure seemed like everyone was obsessed with Romber. And also what the fuck were Eric and Danielle mumbling to each other at the beginning of the race? Nevermind, I don’t want to know. Boringest idiotic pseudo team evah.

They also showed Mirna & Charla (”It might be chilly in Chile”) making some sort of an alliance with Team Kentucky, I don’t know how long THAT’s gonna last. I get that you don’t have to be mean in a race like this, but then again, you don’t HAVE to be SUPER NICE to the other teams if you want to win. There’s only going to be one winner, hello? Haven’t they learned anything from their six pack alliance from last season? Bleh. Oooh, and also there was also some scenes where Kevin kinda ‘towed’ their car out of the ditch, and dumbass fucker Drew hit on the gas, almost dragging Kevin to the ground. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? He also went out of the way to become a stupid jerk by removing Kentucky’s luggage on the plane. Asshat.

Oh the plane! Romber and the Chas got on an earlier local flight with a connecting flight scheduled to reach Santiago. Unfortunately the connecting flight was delayed. So the other 8 teams got to Santiago, Chile first instead. Again, I love these airport drama. Something, or the ONLY thing, sorely missing from Amazing Race Asia (closest thing to this was the 68 hour bus ride down to Phuket).

The came to a roadblock to solve a boardroom puzzle. Mary actually impressed me with her ’skills’. Charla, on the other hand, was a disappointment. She should’ve provided us with some entertainment by doing cartwheels around the boardroom while Mary was solving the puzzle for her. Amber and Danny worked their clues really fast. I was totally laughing out loud when Eric went ‘what is it? what is it?’ when they already clearly told him what the answer was. Man, what a dumbass. I love Amber and Danny for leaving that dunce in the lurch.

Next, they had to fly to Calama, Chile. All of them got on the same flight and reached the Detour at a copper mine which was (1) By Hand - where they had to secure giant assed tractor tyres or (2) By Machine - to transfer gravel using one of those tractors. Everyone except Romber and the Guidos performed the first detour.  I super loved the banter between Charla and Mirna when Charla was bitching about looking around for a stool cause “I CAN’T REACH IT!!!”. LMAO. Love em or hate em, they are comedic gold I tell ya.

They next had to drive to the next pitstop through the Valley of the Moon (where the speed limit was 40 miles per hour) and the Valley of the Dead (where the speed limit was 50 miles per hour - a fact that one idiot fucker just cant seem to fathom). The only bit of drama here was when Charla & Mirna went mental with the taxi driver. In all fairness, the BQs kinda were freeloading from Schmirna, which wasn’t very nice. I totally loved Schmirna’s mental breakdown with the taxi driver. “Take everything. Take $200. I won’t eat tomorrow *CRIES*”. LOL Seriously folks, just think what TARAS would be without them (and filled with boring mactor numbfucks like Eric & Danielle).

It was an interesting finish, there were some footrace involved between teams #3 to #5. Footraces to the pitstops are always fun to watch no? All in all, a much better episode than the premier. It totally sucks that I won’t be able to watch the next two episodes though. Anyway, in the order of their arrival at the pitstop :

1. Romber - finished 1st twice in a row! Hate them if you must, but wow! I’m impressed.

2. The Chas - finished 2nd twice in a row! How can you not love them??

3. Guido - Still boring old farts, but for an old farts team, they’re doing pretty well

4. E&D - yuck.

5. Ucheyna & Joyce - still boring

6. Beauty Queens - They’re proving to be pretty good.

7. Teri & Ian - Not much out of them this episode

8. Charla & Mirna - I hope they get chosen for TARAS2

9. Kentucky - Not loving them. Couple of hypocrites if you ask me.

10. Kevin & Drew (eliminated) - I pity Kevin. Drew can suck on my two giant nuts.

Seriously? The guys just got their asses whooped. No contest. They should stop making this stupid rule where they MUST have equal numbers of guys versus girls in the Final 12. They MUST! All of the guys honestly pale in comparison to (most of) these girls tonight. Oooh, and they played one of my favourite songs ever during the girls’ journey to Hollywood intro (Sia’s Breathe Me). And I’m still amazed that I made it home in time today to watch the first performance of the night. I wish it was like this everyday. Can’t believe it took me only an hour for my commute home. That’s almost crazy.

(1) Stephanie Edwards. 19, Savannah, GA. (How Come You Don’t Call Me by Alicia Keys)

I love the pre-audition ‘underpimped’s. We hear almost nothing about them until they belt it out during the workshop performances. The falling down on her knees wasn’t over the top, in my opinion. Her voice was smooth and silky. I honestly don’t think we’ve seen her best yet. What a great was to start off the night. 7 out of 10.

(2) Amy Krebs. 22, Seattle, WA. (I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt)

That pales in comparison, it truly does. I have to biased because I listen to Bonnie Raite’s rendition almost everyday on my commute to work, so it’s inevitable that I’ll be making comparisons. And in comparison, that sucked. And she is totally forgettable. Simon’s comment about having the ‘personality of a candle’ made me laugh out loud. Where does he come up with these brilliant analogies? 4 out of 10.

(3) Leslie Hunt. 24, Chicago, IL. (You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin)

I’m sorry but she seems a little freaky, like a mildly unattractive Regina Filange. I know that sounds mean, but that’s how I feel. Vocalwise, she didn’t really made me want to vomit in my mouth. It was okay, pretty bland in parts. And bitch please, Atilia owns this song. Her dad looked like he was ready to punch Simon out, though. 5.5 out of 10.

(4) Sabrina Sloan. 27, Studio City, CA. (Ain’t Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You) by Aretha)
She started off a little funky but overall, it was bluesy and jazzy which I liked. Her performance was also a little sultry in small subtle doses which was a nice added bonus. Very nice indeed. 7 out of 10.

(5) Antonella Barba. 20, Point Pleasant, NJ. (I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith)
I can’t put it out of my head that this girl has the looks made for bimbos one of those cheap cheesy tween television dramas like the OC, Dawson’s Creek, Point Pleasant (HA!) and other similar filths that tweens watch. The performance was hideous, that I was crying tears of pain. Now, THIS performance made me want to throw up in my mouth. And in yours too. *gag* 2 out of 10.

(6) Jordin Sparks. 17, Glendale, AZ. (Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman)
Very nice work on the lower registers. She better stick to great song choices like these if she wants to stay in the competition. If she’s not careful, she will definitely suffer Nadia Turner’s and Lisa Tucker’s fate. Great potential, horrendous song choices. Jordis was excellent tonight. Definitely one of my picks for the Final 4. (And she looks like an Amazonian standing next to the Mr Semenmidgetcrust) 8 out of 10.

(7) Nicole Tranquillo. 20, Wernersville, PA. (Stay by Rufus and Chaka Khan)
OMGWTF? Her voice was totally all over the place. I truly honestly don’t get the judges raving on and on saying how she can sing and she’s got potential. The performance was disastrous. Vocal classes? Hell, I’m no expert but it sure doesn’t seem like she displayed any proper vocal techniques. And absolutely zero charisma. Very da makcik makcik punya style. Yuck. 3 out of 10.

(8) Haley Scarnato. 24, San Antonio TX. (It’s All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion.)
Celine Dion? This girl’s ambitious. It was actually pretty good. She hit (almost) all the right notes but like what Tarantino said to Diana’s rendition of the theme to Titanic : “So what?”. It was just okay for me. 5.5 out of 10.

(9) Melinda Doolittle. 29, Brentwood TN. (Since You’ve Been Gone by Aretha)
Man I love her. If there is ever an underdog story that I could stand behind, it’s this one. No pity parties, just a truly humble background singer singing her own way into the limelight. And my, what a voice. A vocal powerhouse. She did not strain even for one time throughout the entire performance. My other pick for the Final 4. No, make that, my definite pick for the Final 2. 8.5 out of 10.

(10) Alaina Alexander. 24, Redlands CA. (Brass In Pocket by The Pretenders)

Okay, I honestly didn’t realize I was watching the White Girls Can’t Sing talent show. Leave it to someone iike her to turn an upbeat song into an incredibly dreary number. Boring. And STFU Ryan, if she wants to quit, just fucking quit! What is this? Motivation Idol??????? For fucks sake. 4 out of 10.

(11) Gina Glocksen. 22, Naperville IL. (All By Myself by Eric Carmen)

I like Gina. I personally like her. But when she sings Latoya London’s signature song, it’s hard to not make comparisons. Fortunately, it wasn’t half as bad. She’s one with enough lungs to pull off great power ballads. I hope she goes far. 7 out of 10.

(12) Lakisha Jones. 27, Flint MI. (And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going by Jennifer Hudson!OMGWTF!)

I know this song is originally sung by Jenniffer Holliday, but it was so awesome to hear Boomie (Jennifer Hudson) getting some recognition for it. I’ve been listening to the Dreamgirls soundtrack for the past couple of weeks, and have been so accustomed to Boomie’s version, that Lakisha’s version just sounded okay to me. It was good, but I’m not sure if I agree with the judges that she was in a ‘league of her own’. Too much credit. Don’t get me wrong, it WAS good, but it didn’t blow me out of the water, or move me as much as Boomie’s version did. It was still very nice though, although I’m really hoping we’re not getting a Mantasia redux with all the single mother pity party angle. What next? “Life Is Not A Fairy Tale. Really!” telemovie next? No thanks. 8 out of 10.

All in all, exceptional performances from the majority of the girls. What a big difference compared to the paltry performance last night. Anyway, prediction time as to who I think will make it to the Top 6, seeing how I won’t be around to bitch and criticize for the next two weeks.

(1) Stephanie Edwards - tough call (might be a victim of too many divas)
(2) Amy Krebs - OUT
(3) Leslie Hunt - OUT
(4) Sabrina Sloan. - tough call but possibly IN
(5) Antonella Barba - tough call (might be this year’s VoteForTheWorst candidate)
(6) Jordin Sparks. - TOP SIX
(7) Nicole Tranquillo - DEFINITELY OUT
(8) Haley Scarnato - tough call
(9) Melinda Doolittle - DEFINITELY IN (and hopefully win)
(10) Alaina Alexander - OUT
(11) Gina Glocksen - TOP SIX
(12) Lakisha Jones - DEFINITELY IN

And the shitfest continues. I am amazed, not by the so called talent of the Top 12 guys tonight, but rather amazed with the fact that I reached home in time to watch the first contestant of the night sing. Looks like people are still on their CNY holiday break. Anyway, for those of you who are unsure of the upcoming schedule, we’re up to Top 12 Guys and Top 12 Girls. Every week for the next 3 weeks, we’re gonna lose 2 guys and 2 girls every week, till we’re down to Top 6 Guys and Top 12 Girls who will make up the Final 12 contestants. And.. for easier reference (adjusted to local time):

* Wednesday, Feb. 21 (8:00-10:00 PM) Top 12 Male Singers Perform
* Thursday, Feb. 22 (8:00-10:00 PM) Top 12 Female Singers Perform
* Friday, Feb. 23 (8:00-9:00 PM) First Results Show (Live ET/Tape-Delayed PT) – Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off

* Wednesday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:30 PM) Top 10 Male Singers Perform
* Thursday, March 1 (8:00-9:30 PM) Top 10 Female Singers Perform
* Friday, March 2 (8:00-9:00 PM) Results Show (Live ET/Tape-Delayed PT) – Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off

* Wednesday, March 7 (8:00-9:00 PM) Top 8 Male Singers Perform
* Thursday, March 8 (8:00-9:00 PM) Top 8 Female Singers Perform
* Friday, March 9 (8:00-9:00 PM) Results Show (Live ET/Tape-Delayed PT) – Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off; Top 12 Finalists Revealed

So let’s get down to business.

(1) Rudy Cardenas. 28, Denver - originally from Venezuela, full time singer (Free Ride by Edgar Winter)

It was pretty ballsy of him to start the show with a lively song but what the hell was that? Nasal much? And he was totally slurring some of the words. Meh. It was a forgettable performance. And Paula, Diana Degarmo is the only person in Idol history to truly open the show with a bang, bitch. 4.5 out of 10

(2) Brandon Rogers. 29, Altadena, California, background singer. (Rock With You by Michael Jackson)

That was bad in parts, and pretty much boring on all parts. Why the fuck was there a cut in the middle of his performance? That did not help at all. Not a brilliant song choice. He’s the Gideon of this season. 4.5 out of 10.

(3) Sundance Head. 28, Porter TX, works in a machine shop. (Nights In White Satin by Moody Blues)

OMG. This dude actually makes me want FatFuck back on the show. BRING BACK FAFU!!! Seriously what the fuck. I’d take FaFu anytime anyday over this guy. Seriously, I would even settle for Bobby Bennett with his Copacabana song. Shitty song, with an equally shitty performance. Ick. Hate. 2 out of 10.

(4) Paul Kim. 25, San Jose CA. (Careless Whisper by Wham.)

The bare feet? Where the hell does he think he is? His house? I don’t want to see nekkid toes on a singing competition (that goes the same to you, Semencrust). Thanks for effectively ruining one of the best classic songs ever. Remember when Syima sang this during Malaysian Idol. Good times, good times. This. was. bad. 2 out of 10.

(5) Chris Richardson. 22, Chesapeake, VA. (I Don’t Want To Be by Gavin De Graw)

Aside from the crew cut, I honestly don’t get the Timberlake reference. Timberlake is fuggo. This guy is hot. Okay I totally sound like a paedo there but it’s true. I wasn’t terribly impressed with the vocals. The bopping up and down was horrendous. He actually reminds me of a bastard child of Elliot and Jon Peter Lewis. *sigh* Elliot *sigh* But so far, this was the most palatable performance of the night so far. 5.5 out of 10.

(6) Nick Pedro. 25, Taunton, MA. (Now and Forever by Richard Marx)

Dude, even I can sing like that, and NO, that is most definitely NOT a compliment. Too much changes to a classic song is never a good thing. I don’t get Simon’s over pimping for this guy. It was not that great. Meh. Go home. 4 out of 10.

(7) Blake Lewis. 25, Seattle. Musician, beat-boxer, plays guitar and piano. (Somewhere Only We Know by Keane)

I had doubts if this dude can really sing, and I’m glad he realizes that this is a singing competition. I am mildly surprised that he can actually sing. Didn’t exactly blow my socks off but it was pretty good (helps that he sung one of my favorite songs too). I’d be suprised if this guy don’t end up in the final Final 6. Beatbox dude is beyond marketable. 6 out of 10.

(8) Sanjaya Malakar. 17, Seattle, WA (Knocks Me Off My Feet by Stevie Wonder)

His sister was totally sabotaging him with this song choice. Bitch. Personally I actually love his tone of voice, but he made the song sound really boring. Sinfully boring and really sounded a little too wimpish in some parts. He’s also too mousy for my liking. Eh. 4 out of 10.

(9) Chris Sligh. 28, Greenville, SC.(Typical by Mute Math)

Neo just called me and asked when the hell did I enter American Idol, that DICK. I won’t be caught dead wearing such uncouth heavy rimmed glasses, bitch. Anyway, I love this guy. Really nice voice. Really nice snarkiness - enough to match Simon’s! Easily the best of the night. And STFU Semencrust. God, is there a more obnoxious host than him? Allen Wooden may be boring as hell, but he’s not an obnoxious midget cunt like Semencrust. STFU! Most annoying host in the world evah. 6.5 out of 10.

(10) Jared Cotter. 25, Long Island, NY. (Back At One by Brian McKnight)

Dude! That was hawt! I take back what I said. THIS was easily the best performance of the night. Loved everything about his performance. Lovely voice, easy on the eyes. Loved. It. He kept it simple and very very pleasant. Hopefully, we’ll get to see and hear more from this guy. The only downside to the performance was that the song kinda reminded me of the horrid, HORRID performance by one of the Roman brothers. Ick. 7.5 out of 10.

(11) A.J. Tabaldo. 22, Santa Maria, CA (Never Too Much by Luther Vandross )

His voice was alright. Nothing to complain about really. Personally, I can only take so much of campiness. Boy was wayy to perky for me. Just not my cup of tea. 5.5 out of 10.

(12) Phil Stacey. 29, Jacksonville, FL. (I Could Not Ask For More by Edwin McCain)

Started off pleasant but boring. Then quickly picked up after the chorus. It was okay lah. I’m not really getting all the excessive praise for him. I have a sinking feeling that he’s going to be eye fucking every time he performs, and will be such an annoying fuck reminiscent of Constantine. Ew. 6 out of 10.

All in all, a pretty weak night. Randy was keeping it real. Simon was being his assholish self (which I love). Semencrust won’t shut his trap. And Paula was simply not drunk enough! Based on tonight’s performances, I doubt we’ll be getting a male winner this year. And since I won’t be around to make comments for the next two weeks, here are my predictions as to who I think will end up in the Final 6 for the guys :

(1) Rudy Cardenas. - FINAL SIX
(2) Brandon Rogers. - OUT
(3) Sundance Head. - DEFINITELY OUT
(4) Paul Kim. - DEFINITELY OUT
(5) Chris Richardson. - FINAL SIX
(6) Nick Pedro. - Tough call
(7) Blake Lewis. - FINAL SIX
(8) Sanjaya Malakar. - OUT
(9) Chris Sligh. - FINAL SIX
(10) Jared Cotter. - FINAL SIX
(11) A.J. Tabaldo. - OUT
(12) Phil Stacey. - Tough call but I’ll give the edge to this eye fucker. FINAL SIX.

I don’t know how many of us realize that AXN is showing the show LIVE via Satellite every Monday morning at 9 am. I’m sorry for not informing you folks this in advance, but the episode is repeated again tonight at 9 pm on Channel 17 AXN if you missed the show this morning. We’re lucky enough to get the day off today for the Chinese New Year holiday (Happy Belated Chinese New Year, everyone!) , so I was able to somewhat catch the Amazing Race All Star premier show LIVE. If you don’t want to be spoiled for the outcome, don’t proceed. Catch the first of the show’s many many repeat starting tonight at 9 pm.

So… Amazing Race All Star. It’s finally here! I just caught the amazing advertisement for the show, where they put the images of the contestants in new movie posters (the Guidos as the mock Godfathers - Grandfathers, and Romber as the Mr & Mrs Reality - as opposed to Mr & Mrs Smith, etc). I thought that was brilliant. Anyway, yes yes yes! The show is finally here. I was a little disappointed with the one-hour show. They really need to come up with 2-hour premiers, especially since this IS All Stars.

Phil’s words of wisdom : No one should take anyone for granted.

Wether or not that will come to fruition, we’ll just have to wait and see. Teams had to fly from the starting city in Miami to Quito, Ecuador. I love how we’re finally getting back some airport chaos and drama, something sorely lacking in the Amazing Race Asia. Wonder of all wonders, we see Rob showing kind gestures towards Danny & Oswald (the Cha Chas). That’s a first! And most likely the last. It was nice to see the Chas getting along well with Schmirna (TEAM SCHMIRNA FOR THE WIN!!!) at the airport. It was also kinda hilarious watching David say “Hi Rob & Kim. We’re big fans!”. LOL It’s kinda like a slap in the face to Amber. I love it.

Teams were split onto two different flights. American Airlines which leaves later but arrives two hours ealier (on this flight were - Romber, The Chas, Schmirna, Guidos, Jon Vito & Jill and Teri & Ian. The rest leave on a different flight which leaves earlier but arrives much later. I was surprised to see David & Mary’s hostility to the Beauty Queens, though.

One in Ecuador, the teams head to Plaza San Francisco, where they have to head down to Pims Restaurant to get their next scheduled departure times (Urghhh.. I absolutely hate it when they bunch up the teams like this). Romber was the first one to arrive, as expected. And it was interesting to see how the other teams are still hung up on Romber for doing so well in the race (so far). Aside from the onslaught of ‘rapido, rapido! Mucho rapido!’ comments, there wasn’t really anyting exciting going on. Oh, other than the fact that lazy fucker Drew tripped and thought he dislocated his shoulder (even though he could actually move it) and whined and bitched and whined.

The next morning they headed to the Cotopaxi National Park, where they were advised to drive via the Northern Entrance. Mirna commented that she wasn’t accustomed to driving with a stick (gear). I laughed out loud when the both of them made crossing gestures after she made that comment. Hahaha. Schmirna was also the first team to acquire the help of a fern in this show. YAY! It’s unfortunate that they didn’t tell the fern that they were supposed to use the Northern Entrance though.

The Detour was between Wrangle It (where they had to tie down a horse to clip it’s nails and trim it’s tails) and Recover It (where they had to search the fields for three missing items for their attire). Aside from Rob & Kimber (who actually did Recover It, and gave up), all of the teams did Recover It, and all of them finished their tasks in the order of their arrivals at the Detour.

I can’t believe Kevin & Drew didn’t bother to change their flat tyre on their four wheel drive. Isn’t that dangerous? But that definitely saved them from elimination though. But still.. I don’t like Drew. He sucks. Schmirna and JvJ lost their way (they made it to the park via it’s Southern entrance instead), so that pushed them further below the pack. In the end, Jon Vito and Jill never recovered and were eliminated.

All in all, a pretty bland premier, although I loved seeing all the teams back in action again. Hopefully next week’s episode will be so much better. In the order of their arrival at the pitstop :

1. Romber - I’m no fan of Romber, but you can’t deny that they’re pretty darn good racers.

2. The Chas - Love ‘em!

3. Teri and Ian - very competent racers. Would love to see them go far.

4. Eric & Danielle - I hate the fact that they’re not an original team. Ick! Jeremy should be on it.

5. Guido - Meh

6. Beauty Queens - Another competent team we should look out for

7. Ucheynna & Joyce - Boring

8. Schmirna - heart heart heart heart heart

9. David & Mary - They might be popular, but their place should be given to another team

10. Kevin & Drew - Die already.

11. Jon Vito & Jill (eliminated) - buh bye

First up, in keeping with tradition since Survivor Vanuatu, I have to start this off with a cursory FUCK YOU to ntv7 for failing us Survivor fans once again. It seems getting a Malaysian on the actual Survivor show is just simply not a good enough reason to air the show on the local network (not even after an Asian finally won the show last season).

It really does look like we have to resort yet again to downloading the episode off the internet, or watching it online via youtube. It sucks. Anyway, here are links to Episode 1 on you tube

Survivor Fiji Episode 1
(Part 1/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlS7dE-0RUc
(Part 2/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3hXKA2aPLI
(Part 3/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxWsM9XyR6s
(Part 4/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeFUnG3kaoQ
(Part 5/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jht3SkCHSvs
(Part 6/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2geQ5VpX4vw
(Part 7/7) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NPLsRMqQOQ

Don’t think I’ll be uploading the episodes to yousendit cause uploading the files took me frickin ages and I have unsubscribed it’s services. But I’ll keep the episodes on my HDD, so if you need me to burn the episodes, send me an email and I’ll see what I can do.

Anyway, onwards to the Episode. Here’s a ‘quick’ recap of Episode 1. Show starts off with Jeff giving a brief background on Fiji, the cannibalism history, its rich jungle terrains and how the fear of the unknown is so overwhelming that one contestant had a panic attack and quit just before they were stranded. Panic attack my ass!!! For more information, do visit the Why Did Melissa Quit? Photochop thread at Sucks.

So 19 people are set off on rafts, with absolutely no information given to them, as they headed off towards their beach. (The only exciting thing in this image below is the TAR All Star tag at the bottom)

We go back to the premise of Cook Islands, 4 Caucasians (the bitch quit before they started), 5 African Americans, 5 Hispanics and 5 Asians - all stranded as a single team on an island. Within the first 5 minutes we already have confessionals from people with “NICKNAMES” - “Rocky” cause he looks like Stallone, “Boo” (ICK!! Boo is cute for a female, but for a hunk-a-lug like this guy? It’s so wrong), and “Dreamz” (for fucks sake btw, is what you’d think a thirteen year old would call herself, but unfortunately, it’s the loud mouthed annoying homeless African American guy cunt who needs to get off the island, pronto)

They found a pretty cool cave for shelter. Yau Man proves himself to be a total asset IMMEDIATELY by helping out around camp and opening coconuts for the others. YAY! WAY TO MAKE US PROUD, YAU MAN! Later, Jeff drops a package into the ocean and the retrieved the box. All the strongest guys started to smash the boc, drop heavy stones on it etc to open the box. Then comes little fragile Yau Man, drops the box on its corners and BOOM! The box was open. LMAO!!! GO YAU MAN!

In the package, they were given maps of the island, flints, and further instructions and diagrams and such to build a kitchen, an outhouse, toilet, picnic table etc (all the raw materials and tools - including nails, mind you - were scattered around the island). Sylvia, an Asian architect, naturally stepped up to the plate and took leadership. Interestingly enough, she didn’t come across as too bossy, and everyone (except the big lard ass Michael Moore wannabe aka Papa Smurf) listened to her, so all is good.

Too many things were going around, and there were still too many new faces, so I might skip some of the dialogues between the castaways. Yau Man once again, helps the tribe by making hot lemon tea for his tribemates. YAY AGAIN! All 19 castaways spent the night together, and then this super giant ass Dreamz just wont shut the fuck up. Dreamz and Rocky have words. I’m not a fan of either of these two guys, but I kinda wished Rocky would punch Dreamz face the fuck out. Loud, annoying fuck.

Next they were called to a challenge. Jeff talks to everyone and everyone kinda agreed that Sylvia was the leader when it came to constructing the tribe site. So Jeff calls Sylvia out and asks her to …. divide the tribe into two!!! Just like that. So she did.

For the challenge, Jeff tells them that the winning tribe will get to stay on their current camp with all the luxury. In addition to that, they will also receive a comfortable couch AND other tools like cutlery (for fucks sake! Cutlery on Survivor? And mind you, they were also given Basmati fucking Rice at camp). The losing tribe will have to go to a new camp with nothing but a bucket and a In an interesting twist of event, Sylvia - the ‘leader’ - gets exiled before the challenge starts. She will join the losing tribe after tribal council, which means, at least she will be safe from the first vote. AND in addition to that, she will get clues on Exile Island as to the whereabouts of the Hidden Immunity Idol. (There are two this season).

The view from Exile Island is frickin beautiful! But it’s infested with sea snakes. Ick! And to add salt to the wound, the clue says that the Hidden Immunity Idol is not on Exile Island, and it’s back at camp. Which camp? Who knows. But it will make searching for the idol much more difficult with everyone else on the tribe keeping their eye on you.

Moto was leading in the immunity challenge, then Ravu stole their lead, but lost to them in the end. Someone on Ravu was going home. There were some boring chit chats and ’strategizing’ going on at camp, but first boots are always boring so I’m going to cut to the chase.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

(The Ravu tribe attends their first Tribal Council. Watch what they have to say as they cast their votes.)

MICHELLE (Jessica): Girl, you’re amazing, and you’re tough, and I love you, and that’s why you’re a threat to me.

JESSICA (Rita): I’m sorry. This wasn’t my idea.

EARL (Jessica): Sorry Jessica, I love you to death, but the tribe spoke this way. It was based on the challenge from today. They said you dropped the ball a couple of times and that really hurt us when we lost. Sorry. I love you to death. You’re wonderful.

MOOKIE (Jessica): I’m sorry, but you are the weakest link.

ERICA (”Yao”): This is basically a throwaway vote. The tribe decided to vote out Jessica, and I won’t write her name down.

ANTHONY (Jessica): You don’t deserve to go, but this is purely a strategical move. Sorry.

YAO-MAN (Jessica): Sorry. Nothing personal here. This is strictly mercenary; I’m trying to stay alive to fight another day. Good luck.

RITA (Jessica): I’m sorry, Jessica. As you said earlier, for our tribe now, it had to be a majority vote, and unless the others were lying to me, this is what the majority ruled. Again, I’m sorry.

ROCKY (”Mookey”): The person I’m voting off tonight is Mookey. I think, brother, you and I realize why. Sorry, brother. (I couldn’t catch the last sentence)

FOUR different people got votes! We haven’t had this in a long long time, but buh-bye Jessica. All in all, a pretty decent episode. I’m just really glad Yau Man didn’t turn out as an incompetent, annoying old fart like Cao Boi. Way to represent, Yau Man! You are awesome! First impressions on the castaways - Like : Earl, Cassandra, Yau Man, Sylvia. Meh on all the rest. Dislike : Rocky, Erica, Boo. ABSOLUTE HATE : Dreamz.

And a little something, which I think MrsG would find erm… useful. LOL

Seriously? That pic is not photochopped. I guess apparently, Xandir P Wifflebottom was right about Jeff’s package.

Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhh one of my biggest pet peeves evah!!! Why do people keep changing their handphone numbers? And why do people need to keep more than one number? Different lines for pleasure and for business? WHATFUCKINGEVER!!! I DON”T NEED TO KNOW BOTH/ALL YOUR NUMBERS AND DO NOT FUCKING ASSUME I’M GOING TO BOTHER KEEPING TRACK OF HOW MANY DIFFERENT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING NUMBERS YOU’RE FUCKING USING. If you wanna use more than one number, that’s fine, just don’t fucking alternate numbers when calling me or sending me an sms. I can’t be fucking bothered. I JUST CANT! If you need to change it permanently, have the fucking courtesy to let me know, and don’t just assume I already automatically know your fucking number when you send me an sms. AND DO NOT FUCKING EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR GODDAMN GRANDMOTHERFUCKING POSTMAN AND SEND YOUR NUMBER TO OTHER FOLKS ON YOUR FUCKING BEHALF.

GOT IT? YOU FUCKING GOT IT?????????????????????? If you don’t get it, don’t bother calling me. Fucking assholes.

*removes handphone from own ass*

10 teams, 14 countries, 18 cities, 39000 kilometers and 1 useless episode. They should’ve just went out with a bang last week, but nooooo… The regular TAR never had this sort of episode before so I was actually kinda looking forward to this, hoping for a Survivor reunion-like episode where all contestants sit down and talk about the race and of each other.

Instead, what we got was this lame assed episode which actually looked like a really poorly edited show out of the travel channel. Sure it was nice to watch all the places that they’ve visited, but I personally thought the format of that particular episode was wrong wrong wrong. And at 5 minutes before the episode ended, I immediately knew why. I can’t believe they had to come up with an entire episode to blatantly promote Bintan Lagoon Resort at the end. Holiday packages, great buffets and what nots?  Who fucking gives a shit. It was bad enough they did that, but even worse to hide that fact as a ‘never before seen’ footage.  I was expeceting behind the camera drama that unfold during the filming, but what we got was that. Oh for fucks sake.

Anyway, it was nice to watch the racers again. Made me realize what a great bunch of racers we had this time around. The casting directors did an excellent job. I’d say 80% of the cast was memorable (not going to mention who the 20% are).  From the ‘villains’ AndyLau to squeamish Sahran to the ultimate underdogs (that actually won!) with Zab and Joe Jer. Zabrian carries herself very well in the interviews, IMO. It was also nice to hear the racers reflect on their experience and what they learned from it. Well, here’s to Amazing Race Asia 2 !!!

In other news,

Lost had returned on the air after it’s 6 weeks hiatus. So we’re gonna get uninterrupted 18 weeks worth of Lost. I still enjoy watching it, but probably not as much as Heroes.

I’m really glad Star World has started to show Heroes. What did I tell you? Best kan? Personally Episode 5 is my favourite where it all (almost) comes together and things start to take off. They’re up to Episode 14 in the US right now, and it doesn’t look like it’s losing any of it’s momentum.

I’ve only started to watch Ugly Betty (which 8tv has just started airing) after persuasions from my friends. The show is very Prada-lite. It’s ultra camp, but it’s pretty good (I love the Scottish girl from Ricky Gervais’ Extras).

American Idol is done with the auditions and we’re going to Hollywood. I’m glad all the sucky auditions are over casue now we’ll get to actually listen to some good singers. Don’t really have a favorite yet, but Ebony.. wow.

And finally, Survivor Fiji is debuting in the US this morning, so it’s time to start downloading the episodes soon. I’m not really feeling the excitement even though we have a Malaysian on the show. I don’t know why. Maybe because TAR All Star >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all shows on tv ????

Tak Boleh Ganti - Beyotche

to the left
(ke kiri ke kiri)
to the left
(ke kiri ke kiri)

VERSE 1:

mmmm..to the left
(mmm… ke kiri)
to the left
(ke kiri)
Everthing you own in the box to the left
(semua dalam kotak, ke kiri)
In the closet, that’s my stuff-
(dalam gobok, barang aku)
Yes, if i bought then please don’t touch(dont touch)
(kalau aku yg punya, jangan ambik)

And keep talkin that mess thats fine,
(kau teruskan cakap sumbang)
but could you walk and talk at the same time-
(cakap tak serupa bikin, tak payah)
And, its my name thats on that jag.
(nama aku yg buruk)
so go move your bags let me call you a cab
(pegi pack barang, aku panggil taxi)

Standin in the front yard tellin me how i’m such a [fool]
(diri kat laman cakap aku ni bangang sangat)
talkin bout, ill never ever find a man like you,
(konon aku tak dapat jantan macam kamu)
You got me twisted
(aku tersentap)

CHORUS:
You must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
You must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
i could have another you in a minute,
(senang aku nak cari pengganti)
matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby
(kejap lagi ada yang ke mari, bayi)

You must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
You must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
i could have another you by tomorrow
(besok aku dapatkan pengganti)
so dont you ever for a second get to thinkin,
(tak payahlah kau nak berangan lagi)
you’re irreplaceable
(tak boleh nak ganti)

VERSE 2:

So go ahead and get gone, call up that chick,
(pegi berambus la cepat, panggil tino tu)
and see if shes home
(tengok dia ada tak)
oops, i bet you thought, that i didnt know,
(mesti kau ingat aku tak tau)
what did you think, i was puttin you out for…
(kau ingat apa, padan dengan muka)
because you was untrue, rollin her around in the car that i bought you
(kau tak setia, beromen dalam kereta akuuu)
baby drop them keys…hurry up before your taxi leaves
(bagi kunci, cepat blah taxi dah tunggu)

standin in the front yard tellin me how im such a [fool]
(diri kat laman cakap aku ni bangang betul)
talkin bout, ill never ever find a man like you,
(konon aku tak dapat jantan macam kamu)
you got me twisted
(aku tersentap)

CHORUS:

you must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
you must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
i could have another you in a minute
(senang aku nak cari pengganti)
matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby
(sekejap lagi ada yang ke mari, bayi)

you must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
you must not know bout me
(kau tak kenal aku)
i could have another you by tomorrow
(besok aku dapatkan pengganti)
so dont you ever for a second get to thinkin,
(tak payah kau nak berangan lagi)
you’re irreplaceable
(tak boleh nak ganti)

VERSE 3:

so since im not your everything,
(kalau aku ni takde apa)
how bout i’ll be nothing, nothing at all to you
(biar aku jadi nothing, nothing langsung to you)
baby i wont shed a tear for you (i wont shed a tear)
(bayi aku takkan nangis utk kamu)
i wont lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
(aku terus tidur nyenyak)
cause the truth of the matter is
(sebab cerita sebenarnya is)
replacing you is so easy
(nak ganti kau, senang gilar)

to the left
(ke kiri)
to the left
(ke kiri)

to the left
(ke kiri)
to the left
(ke kiri)

Ahh.. the things I come up with to avoid getting some actual work done in the office. Don’t forget a new episode (Best Memories) of the Amazing Race Asia tonight, biznitches!