Culturally Preconditioned

Seriously? The guys just got their asses whooped. No contest. They should stop making this stupid rule where they MUST have equal numbers of guys versus girls in the Final 12. They MUST! All of the guys honestly pale in comparison to (most of) these girls tonight. Oooh, and they played one of my favourite songs ever during the girls’ journey to Hollywood intro (Sia’s Breathe Me). And I’m still amazed that I made it home in time today to watch the first performance of the night. I wish it was like this everyday. Can’t believe it took me only an hour for my commute home. That’s almost crazy.

(1) Stephanie Edwards. 19, Savannah, GA. (How Come You Don’t Call Me by Alicia Keys)

I love the pre-audition ‘underpimped’s. We hear almost nothing about them until they belt it out during the workshop performances. The falling down on her knees wasn’t over the top, in my opinion. Her voice was smooth and silky. I honestly don’t think we’ve seen her best yet. What a great was to start off the night. 7 out of 10.

(2) Amy Krebs. 22, Seattle, WA. (I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt)

That pales in comparison, it truly does. I have to biased because I listen to Bonnie Raite’s rendition almost everyday on my commute to work, so it’s inevitable that I’ll be making comparisons. And in comparison, that sucked. And she is totally forgettable. Simon’s comment about having the ‘personality of a candle’ made me laugh out loud. Where does he come up with these brilliant analogies? 4 out of 10.

(3) Leslie Hunt. 24, Chicago, IL. (You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin)

I’m sorry but she seems a little freaky, like a mildly unattractive Regina Filange. I know that sounds mean, but that’s how I feel. Vocalwise, she didn’t really made me want to vomit in my mouth. It was okay, pretty bland in parts. And bitch please, Atilia owns this song. Her dad looked like he was ready to punch Simon out, though. 5.5 out of 10.

(4) Sabrina Sloan. 27, Studio City, CA. (Ain’t Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You) by Aretha)
She started off a little funky but overall, it was bluesy and jazzy which I liked. Her performance was also a little sultry in small subtle doses which was a nice added bonus. Very nice indeed. 7 out of 10.

(5) Antonella Barba. 20, Point Pleasant, NJ. (I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith)
I can’t put it out of my head that this girl has the looks made for bimbos one of those cheap cheesy tween television dramas like the OC, Dawson’s Creek, Point Pleasant (HA!) and other similar filths that tweens watch. The performance was hideous, that I was crying tears of pain. Now, THIS performance made me want to throw up in my mouth. And in yours too. *gag* 2 out of 10.

(6) Jordin Sparks. 17, Glendale, AZ. (Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman)
Very nice work on the lower registers. She better stick to great song choices like these if she wants to stay in the competition. If she’s not careful, she will definitely suffer Nadia Turner’s and Lisa Tucker’s fate. Great potential, horrendous song choices. Jordis was excellent tonight. Definitely one of my picks for the Final 4. (And she looks like an Amazonian standing next to the Mr Semenmidgetcrust) 8 out of 10.

(7) Nicole Tranquillo. 20, Wernersville, PA. (Stay by Rufus and Chaka Khan)
OMGWTF? Her voice was totally all over the place. I truly honestly don’t get the judges raving on and on saying how she can sing and she’s got potential. The performance was disastrous. Vocal classes? Hell, I’m no expert but it sure doesn’t seem like she displayed any proper vocal techniques. And absolutely zero charisma. Very da makcik makcik punya style. Yuck. 3 out of 10.

(8) Haley Scarnato. 24, San Antonio TX. (It’s All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion.)
Celine Dion? This girl’s ambitious. It was actually pretty good. She hit (almost) all the right notes but like what Tarantino said to Diana’s rendition of the theme to Titanic : “So what?”. It was just okay for me. 5.5 out of 10.

(9) Melinda Doolittle. 29, Brentwood TN. (Since You’ve Been Gone by Aretha)
Man I love her. If there is ever an underdog story that I could stand behind, it’s this one. No pity parties, just a truly humble background singer singing her own way into the limelight. And my, what a voice. A vocal powerhouse. She did not strain even for one time throughout the entire performance. My other pick for the Final 4. No, make that, my definite pick for the Final 2. 8.5 out of 10.

(10) Alaina Alexander. 24, Redlands CA. (Brass In Pocket by The Pretenders)

Okay, I honestly didn’t realize I was watching the White Girls Can’t Sing talent show. Leave it to someone iike her to turn an upbeat song into an incredibly dreary number. Boring. And STFU Ryan, if she wants to quit, just fucking quit! What is this? Motivation Idol??????? For fucks sake. 4 out of 10.

(11) Gina Glocksen. 22, Naperville IL. (All By Myself by Eric Carmen)

I like Gina. I personally like her. But when she sings Latoya London’s signature song, it’s hard to not make comparisons. Fortunately, it wasn’t half as bad. She’s one with enough lungs to pull off great power ballads. I hope she goes far. 7 out of 10.

(12) Lakisha Jones. 27, Flint MI. (And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going by Jennifer Hudson!OMGWTF!)

I know this song is originally sung by Jenniffer Holliday, but it was so awesome to hear Boomie (Jennifer Hudson) getting some recognition for it. I’ve been listening to the Dreamgirls soundtrack for the past couple of weeks, and have been so accustomed to Boomie’s version, that Lakisha’s version just sounded okay to me. It was good, but I’m not sure if I agree with the judges that she was in a ‘league of her own’. Too much credit. Don’t get me wrong, it WAS good, but it didn’t blow me out of the water, or move me as much as Boomie’s version did. It was still very nice though, although I’m really hoping we’re not getting a Mantasia redux with all the single mother pity party angle. What next? “Life Is Not A Fairy Tale. Really!” telemovie next? No thanks. 8 out of 10.

All in all, exceptional performances from the majority of the girls. What a big difference compared to the paltry performance last night. Anyway, prediction time as to who I think will make it to the Top 6, seeing how I won’t be around to bitch and criticize for the next two weeks.

(1) Stephanie Edwards - tough call (might be a victim of too many divas)
(2) Amy Krebs - OUT
(3) Leslie Hunt - OUT
(4) Sabrina Sloan. - tough call but possibly IN
(5) Antonella Barba - tough call (might be this year’s VoteForTheWorst candidate)
(6) Jordin Sparks. - TOP SIX
(7) Nicole Tranquillo - DEFINITELY OUT
(8) Haley Scarnato - tough call
(9) Melinda Doolittle - DEFINITELY IN (and hopefully win)
(10) Alaina Alexander - OUT
(11) Gina Glocksen - TOP SIX
(12) Lakisha Jones - DEFINITELY IN