Culturally Preconditioned

The penultimate episode before the finale. Can you feel the excitement?? As of tonight, there were three teams that I wouldn’t mind winning, but seeing how this is the All Stars version, I guess the All Star curse will stick true and we might be getting the worst winners ever (case in point : Amber winning Survivor All Stars and my baby Janelle losing out at F3 in Big Brother All Stars.. although I would MUCH rather see Romber winning TAR All Stars rather than the pseudo asswipe team that is Eric and Danielle). I am preparing myself for the absolute worst. I’ve got six days to do that.

Anyway, in the last episode, we see the teams reach Macau which was the eleventh pitstop of the race. Danny & Oswald got the whole karma is a bizzle thing smacked right into the faces (hard) cause they yielded Team Asswipe (who deserved it). In their defense, I don’t think Danny & Oswald wanted to, but hey, they shouldn’t have made the deal with the crowned devils in the first place. And you pretty much see how mature Eric was. He was still pissed about being yielded by the Chas, even in this episode. Grow the fuck up.

Teams had to travel to Guam, and we see Mirna yet again adopt another foreign accent. Was it Spanish? Portuguese? I’m betting on Habibi. LOL. And am I the only one who noticed Charla’s not carrying any backpack? Anyway, Dustin & Kandice, Eric & Danielle and Charla & Mirna got on the first flight out from Hong Kong to Tokyo. Oswald & Danny got on the second flight to Tokyo, and miraculously, they all board the same connecting flight from Tokyo to Guam.

On arrival at Guam, they had to go to the Airport Base, where their military escorts will assemble in the morning. Urgh.. yet another bunching caused by the Hours of Operations. Morning comes, and it’s a Detour between (1) Care Package - where they had to take part in a humanitarian exercise by loading up 500 pounds of care packages (I saw a Spongebob Squarepants thingy thrown into the crate, I fucking swear) and drop the crate for care relief somewhere, and (2) Engine Care - where they had to scour clean a B52bomber wings - which I thought was weird since it had nothing to do with the engines. This looked tough cause it’s like scrubbing your typical bontot kuali times a billion! But those who chose the second detour, finished much quicker (ie. everyone except Charla & Mirna)

They next had to drive to the US Naval Base where a naval escort will drive them to the next clue which was a Roadblock of Search & Rescue. They had to navigate using GPS devices to locate an airline pilot, who will then give them new coordinates on the GPS device to locate the clearing so that they can call a helicopter for rescue.

Seems pretty easy, didn’t it? I can’t fathom why the reason why Oswald, Danielle and Charla had so much problems with it. Well, Charla basically because she can’t fucking stop touching all the buttons and the screen despite having told not to do so at least three fucking times on camera. And Danielle, well, cause she sucks Eric’s balls (which is equivalent to a donkey with syphillis). Seriously, does she ever stop fucking whining? Cunt.

Anyway, the pitstop for this leg of the Race isat Fort Soledad and in the order of the arrival at the pitstop : (1) Dustin & Kandice (2) Eric & Danielle (3) Charla & Mirna (4) Danny & Oswald. It sucks so much to see Danny & Oswald out of the race, and team Asswipe is still in it, and could very possibly well win it. Urgh. I hate that team. They shouldn’t have been on this race. They’re not even a real team. And the whole ‘relationship’ they got going on is a big fatass smokescreen that is so clearly transparent to everyone. I would love it if the Beauty Queens win, and totally ecstatic if Charla & Mirna get the million. But like I said, I’m preparing myself for the absolute worst.

Charla & Mirna for the win!!!

*keeping fingers and penis crossed*

This was “Idols Give Back” week, and the Coldplay song that they played in the intro was very off putting and pretty much set the tone for the entire night for me. Somber, boring, unoriginal and dreadful. The entire “your vote will save lives” bit was beyond cheesy. I know it’s for a good cause, but how much will $5 million make a difference to people in Africa, AND America? It’s insignificant, and for American Idol to pull this off.. I don’t know.. I feel very indifferent and suspect at the whole thing. It’s nothing more than a shameless marketing ploy to boost their ratings. Sorry, but this is not Live Aid. THAT actually made a difference. The theme for tonight is “Songs That Inspire”, and their mentor this week was Bono (which surprisingly wasn’t shown at all during tonight’s show).

Chris - Change The World (Eric Clapton)

I’m sorry in advance if you like this guy, but this guy is bullshit. I still can’t get past his “nasally is a form of singing” comment from last week. That warrants a What The Fuck? (not just the initials WTF.. but the full fledged What The Fuck.. there, I’ve said it twice). The most retarded thing to have ever come out of any creature’s bodily orifice on national television ever. That aside, his performance tonight was not entirely disastrous. But listening to the judges comments.. whatever the hell they were smoking tonight, I want some of it. I honestly do not get the overly pimping for this Timberfake wannabe. Dude needs to go home soon. 5.5/10

Melinda - There Will Come A Day (Faith Hill)

Melinda was in top form again tonight, but I doubt anyone is surprised. I wasn’t particularly excited for the performance though. Was it the song? Was it the overall theme for tonight? I don’t know but at the very least she gave me a reason not to entirely regret watching this show tonight. And I’m really glad her innocent doe-eyed expressions are gone. Thank fuck. 7/10

Blake - Imagine (John Lennon)

Meh.. the performance was just okay for me. I’m pretty sure I will be branded as a none compassionate asshole for saying this, but personally I’ve always thought this song was a tad overrated. OoOoOoOoOooooh. The song really is just so simple, and “it isn’t hard to do” indeed. Simon, I beg to differ. Jennifer Hudson belted this song out, and it worked just right for her. I’m really surprised and annoyed that none of the judges called Blake out for pulling a ’safe’ performance at this stage in the competition. In hindsight, I think Blake choosing this song says a lot about him, because like the song itself, they are both incredibly simple, transparent and overrated. 5.5/10

Lakisha - I Believe (Mantasia)

Will she stop fucking singing every past Idol songs? It was Carrie’s Jesus last week. Now it’s Mantasia’s I Believe. What next? Kelly’s Behind These Hazel Eyes? Will she do a retarded backflip like that gray haired half-wit from last season? And whoa… that performance was bad. Like someone on the boards had mentioned, unlike her heaving bosoms (which much like Mona Lisa’s eyes - it draws your eyes wherever they go), the performance was incredibly flat. Hell, Diana did a hell lot better than this. That pretty much says how bad this performance was. Truly abyssimal. Dude, stick a fork in her cleavage, LaKisha is DONE with this show. And on an unrelated note, she kinda reminds me of Ursula from The Little Mermaid with that longblack dress. Ursulakisha. Heh. 5.5/10

Phil - The Change (Garth Brooks)

I’ve always thought Phil had the best male vocals this season. And that is so incredibly evident in tonight’s show. Not because he sang really really well, but rather due to the fact that the other two guys sucked donkey balls. The performance wasn’t half bad. I actually kinda enjoyed it a little. I’m not sure, however, why the Vote For The Worst crew are now lobbying for him (they have dubbed him as NosPhilratu - Penis With Fangs LOL) now that Sangina is gone (Thank Fuck part 2) because Phil is far from the worst in this competition. OH well, whatever works. I’m not complaining. Much. 7/10

Jordin - You’ll Never Walk Alone (from the musucal Carousel)

Randy, that was NOT the most awesome American Idol performance in all six seasons ever or whatever. It was a beautiful, haunting performance, but not as great as he’s making it out to be (much as I love Jordin). It was not flaless, but definitely one of the best performances of the night (although that’s really not saying much with the group that we have left). I’d be hella surprised if Jordin and Melinda doesn’t make it to the Final Two this year. 7/10

All in all, a pretty weak night, in my opinion, considering we are whittled down to the final six already. This really has been a bad week for television, hasn’t it? The Amazing Race on Monday was pretty much lackluster. The Apprentice LA Finale was SHIT. As in really bad diarrhea SHIT. As in, the worst finale of a reality show program in all seasons in the history of broadcasting television ever. As in, the show has proved to be nothing more than a “Worship Me” by that balding fucker Trump and his pig faced Junior (Ivanka is hot though.. I’m pretty sure she was adopted or has been at least genetically modified). As in, I hope the show will never ever be renewed ever again. As in, I wanted to kill myself for investing 14 week’s worth of downloading that crap of a show.

Okay, can someone please help me pull this ginormous stick out from my ass?

On a brighter note, Heroes has started showing again this week. Huzzah! And Survivor.. OMG OMG OMG. Best episode in a long long long long time. In like.. OMG. OMG! I am still positively orgasming over what happened last week. O.M.G. The show absolutely redefined the term “PWNED”. I fucking love it.

This is going to be a short entry cause (a) I have to be at work again in about 2 hours time (b) it is yet again a Non-Elimination Leg (c) Eric and Danielle are still in the race.

The teams started off this leg by travelling to Macau by ferry from Hong Kong. Even though the were the first to arrive at the pitstop in the last leg, they had already spent all of their money (I blame it on the asshole at the gas station in Hartamas who sold off the newspaper at over RM300). Oswald had one of the funnier lines of the night : “Are we allowed to prostitute ourselves in the race?” LOL

The teams had to retrieve their clue from a rickshaw guy and then had to proceed to Macau Tower to do the world’s highest sky jump (an over 500ft drop from above the tower). Now, this is the shit I’ve been talking about. You get on Amazing Race, you get to do all these awesome sort of challenges (as much as I loved the Malaysian leg, the challenges in Kuala Lumpur pretty much sucked major ass).

There was a cautionary memo that there was a Yield ahead. Since the Beauty Queens had already used their yield on Eric and Danielle, they weren’t able to use it again. Danny & Oswald proposed that they will use Yield on the BQs behalf. The BQs can choose who they wish to yield, in exchange for some cash that Danny & Oswald really needs. The BQs chose to yield Eric & Danielle, yet again. These two are eeeeevil bitches. But I like it! And especially so that they yielded the same fuckers again.

Anyway, they all got bunched up quite closely because the hours of operations was at 11 am. Eric and Danielle got pissed. More so Eric. Anyone get the feeling like they’re watching a little boy who was denied of his Koko Krunch at breakfast? Yeah, me too. Very mature, there Eric.

They next had to find a clue at the Lou Lim Ioc garden, which then led them to a detour between (a) noodles - where they had to use traditional methods to make the noodles, or (b) dragon - find a dragon head and drums and carry it to the dragon boats on the race. All teams with the exception of Danny & Oswald did the noodles challenge and breezed through it (except Schmirna). The challenge looked like a lot of fun, but the bouncing on the pony sticks did look a little suggestive. And ewwww to Charla with her shoes on the table where they rolled out the noodles.

Karma’s a bizzle and that was evident when Danny & Oswald, gets a sucky taxi driver who drove them to the wrong place, and then they get lost on the streets trying to find the dragon boats on the lake. That was kinda painful to watch. They were in first place. If I ever get to be on the show, I will pray my damn hardest not to be cursed with an idiotic cab driver.

Teams had to find the Mini Moke, sort of a rickety buggy car and drive themselves to the pitstop. Mirna being Mirna, had to drive the mini moke up a curb. LOL. I was expecting her to throw a TyraTirade when the vehicles behind her started honking, but surprisingly she didn’t. Unsurprisingly, however, a lot of the locals came over and helped them.

In the end, all teams made it to the pitstop which was on Taipa Island. The order of arrival at the pitstop : (1) Dustin & Kandace (2) Eric & Danielle - who then had to incur their 30 minute penalty for being last on the previous non elimination leg - this pushed them to number (3). (2) Charla Mirna. and finally (4) Danny & Oswald. Luckily for them this was a non-elimination leg.

Now, I LOVE the fact the Danny & Oswald were saved from elimination, but what the fuck was up with two back to back non-elimination legs? That means that Eric & Danielle, who were ‘marked for elimination’, wouldn’t even get eliminated if they come into last place again. What bull is this? Anyway, I’m glad the Chas are still in this. Oh well.

Oooh.. and I’m sure a lot of you have seen this
Nokia’s Wireless Adventure (KL)

I guess this might be the next closest thing to The Amazing Race, eh? (except for Explorace, but since I’ve boycotted local tv channels except for ntv7’s Deal or No Deal, that doesn’t count)

Country Night. Woohoo! I’ve only recently started to really listen to country music (thanks to the exposure from American Idol, no thanks to local radio stations that keep spewing filth and whatevere fuck that is on top of the US mainstream charts). I love the vocals that usually come along with country music.. the twangs and the lentoks. I don’t know if it’s a personal preference, but I do think most of country music.. they’re basically just great songs with great melodies (which are sorely missing in a lot of so called ‘mainstream’ ‘music’ nowadays).

Phil - Where The Blacktop Ends (Keith Urban)

He sounded like ass in the rehearsals but he ain’t half bad with the actual performance. That said, I do think he has over extended his stay in the competition and will not be surprised if he’s the next one to go. And he’s still kinda fugly with that goofy grin and caterpillar brows. 7 out of 10.

Jordin - A Broken Wing (Martina McBride)

Ahh bring back memories. One of my favourite performances by Diana DeGarmo. This would’ve been hard to top off. She sounded a lot more R&B than she did sounding country in the verses. Her bridge was weak. The chorus was okay. I keep comparing to Diana’s and it kinda pales in comparison, although it was still pretty good. Not good enough though, I didn’t think it was all that great, but I do appreciate the judges giving her those superb comments. And I do want her (and/or Melinda) to win this. 6.5 out of 10.

Sangina - Something To Talk About (Bonnie Raitt)

I absolutely <3 Bonnie Raitt. And fuck me, I actually kinda like Sangina this week (although at first I thought it was Nadia Turner who turned up on stage). Okay, I may like him.. but just a little. Okay another way to put it is I didn't exactly feel compelled to shove two gigantic dildos into my ears to block the noise. It was... not THAT bad, and for sure not as horrendous as the judges pointed out (I think Sangina's had tonnes more worse performance, and I think the judges are just fed up with the VoteForTheWorst campaign). And I absolutely want Simon Cowell's baby for putting that asshole Semencrust in his place, and telling him to shut the bloody fuck up. Sometimes.. well most of the time, it's just annoying Ryan. Go molest some tween boys or something. EXTREME RYAN SEMENCRUST HATRED! 4.5 out of 10.

LaKisha - Jesus, Take The Wheel (Carrie Underwood)

Not a fan, but I thought LaKisha sang that quite well. Loved the country twang (something that was just not evident in Jordin’s performance)… but.. okay.. I wrote that one too soon. The chorus was truly horrible. She was just plain shouting everything after the initial verse. And the sudden change of tone in her voice.. from the verse to the bridge to the chorus.. that was all very wrong. Ick. I didn’t like it, and I definitely won’t shed a tear if she goes out tomorrow (oh please, I don’t wanna jinx it and say I want Sangina out tomorrow, even though that’s what I really want). 6 out of 10.

Chris - Mayberry (Rascall Flatts)

I dunno. I’m drawing a blank over here. He’s got that slight country twang that sounded right in certain places but.. I don’t know. I think overall, the entire performance was messy. I’d give Sangina the edge over this. His melody was just all over the place. I DO think that country music will tell you if a singer is versatile enough, and sadly, Chris is not. 4.5 out of 10.

Melinda - Trouble Is A Woman (Julie Reeves)

Okay tonight, I truly think Melinda could actually win this competition. I already know vocally, she’s the best, since Day One but I had doubts if she can actually pull this off (cause let’s face it, appearance wise, she’s no Beyonce), but I think unlike Elliot Yamin aka Monkey Boy, America will be more forgiving this time around. She sang that flawlessly. Absolutely flawless. 8.5 out of 10.

Blake - When The Stars Go Blue (Tim McGraw)

That was not country. That was pop. That was bad. Disappointing. And I can’t believe the unfair overpimping by the judges. Most overrated singer in this competition. (I still like his taste in music though). 4 out of 10.

Oh yes! Before I forget, the founder of VoteForTheWorst campaign, Dave Della Tersa, or otherwise known as thefunnystone to the Sucks family, was interviewed by David Letterman. Here’s a clip and it’s a pretty good interview too! I loved his shout out to Survivor Sucks message board. I only wish I had done the same when I helped Mirna during the task “MIRNA, SUCKSTERS LOVE YOU!!!” lol

Did you guys know that when they were having their mandatory rest period in Malaysia, the teams were actually watching the finale of TAR10 (the one with the Beauty Queens in it) on TV ? It just occured to me, that when we spotted these racers at Batu Caves, a lot of the people there must be thinking they were filming the current version of TAR10 because the Beauty Queens were there (and I would say, they were the most recognizable of the four teams.. other than Charla and Mirna). Yeah.. believe it or not, some people really still do believe that shows like Amazing Race and Survivors are filmed in ‘real time’. This is not Big Brother, people.

Anyway, tonight they leave Malaysia. I was kinda lost in thought for the first five minutes thinking.. “my spoiling days are done” LOL. Thankfully, I snapped out of all the wishy washyness quickly. The team were to leave Kuala Lumpur and fly to Hong Kong. There was a load of great airport drama scene (20 minutes was a tad too much, but still good nonetheless). Oooh.. a little sidetracking, since TARA2 is going beyond Asia this time around, let’s hope we’ll get more airport drama this time around (or at least something similar to the bus ride to Southern Thailand).

In the last episode, the Beauty Is Only Skin Deep Queens yielded team Bitch & Bitch (otherwise known as Eric and Danielle). Honestly, as much as I hate Eric and Danielle, I don’t think yielding them was necessary because Ucheynna and Joyce were so far behind them (Oh come on, they KNEW Ucheynna and Joyce were fucked). Anyway they did. Eric & Danielle was still pissed over it. It was so funny at the KLIA, where the two teams got on the same elevator. Can anyone say aaaaawwwwkwaaaaard ? LOL Oh grow the fuck up. You didn’t lose anything Eric. If you want revenge, don’t let them see you pissed. Play nice, and when the time is right.. BAM! You can hit them right back. That kind of revenge would’ve been so much sweeter. But we’re talking about Eric here.. so I’m not surprised he acted the way that he did.

Anyway, a lot of airport drama. Basically, Danny & Oswald, the Beauty Queens, Team WTF all got on Malaysia Airlines standby list (which leaves at 915 am). Danny & Oswald and Schmirna got on China Airlines standby list (which leaves at 800 am). Danny & Oswald was the only team that managed to get on the early flight, and they passed their booking info to Schmirna (God bless the Chas). I honestly love these two teams working together and don’t mind either of them winning.

I must say it was pretty manipulative of Schmirna to bump themselves into Danny & Oswald’s standby position. It was pretty sneaky.. but hey! What’s the difference between that and teams ganging up to book tickets for each other? It’s not as if the Beauty Queens haven’t done this before. “OMG she’s so manipulative” says the beauty queen with the horsey mouth that will make Danielle from Survivor Exile Islands green with envy. Bitch please, you are all manipulative. It was kinda funny to see her say that AND smiling at the same time. LOL talk about faking a smile. Anyway, I don’t necessarily hate the Beauty Queens, I love them too cause they too are competitive.. and I love the bitchy catfights that they have with Schmirna.

Another reason to love Malaysians? Well.. there’s ME of course, you know.. spoiling TAR and helping out the most awesome team ever and giving you guys lots of flaming opportunities when I get on TARA2 (I wish)… but then there’s also Desmond at the airport, who actually gave Eric & Danielle’s standby seats away. Hahafuckingha. I love Malaysians. We didn’t even know they were gonna be loathsome at the time, but I think deep down inside, we already knew back then that these assholes would be a waste of space in TAR All Star. Seriously.. next time? Get a real team. And does that bitch Danielle ever stop whining “I can’t believe this!” or “This is ridiculous” everytime they’re at the airport? Geez! I’m just thankful at least she’s not borrowing Surya’s annoying “This is absurd” catch phrase from the Apprentice LA (which I must say, have the most pathetic Final Four ever).

Will my recap ever end? Okay I’ll get back on track.

Danny & Oswald were the first to arrive in Hong Kong and their first clue was at a dry cleaner. Mmm.. TAR producers.. stereotypical, much? There was an option of the Fast Forward (the second of only 2 Fast Forwards in the competition. They needed to drive to Hong Kong’s old international airport and get on a movie set, where a driver will drive them in a high speed car stunt. Basically, they just need to strap themselves in a car and sit. And if they don’t die, they win the Fast Forwards. Easiest fast forward challenge in the history of TAR. Unless of course, they die in the stunt (which thankfully they didn’t). So they won, head to the next pistop, were the first team to arrive and win a Travelodge package back to Hong Kong for the Chinese New Year. The end.

The Beauty Queens and Schmirna were the next to arrive in Hong Kong. Since the Fast Forward was already taken, they had to go to a Detour, between (1) Kung Fu Fighting - where they had to climb up an 11 storey high building on bamboo scaffolds and avoiding fighting ninja at the same time, or (2) Lost In Translation - basically match a store sign that is given to them in Chinese characters. I think even if you CAN read the characters, it would’ve been a total bitch. So I was not surprised to see all the remaining teams perform the Kung Fu Fighting (are you singing the tune now? LOL me too!).

The Kung Fu fighting detour was entertaining to watch. Especially when one the BQs and when Mirna had some actual kicking scenes with the kung fu fighters. LOL. And Mirna’s quote “One day kung fu fighting. One day fighting the Beauty Queens” LOL. At least she knows that she’s constantly fighting with people. But that was awesome. It was a fun detour, and again, I have the utmost respect for Charla for completing the detour even though “each step is longer than her leg”.

They next had to go to Hong Kong island on a ferry. The taxi driver actually drove Schmirna to the island, and when they got on a ferry, they realized that they were heading towards where they came from (Kowloon). LOL you can’t make these stuff up, you know. Anyway, they turned around, but they lost some time. The next roadblock was to kick down doors in a building to search for their next clue. Nothing exciting here, except for the fact that when Charla was jumping up to search for the clue in the cupboard, it kinda reminds me of a giant rat. I know that is a mean thing to say, but I’m already going to hell for laughing uncontrollably (STILL) with her whole knight in shining armour stumblefuck TWO EPISODES AGO.

Next, they had to drive themselves to Victoria Park. Oooh if I ever get on the show, my biggest fear is having to drive inside a busy metropolitan city during rush fucking hour! There’s a reason why I take the train to work and spend almost 2 hours on commuting to work everyday. I seriously hate driving during the rush hour. Especially so, for these folks, when they don’t even fucking know where the hell they’re going! Much kudos to them for not getting lost. Anyway, their next task was to pull a toy Junk (or is that spelled Jong?) carefully across a pond to retrieve the Travelocity gnome and their next clue. Riveting stuff. *le yawn*

(Intermission : the Brand’s Chicken Essence advertisement is one of the most retarded ads I have seen this year)

Anyway, yada yada yada… they all got to the pitstop. I can’t stand Danielle bitching and whining. I just can’t. Shut up, shut the fuck up, shut the bloody fuck up. But what can I expect from these two? High maintenance bitch + uber dumb jock = Typical annoying tween couple. The editors are trying way to hard to try and soften their edit down, but fuck that shit. The sooner they get off my tv, the better.

In order of arrival at the pitstop (1) Danny & Oswald (2) Dustin and Kandace (3) Charla and Mirna (4) Eric & Danielle. UNFORTUNATELY for the rest of humanity, this was a non elimination leg, which means, we’ll have to endure more suffering from watching these two. Ick. Notice Phil didn’t say “I am pleased to say that this is a non-elimination leg” ? Me thinks he might be non too pleased that this WAS an elimination leg. Ho hum.

And how could I forget.. CHARLA AND HER WHEELIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL (images thanks to hossc from Sucks)

(it was even funnier with the oompa loompa ish music in the background LMFAO)

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they did it with expert timing 

Gwen Stefani, Jenniffer Lopez. These people are smart to jump in on the American Idol bandwagon. Well, it’s free publicity mah! At least the producers got it right with Jenniffer Lopez with Latin night. But Gwen for No Doubt and People Who Inspired Them night? What a crock of pig shit. At least do a proper NO DOUBT night or.. Pop Night.. ni tak.. asal boleh No Doubt and People Who Inspired Them Night. Sorry I know that was two weeks ago, but I still can’t stand Gwen. Fake Madonna wannabe. Ick. Anyway, tonight’s Latin night, and chances are she’ll be singing one of her new songs tomorrow night. Nice marketing there.

Melinda - Sway (Dean Martin)

She’s coming out of her shell which is kinda cool. But she better snap out of the whole “I’m an innocent little lamb” crap cause that’s gonna get old real fast. I liked her performance, but what a surprise eh? I didn’t think she was sexy or sulty but she worked that song real good. And I loved her retort to Simon’s comment too. 8 out of 10.

Boobkisha - CoNGa (Gloria Estefan)

Wow. Much admiration from me for taking a chance with this really fast number. But interestingly enough, I thought her vocals were horribly weak during the verses, and very nice with the chorus. Weird. It shoulda been the other way round. Oh well. 6.5 out of 10

Chris - Smooth (Santana)

I could live the rest of my life never listening to this overrated and overplayed song being played ever again. Seriously. And song choice aside, I thought the entire performance was pretty much Chris. In other words, terribly average. I don’t think he can possibly be any better though - and that’s not a compliment. 5 out of 10.

Haley - Turn The Beat Around (Gloria Estefan)

She should thank her lucky stars for those slender long legs, cause that’s what keeping her in this competition. That was ultra sumbang and practically all over the place. Diana Degarmo pulled this one alright, so there’s no reasons why she didn’t. And Simon’s advise? Now that’s brutal honest for ya. 3 out of 10.

Phil - Maria Maria (Santana)

I stil think Phil’s got one of the best male vocals this season, but that didn’t come across at all in his performance tonight.  And he is severely lacking the X-factor. I mean, even Melinda has mountain folds compared to this boring dud. His performance was a total snoozefest. 2 out of 10.

Jordin - Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Gloria Estefan)

Major kudos for her for loving 80s music (in fact that’s what I wrote in my TARA2 application form. Favourite music? 80s Retro. Woohoo! Long live long haired bands and good old cheesy bubble gum pop!) Was Jordin a little out of breath? Anyway, one of her better performances, but I’m not totally going crazy over it. 7 out of 10.

Blake - I Need To Know (Marc Anthony)

That was actually pretty hot. He didn’t fuck up the vocals, and he showed some moves on stage. I suddenly have a sinking feeling that he might be an actal threat to Melinda/Jordin in the finals. Damn.. this guy might actually win this shit. 8 out of 10.

Sangina - whateverfucksong

Sorry. I wasn’t concentrating. It’s just that everytime I see his face, my hands automatically go into bitchslap mode. Why won’t this bitch just leave? Urgh.. fuck you idiotic American tweens who keeps voting for him. And fuck you VoteForTheWorst. (This is really the worst by far). -unrated-

In a dream world, Sangina would be long gone by tomorrow but I’m guessing it’s time for Hailey or Phil to go. We’ll see.

Oh my heck. Where do I start? I have never had such major deja vu till I watched the episode last night. If any of you would recall my previous post of 2006 In Review :

” The Amazing Race : All Star Spoiler

No, I will not mention actually mention the spoilers here, but with the help of a friend (who I now owe a firstborn to, and) who tipped me off that The Amazing Race All Star was going to be shot here in Malaysia, I had personally managed to gain a hands on, first hand experience in watching The Amazing Race All Star being filmed. There is so much more to say on this, but … for reasons that I can’t really say right now, I won’t. You’ll just have to wait till April 2007, but believe me, you would want to watch this All Star series. Seriously. But that was the single most best Sunday I’ve ever had in my entire existence, and I’m not even exagerrating. Stay tuned, folks. “

Well, that episode, my friends, aired last night! Following a tip off that they will be shooting, we had managed to squeeze some info as to where they were possibily shooting and on what day. It was on a Sunday, so thankfully, I didn’t have to take the day off (you bet your ass I would, if it was on a workday.. work.. pfft!). Anyway, we managed to track down exactly where they were going to be.. at Batu Caves. We actually reached there before 6 am! The sky was still dark, but lo and behold! We saw people trudging camera equipments around. After several hours of waiting (and pretending we were innocent bystanders who were there to ‘exercise’.. LOL yeah right), we finally saw the teams coming in!!

* for pictures marked with asterisks, you can actually see the footage on the show

Batu Caves

http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/0-02.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/cluebox.jpg

Charla & Mirna

http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-01.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-02.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-03.jpg (they’re halfway up)
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-04.jpg (they'’re coming down) * (tv camera view from the top)
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-05.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/1-06.jpg

Danny & Oswald

http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/2-001.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/2-01.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/2-002.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/2-003.jpg

Dustin & Kandice

http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/3-001.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/3-01.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/3-02.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/3-002.jpg

Bitch & Bitch

http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-001.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-01.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-03.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-04.jpg *
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-05.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-002.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-003.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-004.jpg
http://www.izadsyah.com/taras/4-005.jpg

Exciting, no? Aaaaanyway it was a really covert operation, we had to spy and listen really hard to know where they were heading next. We didn’t want them to get suspicious or anything. There were several of us in the ’spoiling crew’, so we had to delegate our ‘trailing’ tasks among ourselves. We only managed to follow a couple of teams.. but thankfully, Shah and another friend managed to follow them to the cookie detour (no prizes for guessing who shouted “Go Charla!”.. LOL. That wasn’t me by the way) AND the batik detour. (This part of the spoiler operation was not covered by me, personally as I was still waiting for the other teams at Batu Caves)

The final detour, was kind hard.. we only heard hartamas but wasn’t sure where, so that took us quite some time to search.. till we found the TAR Cluebox at the playground. YAY! So, me and other spoiling buddy Kim just hung around there. We didn’t take any pictures, as it was a residential area (unlike the public touristy area at Batu Caves where everyone was taking pictures). By the time we were there, Mirna already started the roadblock and the Beauty Queens already went off.

I managed to walk slowly to Charla.. and managed to say a couple of stuff.. (”Hi.. how are you doing.. you guys are doing great bla bla bla).. until a particularly unfriendly production crew member came forward to me and shushed me away (Please step away please.. no.. no pictures please… HELLO.. I wasn’t even holding my camera then *rolleyes*) so we went away and waited down the hill to watch them jual “Suuurat kabar laaaaamerrrr” LOL.

Kim and I were bickering with each other “should we help them.. i want to help them.. for fucks sake it’s charla and mirna… i really want to help them… but are they going to let us help them.. bla bla labia bla”. Then.. suddenly out of the blue moon (LOL I love this saying).. Kim basically ran out to Mirna and asked “Can I help???”. Uhuh.. that shameless bitch! Basically that’s what you people saw last night. And Mirna obviously said :

Tak malu betul perempuan ni (but I’m actually just jealous she got more camera time than me. LOL) !!! So we actually got to help Mirna push the cart up the hill!

LOL… Never have I imagined actually being able to take their pictures at Batu Caves, let alone participate in an actual Amazing Race roadblock… AND actually was able to help my most favourite reality contestant EVER!!!!!!!! I must the luckiest bitch on Earth that fateful day on December 10th 2006. Sundays has never NEVER been the same again.

Anyway, after we finished helping her, she made us clap our hands, do a little cheer and an embarassing little victory jig. Oh my heavens. You know typical crazy Mirna stuff? I am thanking all my stars that little fucking scene did NOT make the air in the episode last night. If it did, I will never be able to show my face in public ever again. Like.. ever.

After that was done, Charla and Mirna had troubles finding a taxi because like.. mana ada taxi lalu playground tengahhari buta? This little behind the scenes did NOT make it onto the final cut. Basically the other girl who helped Mirna tried calling for a taxi but, you know lah.. taxis in KL.. they don’t want to take you unless they know where heading (at that time, Mirna was still finishing up some tasks and hadn’t received her clue).

So Kim and me basically sped off in my car, to the nearest Petronas station where there were loads of taxi queueing up for gas. Kim got out of the car and begged a few taxis to come with us. After getting verbal abuses from two of the fuckers, the third taxi driver finally agreed to help, so Kim got into the taxi and they headed to where Charla and Mirna were waiting (I followed behind in my car). They didn’t show Kim get out of the taxi for Charla and Mirna last night, but we did see Mirna’s goodbye advising her to “stay in school and win lots of medals”. OMGWTFLOL.. stay in school.

Bloody attention whore. Smiling some more. I should be the one on tv goddammit! And you’re right, you really shoulda won that earrings. LOL (I’m still very very jealous one, can’t you tell?).

Well basically that was our mini TAR experience. It was awesome.. and unfuckingbelievable. It’s like any TAR fans dream come true. And the hardest thing was, we couldn’t really share this out with people and have been holding this back for the past FOUR months! So watching the show last night was a huge relief.

And LOL and we just sent in our TARA2 audition video and application today! With any luck, they might recognize us (or at the very least, that bitch KIM *grumble* *grumble* from the episode last night). And don’t even ask me about the Bobot thingy.

“Stay off drugs, stay in school, be a professional.” ROTFLMAO

Me. That’s who. Nevermind it was only for a split microsecond, I was still on the show. And the best thing was.. I get to help my most favorite reality contestants ever! Dream come true? You bet. Granted that I can’t say I raced in the Amazing Race, but now I can technically say that I was on the Amazing Race. LOL. More on the episode in my update tomorrow!

and my car made a cameo appearance too LOL

And I actually had a line in there.. LOL yeah that was me.

Sorry for no updates on American Idol this week. I don’t know why, I just wasn’t in the mood last night. Maybe it’s because of Classics Week (god what a borefest), or maybe I was severely depressed cause I actually watched the final 30 minutes of the Akademi Fantasia concert rerun. My bet is on the second. It’s time like this, I find myself wishing for that Adlin person would come back and replace that particular judge who keeps delivering sermons, motivational speeches and the whole ‘understand the concept’ tirade. Nak katakan over, memang terlebih over. Bah humbug.

Anyway, I wasn’t particularly paying attention during the show (I caught the 6 pm show). Not even Melinda held my attention. I have to say I think Sanjaya was actually at his best last night cause there were no stupid gimmicks. That girl actually has a decent voice. I still don’t like him though.. sorry Y. LOL. Anyway, for this week’s recap, sorry to disappoint but have a look at Y’s Kopitiam or Shah’s Blog.

My friend told me Nigel Slater said that tonight’s boot will be the biggest shocker in Idol history. Something tells me that I won’t be surprised by it at all. Think Omarosa and Elton. Ho-hum.