Culturally Preconditioned

Gwen Stefani, Jenniffer Lopez. These people are smart to jump in on the American Idol bandwagon. Well, it’s free publicity mah! At least the producers got it right with Jenniffer Lopez with Latin night. But Gwen for No Doubt and People Who Inspired Them night? What a crock of pig shit. At least do a proper NO DOUBT night or.. Pop Night.. ni tak.. asal boleh No Doubt and People Who Inspired Them Night. Sorry I know that was two weeks ago, but I still can’t stand Gwen. Fake Madonna wannabe. Ick. Anyway, tonight’s Latin night, and chances are she’ll be singing one of her new songs tomorrow night. Nice marketing there.

Melinda - Sway (Dean Martin)

She’s coming out of her shell which is kinda cool. But she better snap out of the whole “I’m an innocent little lamb” crap cause that’s gonna get old real fast. I liked her performance, but what a surprise eh? I didn’t think she was sexy or sulty but she worked that song real good. And I loved her retort to Simon’s comment too. 8 out of 10.

Boobkisha - CoNGa (Gloria Estefan)

Wow. Much admiration from me for taking a chance with this really fast number. But interestingly enough, I thought her vocals were horribly weak during the verses, and very nice with the chorus. Weird. It shoulda been the other way round. Oh well. 6.5 out of 10

Chris - Smooth (Santana)

I could live the rest of my life never listening to this overrated and overplayed song being played ever again. Seriously. And song choice aside, I thought the entire performance was pretty much Chris. In other words, terribly average. I don’t think he can possibly be any better though - and that’s not a compliment. 5 out of 10.

Haley - Turn The Beat Around (Gloria Estefan)

She should thank her lucky stars for those slender long legs, cause that’s what keeping her in this competition. That was ultra sumbang and practically all over the place. Diana Degarmo pulled this one alright, so there’s no reasons why she didn’t. And Simon’s advise? Now that’s brutal honest for ya. 3 out of 10.

Phil - Maria Maria (Santana)

I stil think Phil’s got one of the best male vocals this season, but that didn’t come across at all in his performance tonight.  And he is severely lacking the X-factor. I mean, even Melinda has mountain folds compared to this boring dud. His performance was a total snoozefest. 2 out of 10.

Jordin - Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Gloria Estefan)

Major kudos for her for loving 80s music (in fact that’s what I wrote in my TARA2 application form. Favourite music? 80s Retro. Woohoo! Long live long haired bands and good old cheesy bubble gum pop!) Was Jordin a little out of breath? Anyway, one of her better performances, but I’m not totally going crazy over it. 7 out of 10.

Blake - I Need To Know (Marc Anthony)

That was actually pretty hot. He didn’t fuck up the vocals, and he showed some moves on stage. I suddenly have a sinking feeling that he might be an actal threat to Melinda/Jordin in the finals. Damn.. this guy might actually win this shit. 8 out of 10.

Sangina - whateverfucksong

Sorry. I wasn’t concentrating. It’s just that everytime I see his face, my hands automatically go into bitchslap mode. Why won’t this bitch just leave? Urgh.. fuck you idiotic American tweens who keeps voting for him. And fuck you VoteForTheWorst. (This is really the worst by far). -unrated-

In a dream world, Sangina would be long gone by tomorrow but I’m guessing it’s time for Hailey or Phil to go. We’ll see.