Culturally Preconditioned

You know what? I can’t really be arsed to watch the final 2 tonight cause I’ve got dinner plans with a long time pal from out of town. I might catch the 11:30 pm rerun tonight, but don’t think I’ll be making any other entries on The Final 2 performances tonight, so I’ll just borrow SurvivorLDog93’s excellent Play By Play over from the Survivor Sucks forum.

If you can’t wait to watch the show, look it up on youtube. I’m sure the clips will appear on there soon enough. Otherwise, you can listen to the MP3s at Rickey’s website (Here’s for Jordin’s performances, and here’s for Blake’s performances). Each of them sing 3 songs, and one ‘winning’ song - This Is My Now - yet another generic coronation song that will undoubtedly have cheesy lyrics with references to struggle, glory, shining, rainbows, dreams, reality, believe in yourself and all that fucking crap. I might add a few comments after (IF) I watch the show. From the feedback at the Sucks forum, it looks like Jordin’s a favourite to win. Go Jordin!

Oh and yet another reason not to watch this show tonight, Egghead Daughtry will be performing tonight. Let’s hope that means he won’t be in the spectacular finale tomorrow night, cause I will most definitely watch that.

Blake Lewis. After winning the coin toss, chose to go first.

You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi.

An extended beat intro, which works very well. An extended teaser right after the nicely phrased intro title line. Impressive vocal, considering who we’re listening to. And he beat-boxes his way through a phrase in the middle of the first verse. Title line, second time, a bit flat and shouty. Wisely he abandons the vocal, and beat-box-battles his way through about 8 bars with the drummer, also centerstage. Shouty ending of the title line, three times.

A 7. If it had been on pitch throughout, it might have been a 10.

Randy: I’ll give you a 10 out of 10 on the beatboxing. That was hot. The singing was just aiight.
Audience: BOO!
Paula: He’s hearing something we’re not hearing. You did far superior than at CBS. A 10 plus 10 plus 10!
Simon: Blake, you’re not the best singer in the competition, but you’re the best performer. The performance great, the singing a bit flat in the middle, you were shouting.
Audience: BOO!
Simon: But I don’t think it matters, because it was your best performance.

A standing ovation from Chris R and Phil.

Jordin Sparks.

Fighter by Christina Aguilera.

Straight hair. Attitude. Almost unintelligble lyrics to start. She does something interesting with her fingers and her hair around her temples, but vocally it’s uninteresting. The bridge, seemingly a bit off-time with the syncopated beat, although not offputtingly so. The audience is into it, as she melismizes the final line.

A 6.

Phillippi whistles through his teeth.
Audinece: JORDIN! JORDIN! :lbf
Randy: I feel like we got the great entertainer against the great singer. Not the greatest entertainment, but your voice was stellar!
Paula: This is gonna be one of the best finales ever! You were stellar! Awesome!
Simon: On a positive note, great that you chose a younger song. Because you are only 17. The vocals were shrieky in the middle.
Audience: NO!
Simon: I’m going to call Round One, to Blake.

Blake Lewis.

She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5.

Love the guitar start, with the audience clapping the beat in the background. Blake, seated on the edge of the stage, keeps it close to pitch as he delivers the proper demeanor. But he is alternately flat and sharp in spots leading into the title line, which tanks badly. False-pat ain’t his strong suit, huh? The second verse, better and sweetly delivered, but again, when he has to raise the pitch to the song, he falls short. It might have better been arranged lower, I dunno. But the second time through the falsetto is utterly painful. Break out the seat girls … it’s panic time for the voting Blakettes.

A 4.

Randy: Great song, nice vocal, man. I love when you sing naturally and pure. Very nice!
Paula: It’s good that the first number is done, and you got into the ease of the song. Very relaxed.
Simon: Uh, it was good, it was safe. Not as good as the first performance. I wouldn’t have chosen that song in the final, because it doesn’t make much of an impact.

Jordin Sparks.

Broken Wing by Martina McBride.

Comparisons aplenty available here: Diana DeGarmo and Jessica Sierra come to mind. Oooooh! Let’s put Daddy the NFL football player into the video right before we sing a song about an abusive daddy. Irony much? Okay, now for the song. Even the introductory humming sounds crappy tonight; sounded flat to me. Singing seated, I like the delivery of the first few lines, though, right on target. She stands mid-phrase, and puts the mic into the stand. The title line is powerfully delivered, and the intonation is good here. She freestyles it down the stretch as the backup singers take over the melody. But honestly? Something was missing.

A 7 or an 8. Take your pick. I’m giving it a Whatevia.

Randy: I still believe you’re still the most talented 17 year old singer. Flawless. Unbelievable. Better than the original.

:eyes :eyes :eyes

Paula: You look adorable. You are in great, great vocal voice tonight.
Simon: Now THAT was good!

Blake Lewis: This Is My Now.

Well, I remember the way the writers (who were just introduced to us) did it on the Idol website. But you know what? Blake hooked me right from the giddyup. Seated, side-saddle, with a blue background. He looks up, skyward, as if he’s looking to a higher power. (And to pull this song off, he’ll need one.) Actually palatable during the tltle line, though he quickly falls a quarter-tone flat for the bridge. Then he starts dancing like Chris Timberfake. Ugh. And what’s with the checkerboard/scarecrow looking glittervest? :lbf I was afraid this would happen; second time through the title line, it’s boring me senseless. Don’t blame it on me. *I* didn’t vote for this song. Even the final title line wobbles and falls short. Is he giving up?

:lbf

A 5.

Randy: I’m sure this isn’t the kind of song that fits your voice. But you don’t have to feel bad about it.

:eyes

Paula: I think you did a great job with the song.
Simon: I thought it was a little odd. How did you feel? Jumping around in the middle, you looked frustrated. We have to judge you tonight on your first two performances.
Audience: Polite applause.
Simon: I always said, “There’s talent in Seattle.” And I was right.

Jordin Sparks: This Is My Now.

Ryan: It’s the 17-year old’s last song of the night!

:eyes

I liked Blake’s start much better. This is pitchy and breathy. But she has greater vocal skills to call upon, and the audience is clearly behind her, having shrieked already. The song was written for Jordin, right? Oh.Gawd. Please. Not.The.Insipid.Waving.From.The.Audience.

:eyes

She misses a note here and there, but it’s much better sung than Blake’s version. I liked his interpretation better, but hers sounds like a coronation song. Even the glory note hits pretty close to home. Yeah, some pitch issues and some overacting here, but the coronation song goes to Jordin. At least until she *gags* on the final line.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

A 6.

Randy: You know what’s great about this show? It’s about the search for the next superstar. The best singing competition in the history of television. You were the best singer! You deserve it! YOU ARE WHAT IT IS ABOUT!
Paula: You frickin make me proud. I see your parents singing with you. You have a lot to be proud of. You are an angel.
Simon: Jordin, last week, I’mma be honest with you. I didn’t think you were good enough to make the finals. I was wrong. Because this is, in case we forget sometimes, a singing competition. You wiped the floor with Blake on that song.