Some obligatory rant before I start. This has to be one of the worst day off from work ever. First off I was woken up at 2 am with someone telling me that the credit card transactions at the pump stations are unmatched. Then at 3 am, the database crashed. It crashed yet again at 8 am. This just HAD to happen on my day off from work. Then my nasi lemak conveniently slipped from the dining table and fell on the floor, which rendered me breakfastless after my very rude awakening. Then I discovered my car battery was flat cause I had accidentally left the car lights on for the past 20 hours. And to top it all off, I got lost in Dengkil after the car was fixed (cause if you’re not heading to KLIA and you can measure the plane with the size of your thumb, you fucking know you’re lost). The only thing that could possibly make this even worse was the kiddiots on American Idol butchering Bon Jovial’s songs in tonight’s show (I always refer them as Bon Jovial cause Jon Bon Jovi always looks.. well jovial).
Since we’re talking about bad days, nothing could possibly top off the absolute worst day ever that happened some four years ago. I was called by the bank because one of my cheques bounced. Turned out that a certain wanker conveniently forgot to make payments into my account. So, not wanting my name to get blacklisted by Bank Negara because of someone else’s fault, I had to rectify the situation as soon as possible. In my haste, I had an accident on the Federal Highway. Quelle surprise. I had accidentally rammed into and made a minor dent (the size of my wenis’ girth.. yeah not that big.. wait… hang on) into a lawyer’s (out of all human race possible) BMW - which costed me about RM800 in repairs, and totally wrecked my driver’s door - which actually costed me much much less (Thank God no one was hurt, as I managed to swerve to avoid a full on collision).
Oh no, it doesn’t stop there. After all the mess was sorted out, I went back home and sighed a huge sigh everything was all over. I couldn’t be more wrong. Relieved that everything was over, I went to my bedroom, dropped my car keys, my wallet and stripped right down to my underwear (this has to be said) to.. you know relax and take a huge breather in my living room. To my horror, a huge gust of wind slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it (the lock was faulty). So there I was, (almost) stark naked in my living room, and it wasn’t even noon yet. I’ll be damned if I wanted to wait for my housemate to return home (who incidentally was away till the weekend). Thankfully some of my clothes were hanging in the laundry area. I got my shirt on, but NO pants! I had to resort to borrowing my housemate’s shorts. His size is about a 28-30″ waist, and I’ve got like.. I dunno.. 64″ inches all around? So no surprise there that I couldn’t zip the pants (I got my legs through, thank goodness). I couldn’t zip up the shorts, not all the way up, but not at all. Thankfully, my shirt was a bit oversized so it covered, what could’ve been, my wenis flogging out for the public to see. (Yes you can imagine how tiny the shorts was to have my dingly dangly bits dangling out like no one’s business. Then I had to trudge two kilometres on foot under the hot afternoon sun (with wenis dangerously exposed should a huge gust of wind appear out of nowhere) to Taipan USJ to get a locksmith to come to my rescue. Yeah. Worse day ever. You can’t make that shit up even if you wanted to.
Okay enough self-pity. Tonight’s theme for American Idol - Bon Jovi songs. Woohoo! I’m eagerly waiting what Dan will have to say about tonight’s performances. And I see Gina Glockson in the audience *sniff* She would’ve rocked it tonight.
Phil - Blaze Of Glory
One of my all time favourite Bon Jovi songs and thankfully Phil brought that song justice. That was easily his best performance to date. I had high hopes for this song and he didn’t disappoint. If I have to find a flaw in that performance, I’ll have to say that his voice was missing a bit of the raw edgeiness, but that’s totally forgiveable. He could prove a surprise and end up in the Final Three. 8.5 out of 10.
Jordin - Livin’ On A Prayer
Wow. I loved the Chaka Khan hairdo. The performance was.. well, commendable. Far from her best. Parts of it, especially the chorus, was excruciating. I have come to the conclusion that Jordin is this season’s McPhee. They both got the looks and the X-Factor to win this competition, but hey are far from consistent. She’s on thin ice this week, and she knows it. Such a shame. 5 out of 10.
LaKisha - This Ain’t A Love Song
I’m not even gonna start on her wardrobe this week. If I didn’t know Bon Jovi, I never would’ve guessed this was their song. LaKisha made this song her own. I didn’t think this diva could pull off a Bon Jovi song, not in a million years, but she proved me wrong. She picked it up real good towards the end without overdoing it. One of the most enjoyable LaKisha performances to date, for me personally. Bravo! 7.5 out of 10.
Blake - You Give Love A Bad Name
I was wary of his impending techno take on this song, but I thought the beat boxing worked well in that performance, although I think there were moments that I think he overdid it. Come on. Sing already, dammit. And I don’t like the fact that Blake softens up all the songs that he sings to compromise with his beat boxing, even this one during the verses. Meh. I don’t know. Part of me loved the performance, but part of me hated him for trying to change to much. 7.5 out of 10.
Chris - Dead Or Alive
OMG I can’t get past his ‘nasally is a form of singing’ voice during the rehearsals. He puts the capital N in Nasal. And capital A, S, A and L too. I wasn’t even gonna bother sitting through his actual performance (seriously, why bother), but I did (I’m such a sucker). It didn’t make me wanna kill myself, but it falls between ‘disastrous’ to ‘fuck me my ears are bleeding’ categories. 4 out of 10. And did Semencrust actually refer to him as Timberlake? *gag to all three of them*
Melinda - Have A Nice Day
At first, she does remind me of Tina Turner. Then reminds me of Janet Jackson during her whole Black Cat stint. But the more I listen to the performance, the more I think she was plain shrieking throughout the song to make her voice sound ‘rough’er. Le sigh. Well she tried her best, I guess. I loved her ‘tude on stage though. Well unless she pulls a major snafu like Dilana in Rockstar Supernova, Melinda already has this competition in the bag, so I’m not overly worried for her this week. 6 out of 10.
All in all, a pretty decent night considering rock is not for everybody, and half of the people left are divas. Since we had a free pass competition this week, tomorrow we wil see two singers cut from the show. I wouldn’t mind seeing LaKisha get cut, but Chris really needs to go. I think Phil and Jordin is also on the bubble tonight, so we’ll see. I don’t care who goes as long as Melinda stays in the competition. Go PRINCESSFIONA!!! <3 Melinda <3
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Blake rocks! Although he’s not my favourite contestant but his rendition of the Bon Jovi’s song really impress me.
Chris can go home tomorrow.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I liked Melinda’s a lot except when she sang “haaavvveee a nice day” the “have” part, aiyo…can almost feel her saliva spray la… semburan maut.
i almos think anyone who’s not in the safe zone on dialidol may leave tomorrow. so melinda may be a shock elimination too.
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Bon Jovial. LOL. I remember telling then to one of my pals when I was younger. Shall review it once I catch that REPEAT show at 11:30pm tonight, after watching the 6pm telecast.
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:22 pm
eh, not “almos think”, rather it should be “also think” (my post above). blake did well too, phil has a nice voice but he doesn’t look the part of an idol esp. without any hair does he?
i think btm two may well be lakisha and chris but melinda phil may be in the danger zone as well.
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:39 am
not my most favourite show this week. i think it is degenerating into a souless party
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Melinda looks better and better every single week!
What she needed was to pull a Storm Large and somehow go onto a platform and dive into the audience - totally awesome and hope she wins in every way possible.
Actually, Lakisha might take heed and also try diving into the audience. Hopefully she’ll crush that crying girl in her bosom.
May 6th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
hcfoo : I agree.. he kinda rocked this week’s performance. I’m guessing even if he goes the next round, he might sell a lot more album than Chris Daughtry.
Y : LOL semburan maut. Thank goodness Melinda wasn’t the shock elimination this week. I agree, Phil has a nice voice but he doesn’t have the Idol look. He really does remind me of this picture of an alien baby with large eyes and his mouth with open, revealing sharp fangs. I NEED to find that picture.
Gallivanter : Sucks that Astro was once again disrupted again for the repeat show.. some more they have the cheek to incease the price! Pfft… bloody sockcuckers.
Suanie : Really.. i thought it was.. so-so. I’m guessing you miss Sanjaya? Hehe
Dan : *cries* I miss Storm Large.. and Dilana too!
May 6th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Oh yes.. I thought Phil’s swan song is one of the most appropriate ever on this show. He certainly did go out in a Blaze Of Glory. As for Chris.. between Dead or Alive.. I choose Dead than having to hear his nasally-is-a-form-of-singing voice.