Culturally Preconditioned

During the first five minutes of tonight’s episode, I thought that the theme for tonight was going to be.. everything is all about karma.. seeing how after calling his daughter fat and useless, the old Asian man got hernia. I know it’s bad to laugh at other people’s misfortunate, but I can’t help it. I felt kinda bad about it.. but I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t laugh when they announced that. Anyway, as the episode progresses along (and especially towards the end), I realized everything is NOT about karma. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Teams started off the beginning of this leg still in Amsterdam. They were given clues to fly to Ouagadougu (spelling?). It was interesting since the teams weren’t told in which country this location was. It would’ve been better if they were given the town of Springfield (there’s like.. what eleventy thousand Springfields in the States alone?). It would’ve been nicer if they were given the location for Tongkang Pecah. Huh.. bet most of you don’t even know where that is. LOL. Anyway, it was kind of a nice twist. Reminds me of the episode where teams were given the Malaysian flag and they needed to figure out where they were heading to (I remember Zach and Flo immediately recognized it was the Malaysian flag).

Turns out that the town of Ouagadougou lies in Burkina Faso, in Africa. Now, I could’ve sworn TAR has gone on to this location before, but my TAR friends says otherwise. Oh well. There was a little bit of airport drama where teams were divided between two different flights to the same connecting flight in Paris. Blah blah blah… they were once again bunched up in Paris, so all is good. Once they reached the town in Furkina Baso, they had to drive to the train station to get their next clue.

We get a short clip of the ruthless cab driver taking advantage of the Blondes (was it the Blondes?) by taking more money than what was promised to him. I think a similar thing happened to Colin, no? The time when they threatened to put him in an African jail? LOL good times. Anyway, I woulda been pissed as shit too if I was in their position. Fucking ruthless cab driver. And he was fucking grinning from ear to ear. If I was in their position, I’m pretty sure I would’ve said “pukimak haramjadah” to his face (while smiling, of course). What? You think I’m crazy enough to curse him in a language that he understands?

The teams next had to catch a train to BINGO. Haha.. what a name. The train to Bingo leaves the next day, so once again there was bunching at the train station, where they all spent the night there. Did you notice the old Caucasian dude getting all pervy with the Blondes? Eww… but still old White man >>>> old Asian man. The train leaves the next day, and we get clips of the Blondes winning the KKKendra (ie racist) award for the un-PC dialogues regarding the state of the country (and the smell too, mind you). Man, the blondes are truly getting a shitty edit this time around.

It turns out that Bindo lies in the middle of nowhere - an African savannah, where they scurried around like headless chickens looking for the next clue. The clue leads them to the Roadblock where they had to milk a cow.. and drink the milk. God… I can’t even drink regular cow’s milk… let alone camel milk, so kudos to all of them, I guess. And I don’t know why but lactating camels makes me think of my ex-colleague Kelly (she knows why).

Okay, how many of you loved, loved, LOVED Lorena’s meltdown at the roadblock? LMAO! That was totally Flo-worthy. Dumbass bitch.  Screaming does not calm a camel down, fool. Damn, I tell ya. Un-cooperative animals are ever so funny on The Amazing Race. Colin’s broken Ox, Nate’s dehydrated donkey.. and now Lorena’s Camel. LOL the only thing funnier was watching some pooping camel action. No wait.. no Lorena’s meltdown was way funnier.

They next had to lead four camels across the Savannah along a marked path, which led them to the next detour.. to either (1) teach it - where they had to teach an African child 10 english words, or (2) learn it - where they had to learn 10 African phrases. Now, is it just me, or is LEARN IT the more obvious and easier option between the two? I’m kinda surprised they took a gamble with the first option (teach it). I can’t believe the Asian old fart started rambling on and going into descriptions of King Kong for the word ’skyscraper’. Yeah, that will help. Dumbass.

Next comes the pitstop.. but before just that, Mother Nature decided that this episode was going to be boring unless she steps in.. so we get a little Savannah Storm action going on for a bit. So, in the order of arrival at the pitstop (it’s quite amazing that 5 teams - from 2nd place to 6th place - came within seconds of each other at the pitstop) :

1. Hank Azaria <3 (man this team is gooooood)
2. TK & Rachel (meh)
3. Nate & Jen
4. Kunt & Viksyn <3 <3 <3 (omg she really DID call him KUNT in the last episode!!!)
5. Ron & Chris
6. Nicholas & Donald (meh)
7. Blondes
8. Lorena & Jason <3 <3 <3 (for trainwreck purposes only)
9. Latina Sisters

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the Dumb and Dumber part. Obviously, I was referring to Lorena as the Dumb one. The Dumber is referring to the Latina Sister who actually helped Lorena out at the Camel milking roadblock. For fucks sake…. the Sisters are in 2nd last place, Lorena was in last place having a meltdown of the century… And the stupid sister decided to help Lorena out by giving her hints on which camel she should go for. I mean.. what a fucking dumbass. Serves her right that they were overtaken at the pitstop. Actually I should be thankful that she helped Lorena out, cause that means we’ll get at least another week of Meltdown material from the unstable Lorena.  YAY! And yeah, I think Karma did a 180 on the Sisters this week. Well, sucks to be them.

Anyway, I’m too lazy to add pictures to my entry this week.. so have fun viewing all the pictures I took during the Amazing Race All Stars when they were in town last year.