Tips on getting cast for The Amazing Race Asia 3
Here are some tips that will guarantee to getting picked for the third season!!!
- Be a self-confessed Asian version of <<name obnoxious reality show contestants from the US counterparts>> (Romber has already been taken, so feel free to be the next Asian Goths, the Asian Lesbian Ministers, the Asian Hippies, the Asian Jonathon & Victoria etc etc etc). Must make sure your team do not actually have the capabilities to do what you say that you would do. Walking the walk is totally unnecessary.
- Make sure you are currently dating someone famous, local celebrities are preferable. As long as you’ve got hot physiques, it will totally compensate you for being the boringest team ever.
- Make sure you are willing to bend over, abandon plans with your original partner and go with a new team member that has been predetermined by the casting department.
- Make sure you have an out of the world, telenovella-like historical background. You should also be prepared to come up with an impromptu “We got Allenminated from the Amazing Race” song when you get last to the pitstop.
- You must be able to scream your lungs out for no apparent reason, at all times. Also be prepared to air your dirty laundry in the public after the show is over. Posting revealing pictures are not endorsed, but it has been known to happen. Also, you must be prepared to threaten viewers that do not like you by arranging real life fistfights so you can beat the shit out of those fans.
- Make sure you are celebrities in your own right, and have ZERO Asian slang, because God forbid, viewers will only accept racers with perfect English
- Make sure you at least come from a well known family, preferably with a national celebrity as a sibling.
- Make sure you have your own gimmick (think Juggling Grandpas, Yodellling Parents and the likes). You must be solely focused on tasks so the editors will be able to manipulate and edit you as the villains should the show become totally predictable.
- A physically impaired partner would be an added bonus because we embrace diversity. If the US can have little people, people with bionic legs running the legs, etc etc.. then we can do it too!
- You must be able to come up with fancy quips that will tickle the humour of adolescents and the like. Witty one liners are a must. Additional props and costumes (fake toupees, hats, moustaches) are encouraged. Also we prefer it if teams would talk directly into camera 95% of the time, while carefully and painstakingly ENUNCIATING every word, so that viewers will not miss the joke. Teams should be able to act convincingly in dull situations, to have the viewers into believing otherwise. Pole dancers are highly encouraged to apply. Teams should provide as much golden moments to the editors so that these footages may be used to portray a feel good ending to the franchise.
- If you don’t get picked this season, try again next time (although you can bet your ass we’re not going to give your next application a second look).
So.. are any of you offended? Or in tears? LOL. Good luck to all who’s applying next season. You’re going to fucking need it.
ps. some of you racers are really cool folks, and I’m sure you won’t take my harsh and scathing comments to heart. The sarcasm is mostly directed to the excellent casting department over at AXN.
[link]
January 24th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
It’s out already? I got another point to add. You or your partner must have at least one mat salleh parent, one mat salleh spouse, or have lived long enough in a mat salleh land. We’ll waive that if you sport some sort of handicap. Physical or mental handicaps welcome although preference will be given to bitches that are completely mental.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Hubby and I really wanted to take part in TARA, but last time around he broke a leg, that silly man, and we didn’t have a camcorder. I’m going to be the sarcastic granny, he’s going to be the cool as ice grandpa, and we’ll be like Don and Mary Jean. And yes, I’ll ditch him in a second if McKay thinks I should be partnered with Hugh Jackman (or hell, I’ll even take Allan Wu in his brown tank-top). I have a feeling the kids at Sucks will hate us though because we’ll definitely be making insulting shout-outs to them.
Come on, McKay, give us a shot!
PS: Izad, put that commentary for this episode up NOW. I’m bursting with things to say, starting with BROWN SINGLET. Wooh.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Yay, brown singlet - hahaha….!!!
Funny post
January 24th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
agree with deric. the blind leading the blind = mat salleh casting his fellow mat salleh.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:15 am
Physical or mental handicaps?
Yeah, I, honestly, have thought as yours.
But you never, never, never know how really they (handicaps, I mean) think and feel.
They usually looks such a strong, but .. in their feeling, actually they always want to scream louder (angry, disappointed,
hate, etc). So, don’t take an advantage from them please. You won’t know how their’s life is.
But .. so really enjoy reading your blog … keep blogging !!
Thanks
January 25th, 2008 at 1:51 am
[…] In case you missed it, the casting calls have started for The Amazing Race Asia 3.. and don’t forget to check my TIPS ON BEING CHOSEN FOR TARA3 post. It’s choke full of precious information that will give you secrets as to what McKay is looking for. […]
January 25th, 2008 at 8:55 am
You know, I have this strong feeling that Pam & Van will win the race. I may be reading too much into it, but both P&V are featured on that advertisement. And if you go to the main page, there is an animation of the teams. Pam & Van are the only team who got featured twice. At first I just shrugged it off, but after seeing this picture, either they really love P&V or it means something..
January 25th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
deric : LOL that is an awesome awesome tip!
MrsG : In all seriousness, you SHOULD try making the audition. Who knows, maybe they’re going a complete 180 for the TARA3 cast.
Synical : I somehow knew, while watching the show, that the brown singlet was going to be mentioned by some of you guys LOL
No one : You’re right. After those pictures surfaced, I kinda feel sorry for them both. I do think they need professional help. And fast.
Mojo : That would be awesome if they win. Future Msian racers would have a huge task ahead of them if another Msian team wins.