Culturally Preconditioned

Much as I want to hate this new mactor-infested TARA3 season, I can’t help but actually like their promo picture above. AXN is going all out with the advertisement for the new season, and I can’t help but wonder why.

I mean, have you seen the latest trailer/advert promoting season 3 of The Amazing Race Asia? Holy shit on a fucking stick, Batman. (Oh fucking relax, I’m not fasting right now). The excessive (and obsessive) mactor casting for the new season kinda makes sense. The Shitty Powers That Be (TARA producers and especially casting people) are now actually not hiding the fact that they only want beautiful actors to STAR in this REALITY show franchise.

The ad is an unprecedented thing to be done by any reality tv shows. It actually showed them *Gasp* acting out rehearsed really bad scripts. Ladies and gentlemen, be prepared for what could be the worst thing to ever grace the tv ever since the appearance of Marc and Roviltwat last season (although I really should thank my lucky stars the producers did not cast Rudy and JJ from the Hitz fm crew - the only ‘team’ that could possibly rival Marc/Roviltwat in terms of bad, rehearsed, adolescent-y, half-witted, lame lawak bodohs. Ever. Seriously.)

Anyway, was it just me, or did McKay and Yeo ramble on too much with their thoughts and wonderful insights. I’m like, STFU and show us the racers already. Their talk about ‘carefully handpicked’ teams out of over 2000 (foolish) applicants made me laugh. Unless by ‘carefully handpicked’ they mean picking the actors with their heads in their throbbing cocks and moist vaginas. The only two interesting audition tapes that was shown (That was NOT carefully handpicked) was the one by Kynt & Vyxsin and the one with the drag queen announcing “You are the winner of America’s Next Top Model” - only to be retorted with the response “Mmmm don’t want. I want to be on TARA3″. That did make me laugh.

Anyway, first impressions on the carefully handpicked teams :

back from left to right : Mai/Oliver, AD/Fuzzie, Niroo/Kapil, Sam/Vince, William/Isaac, Neena/Amit
front from left to right : Pailin/Natalie, Tisha/Geoff, Ida/Tania, Henry/Bernie

Tania/Ida (Malaysia)

Mactor or not, I can’t help but be biased cause I love love love Ida. So I will undoubtedly root for this team. However, being touted as THE MOST TOUGHEST RACE EVER!!!11!!ONE!, and based on the pre-show interviews, I don’t think they’d make it far in the race. Although, I really do hope we’ll get to see the overdramatic reactions from Ida that we all know (and love).

Vince/Sam (Hong Kong - but actually Canadian/Singaporean)

First impressions, I like this team. I’m just hoping there won’t be any Hippies/Roviltwat redux here. I have a feeling that this might be a team I might be rooting for as we go along in the race (provided they’re not the first ones out). You go, girls!

Pailin/Natalie (Thai - but actually Canadian/Thai)

I have a feeling that the producers just wanted a toekn Dustin/Kandice team. You know, who wouldn’t want to see Beauty Queens on the show (this is McKay’s throbbing cock talking, btw). I kinda actually feel bad for Thailand cause out of three seasons, we never seem to get ‘pure’ Thai folks (although I totally forgive them for giving us Andy and Laura for the first season. AndyLau for the win!)

Neena/Amit (India - but actually, oh yeah.. India)

Bickering cousin. Mm yeah. I don’t see what’s interesting abouit this team . Honestly I don’t, although my paunch says I should support another paunch making it on the show.

AD/Fuzzie (Singapore)

ZOMG. I love this team. They’re funny and (self-professed) controversial. How can you not love this team? The obsessive compulsive and the slob. I FUCKING LOVE IT *minor orgasm*. I know the race hasn’t started yet, but I know I’ll be devastated when/if this team gets eliminated. There’s nothing rehearsed about their witty banter and humour (something only friends of dorothy are fortunately blessed with). Best underdog team ever. And the race hasn’t even started yet.

Bernie/Henry (Malaysia)

I was initially just kinda meh on this alpha/alpha team. But I’m giving plus points to Henry for being a chef. Just because. I do think this team has what it takes to win and I’ll be surprised if they’re gone before the Final 4 team.

William/Isaac (Korea)

omg.. dullest contestant ever. They take, like, twenty minutes, like, to finish a sentence, like. NEXT. … you know.

Niroo/Kapil (India)

I love the father/son dynamic (bunyi lain mcm je.. I guess I’ve been torrenting too much), I’ll give them that. Hopefully these guys won’t disappoint. The impromptu skit, however, was a little suspect. Apparently the AXN fuckers, and by AXN fuckers I mean the casting idjits, really LOVE their actors, don’t they.

Tisha/Geoff (Phillipines - but actually New Zealander/Canadian.. boy the Canadians are making it BIG on TARA this season! GO CANUCKS!)

Again, I’m baffled by the nationalities here. I guess this must be the token beautiful couple who’s going on this race to evaluate their relationship *coughbullshitcough* team. Seriously, that is the most retarded reason for going on the race, ever. That said, this team could possibly surprise us, cause they’re giving me Andrew/Syeon vibes.

Mai/Oliver (Thailand - actually French/Thai and hey! THAI!)

I spoke too soon. We’re finally getting a Thai person who actually speaks like a Thai person. Wha-hey! Thank goodness for that. I actually have a good feeling for this team. Don’t ask me why.

And that’s that. All in all, I don’t think this show is going to totally suck this season. And let’s face it, no matter how sucky it gets, we all know that I’m going to watch to the bitter end. I am such a loser.

ps. good luck, racers

pps. fuck you TARA3 casting assholes.