Culturally Preconditioned

I was looking forward to watch the show tonight, only to be disappointed. Then entire two-hour was pretty much lackluster but I’ll write a quick recap anyways.

Jasmine Murray - “Love Song” (Sara Bareilles)

I liked her pre-show, but she was oh so pitchy tonight. I kinda get that she’s trying to ’sing a song her age’ but I dunno, I just thought her voice was bigger than this straightforward and simple song, that it came off sounding funny. It’s like Whitney singing falsettos and doing funky voice modulations with a Madonna song. You get what I mean. 5 out of 10.

Matt Giraud - “Viva La Vida” (Coldplay)

God I hate hate hate this song. Why would anyone want to emulate a nasal singer in the first place is beyond my comprehension. I don’t care if this song won a Grammy for Song Of The Year (the Grammies have been laughable for the past many years, anyway), it is still shite. ANd his bad performance was largely due to this horrid song choice. 2 out of 10. And ps. I loved the fact that Simon hinted that this was a terrible song as well. Twinsies!

Jeanine Vailes - “This Love” (Maroon 5)

See, there are some songs that sounds good when sung in an arena, and those same songs just come off terrible when sung live as a soloist, on stage. Heck, even Maroon 5 themselves couldn’t pull it off during one of the previous Idol live performances. This was just bad, bad and bad. 3 out of 10.

Nick Mitchell - “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls

Now, I was willing to pay so as not to ever hear this overrated, oversung song ever again sung on this show (or on the tv/radio, for that matter). But it was oh-so-appropriate for this guy to sing it, as he is clearly making a fool out of the show (and himself at the same time). Bravo bravo bravo. I have to say that the judges brought this abomination onto themselves by allowing him past the auditions. I did enjoy some of his antics but that performance was a definite ZERO out of 10 - with or without the glory note at the end.

Allison Iraheta - “Alone” (Heart)

Anyone who sings Heart and pulls it off automatically gets high points from me. I love love love this song. Not the best rendition by an Idol contestant, but by far, the best of the night so far. It wasn’t exactly mind blowing, but it should be good enough to push her into the Top 12. And I totally see the Kelly Clarkson comparison with Allison (unlike Alexis from last week). 7 out of 10.

Kris Allen - “Man in the Mirror” (Michael Jackson) 

This guys will probably suffer the same fate as Ricky Braddy from last week. Pretty good voice, but under-exposed and totally under-pimped. Will his good looks be good enough to bring him to the next round? Unfortunately, I don’t think so - but if he does, he might sneak up on the others and surprise everyone. For a white guy singing a Michael Jackson song, I think he did pretty okay. 6 out of 10.

Megan Corkrey  - “Put Your Records On” (Corrine Bailey Rae) 

Does anyone else think she looks like Reese Witherspoon’s little sister? Well I do. I love this song, but I actually much prefer Arianna Asfar’s audition performance to hers. I thought her voice was a little too raw in certain parts of this song, but I thought it’s the kind of performance you’d see at an arts performance event or something. And Paula, let’s not insult her by comparing her to Nelly Furtado, okay? 6.5 out of 10.

Matt Breitzke - “If You Could Only See” (Tonic)

Again, I would rather not see fat guys ‘jiving’ or ‘getting it on’ on stage. It is not a pretty sight. His vocals are not bad, but it didn’t quite seem to ‘fit’ him, if you know what I mean (ie : think Nickelback. *shudder*). His performance almost bored me, and I’d be disturbed if he made it through ‘because people like him’ (ala Sarver aka FaFu ver 8.01). 5.5 out of 10.

Jesse Langseth - “Bette Davis Eyes” (Kim Carnes) 

Urgh I just realized this was the bitch who got Frankie off the show. Grrr.. I’m glad she sang this wonderful song, but I dunno.. it just seemed that she sounded like she was singing out of her nose. She reminds me of that pastey banshee-like wraith from last season.. whatsername? Brooke something.. a very distracting look, that makes me want to look away everytime she stared right into the camera. I also thought, appearance aside, her performance was very forgettable (and Simon needs to stop stealing words out of my mouth, thank you). 5 out of 10.

Kai Kalama - “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” (Jimmy Ruffin)

I dunno. I actually kinda liked his performance tonight… BUT O.M.G. please stop eye fucking the camera!!!! I don’t want a Constantine redux. Aside from that, I definitely liked his vocals tonight. Personally I enjoyed his vocals the most out of all the male contestants tonight, but I don’t know if that will be enough for him to make it through. 6.5 out of 10.

Mishavonna Henson - “Drops of Jupiter” (Train)

Ooh nice start. I wasn’t really expecting that from her. Overall, it was a pretty decent performance. Slightly forgettable but definitely better than Jesse’s. 6 out of 10.  And what the FUCK is Randy talking about, bitching about soloists singing band songs. Eight seasons in, and NOW he’s mentioning it? Why is he still on the show again? And it’s so fucking ironic that he bitches about it, and then almost immediately sang praises and super-glued his nostrils up Adam Lambert’s rectum, even though HE sang a band song.
Adam Lambert - “Satisfaction” (The Rolling Stones) 

Excellent vocals… but only if he’s on Broadway. I can appreciate great broadway singers, but IMO they should totally stay within the boundaries of the theater - but that’s just MY personal preference. Never quite been a fan of broadway people on shows like Idol. I thought he overkilled the performance with all the dramatics (he’s from Broadway, I can’t really fault him for that). Best of the Night? Hard to say. The overpimping by the judges pretty much guarantees that he’ll make it through, so it doesn’t really matter what I think. But I’m just not loving it as much as you people might. 6.5 out of 10. ps. and he’s not the one to hate this season.. we’ll see that next week in the form of Von Smith.

Overall rankings for the night :

1. Allison Iraheta - 7 out of 10
2. Kai Kalama - 6.5 out of 10
2. Adam Lambert - 6.5 out of 10
2. Megan Corkrey - 6.5 out of 10
5. Kris Allen - 6 out of 10
5. Mishavonna Henson - 6 out of 10
7. Matt Breitzke - 5.5 out of 10
8. Jasmine Murray - 5 out of 10
8. Jesse Langseth - 5 out of 10
10. Jeanine Vailes - 3 out of 10
11. Matt Giraud - 2 out of 10
12. Nick Mitchell - 0 out of 10

Predictions :

Highest votes = Allison, Adam. Next highest vote getter = Megan. Wildcard = Matt(theFatOne)/Jasmine

But yeah, very disappointing night indeed. *sigh*