Culturally Preconditioned

I wonder if anyone noticed that the latest season of TAR has just started airing last night. I couldn’t tell based on the non-existence of TAR14 previews on AXN. But then again, I’ve been boycotting the channel ever since I heard news that those two narcisstic delusional idjits from the abomination that is called TARA2, is hosting their own show called The Duke on AXN - I’m guessing some fuckers at AXN really has a major hardon for these two attention whores. Seriously? I can’t think of anyone who would actually tune in to the show, other than the group of hardcore Pinoys (by hardcore, I mean those who think they are bigger than other Asian countries/people) and wannabe pimpled face tween boys and lusty tweeny girls. Oh, and Michael McKay too. Give me a break.

Anyway, The Amazing Race 14 .. just started.. last night. My initial thought was…. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO THE OPENING THEME MUSIC AND WHY DID THEY BASTARDIZED THE FUCKING LOGO?? Oh the humanity. I don’t know.. I just .. hate it. It doesn’t feel like watching the Amazing Race (and on this note, I have to say.. the Survivor editors are not doing any better ever since they start cropping the opening credits in China), but apparently a friend of mine loved the change. Ew.

The first episode was pretty decent. Teams started off in South Beach, California and are instructed to head straight to Switzerland. They needed to take between two predetermined flights (Lufthansa Air, landing in Zurich - and Air France, landing in Milan). On reaching their destination, teams had to travel by trains to a town called Locarno. Once at Locarno, teams had to take numbers at the San Antonio Church, and are bunched up in three different groups - which determined the time they would start their race on the following day. Teams camp out for the night, and we see some initial bonding between the groups.

The next day, teams left in batches (at 7:15 am, 7:30 am and 7:45 am) and were given postcards as their next clue - which has a picture of the Verzasca Dam on it. On reaching the dam in Ticino, teams discovered that there is a roadblock, where one of the team members had to perform a 70-storey bungee jump. It was noted that this was the second highest bungee jump in the world! Holy fucking shit, batman! After the bungee jump, teams had to once again travel by train, and this time head to Interlaken (Kleine Rugen Weise).

On reaching the destination, teams had to transport 200 pounds of cheese (that’s 4 huge wheels) from up a hill to a location down hill. They were instructed to use the traditional cheese carrier, but somehow, it seemed that most (if not all) of the teams basically just carried the cheese in their hands, rolled it down the hill, pushed it etc. I guess the producers overlooked the fact that it was close to impossible asking the teams to carry the cheese using the medieval apparatus without having 20 years of experience on them.  The challenge looked really hard, but I thought it was pretty good… even though I have to say that the cheese wheels that didn’t make it.. dayummmm what a fucking waste!

After finishing the task, teams needed to head to Stechelberg to find their next pitstop (by listening and following the sound of yodelers). In the order of the arrival at the pitstop :

#1  - Margie and Luke aka Mom and Deaf Son. They did a pretty kick ass job with the cheese challenge. I’m helluva impressed. They have yet to get on my nerves. I just hope they’re not going to overplay the Deaf People Can Do Everything Too schtick. Phil telling that they were team number One in sign language was a really nice touch.

# 2  - Tammy and Victor aka Asian Siblings. They’re pretty okay so far..  although I think they might be slightly overbearing in the episodes to come. However, they remind me of Henry and Bernie somewhat… so we’ll see.

# 3 - Mark and Mike aka Stunt Midgets. To tell you the truth, I didn’t realize they were ‘little people’ until after I see them standing next to the Asians. LOL. I actually like this team the best so far. They’re awesome.

# 4 - Mel and Mike aka Gay Dad and Gay Son. I recognize the gay son from some television shows (and from the movies). They did pretty okay so far.. surprisingly bland, actually, given their impressive resume and back story. Maybe we’ll see more of that later.

# 5 - Amanda and Kris aka One Of The Boring Token Dating Couples That Is Still On The Show. Seriously now.. who?

# 6 - Brad and Victoria aka Older Couple. I like this team and they seem pretty okay so far. I also think it’s funny that we have a Victor/Victoria this season.

# 7 - Cara and Jamie aka Cheerleaders. They sound like they’re trying to be the bitchy team based on the interviews, but they were just meh in this episode. If you’re gonna be bitches, BE bitches .. not wannabe bitches (like that vile cunt Corrine from Survivor Gabon. Most vile creature in the history of humankind ever. ps. and she’s fugly too).

# 8 - LaKisha and Jennifer aka The Sistahs. Pretty tame this episode. Not sure if they’re gonna be the stereotypical bitchy, loud African American ladies (I’ll be disappointed if they weren’t).

# 9 - Steve and Linda aka The Hillbillies aka Bama Part 2. Kinda felt bad for Linda when Steve was ragging on her for being too slow (even though he’s absolutely correct). This team is toast and will probably be philiminated next.

# 10 - Christi and Jodi aka Flight Attendants aka Blondes. I dunno but they seem like a blundering, incompetent team. They got reaaaallly lucky at the end when they overtook the other team to become the second last team to arrive at the pitstop. Not sure if they’ll be as lucky the next time around.

# 11 Preston and Jennifer aka One Of The Boring Token Dating Couples That Is Not On The Show. What’s up with two Jennifers, two Mikes and two Victor/Victorias this season? Anyway, it’s ironic that this team’s photo is one of the girl piggybacking on the guy, because that’s basically how they got eliminated. When you know you’re in a foot-race for a possible elimination.. YOU RUN! You don’t piggyback! FOR FUCKS SAKE. What retards.

All in all, a pretty decent premier.. I love the fact that teams had to travel in many different ways (plane, train, cabs) to get to their destination.   It’s still too early to tell, but I hope this is going to be a good season.