Culturally Preconditioned

I have to confess that I normally watch the last five minuted of The Duke, just so that I won’t miss the beginning of The Amazing Race (Astro/AXN’s clock has definitely gone way off.. I’m glad we don’t have TiVo here yet). But it never fails for me to see how incredibly uncomfortable their guests on the show are.. and how incredibly (badly) scripted their dialogues are. And LOL so much at their constant self-reaffirmation on how real men should be. alol so much.

Speaking of alol… this episode of TAR was extremely funny in my opinion.

The episode continues from last week’s To Be Continued leg, where Cara and Jaime were surprised by Phil that the race will continue and that it was a pseudo-pitstop. Teams had to make way to another route marker where they had to search shops to find the Travelocity Gnome. Once they found the clue, the gnome will lead them to the next task - which was to ride electric bicycles, past The Forbidden City, and to a station for their next clue. There was one moment where Jaime showed the gnome to the taxi driver (because the clue was attached to the bottom of the gnome), and he kinda freaked the flying fuck out. LOL

Their next clue is a detour, and teams had to choose between (1) Beijing Opera - where teams had to put on Chinese make up on their faces and don costumes, or (2) Chinese Waiter - where teams had to take and recite orders from dining patrons in Mandarin to the chef. Keisha/Jen, Luke/Bob, Jaime/Cara all did task (1). Some funny comments by Keisha : “You gonna scare a lot of children”, and Luke : “Bob, I’m not a girl” (no you’re not, you’re a bitch). Tammy and Victor did the second task and seemed to breezed through it. I was actually kinda surprised that they had to redo it once because of some mispronunciation.. if they did the mistake, what hope is left for everyone else in the race? Anyway, Tammy/Victor finished first and had the option to U-Turn a team.. and they U-Turned Keisha/Jen (Good call, in my opinion)

After the detour, teams had to go eat some Chinese delicacies (fried grubs, scorpion, grasshopper, starfish WTF?) at a street food stall. And next was a pitstop. Tammy/Victor finished all this in advance and were the first team to arrive at the pitstop at the Bird’s Nest Stadium. In the mean time, the other three teams finished the detour within minutes of each other. Luke/Bob was the second team to finish the grub eating task and was the second team to arrive at the pitstop.

In the mean time, Jaime/Cara and Keisha/Jen were having problems finding the U-Turn clue place thingy. Jaime said they spent three hours looking for it, when the place is actually at the Opera House itself. Keisha/Jen too had problems but they managed to find it a couple of minutes before Jaime/Cara did. Unfortunately for them, they had to perform the other detour task since they were U-Turned. So they went back to perform the Chinese Waiter detour. OMFG the way they mispronounced the orders, and the translations were fucking hilarious. A shame I didn’t jot them down, but it was too funny.

Keisha/Jen finished the detour and arrived at the street food stall before Jaime/Cara did. Unfortunately the bitch had to drink down 20 liters of water to get those insects down her throat. Lame. If a million dollars was down the line, I wouldn’t be taking my sweet fucking time to finish those. Just chug, chug, chug! (well maybe it’s easier for lard asses like me to do it). Anyway, both teams finished the tasks within minutes each other, and arrived at the stadium at almost the same time.

Keisha/Jen arrived there first, but because of all the drinking, she just HAD to stop for a pee-break, which led Jaime/Cara overtaking them. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I don’t like Jaime/Cara.. but for fucks sake. a pee break? for real? This totally reminds me of an acquaintance I had a couple of years ago.. when we went for a holiday. She keeps going for these pee breaks during a vacation. It’s okay if it’s because she’s got a bladder problem or something.. but every 15 minutes or so.. she wants to find a Starbucks and drink some coffee. I mean she MUST have her coffee. At THAT FUCKING INSTANT. So after 10 minutes of coffee.. yet another pee break. I was so fucking annoyed, I ended up ditching her for the rest of our vacation. LOL Tough shit.

Anyway, so the three teams going into the finals : Tammy/Victor, Luke/Bob, Jaime/Cara. I’m kinda hoping Tammy/Victor will win. Someone posted at Sucks and said that he might Phil somewhere, and he told Phil that he hoped Luke/Bob doesn’t win.. and Phil gave him a total WTF look as though he’s saying “why the fuck don’t you want the most lovable team ever to win?”. LOL anyway, good episode. I don’t know if I’m looking forward to the next episode or not.. although I have to say I’m looking forward to the part where the taxi person tells Jaime off by saying that she’s “not her personal concierge”. LOL