Culturally Preconditioned

I don’t know if I’m more pleasantly surprised by the outcome of TAR14, or the fact that The Duke is no longer on AXN. Anyway, teams started off from Beijing and are asked to fly to their final destination city, Maui in Hawaii. I was kind of surprised to see the big gap between the teams at the start of this leg. Tammy/Victor started this leg at 9:15pm, Luke/Bob started off at 11:24pm and Jaime/Cara started off at 2:04am. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter since the producers have pretty much guaranteed the airport bunching as the earliest flight leaves at 9am the next day.

After the 18 hour flight, teams had to go to Beach Access 118 (whatever that means) where they had to season a whole pig on a roast, and carry it 200 yards to a luau. They really should’nt have bothered with the seasoning as they all keep dropping the pig into the seawater and sand. Yum. I’m actually more surprised that Astro didn’t censor the pigs.. LOL so much at the selective and incoherent censorship by our local tv.. but what else is new.

Once they’ve finished with the task, teams head to McGregor Point where they had to ride a mile out to sea (on a speed boat thingy) and search for their clue among 100 buoys left afloat in the middle of the ocean. Luke/Bob made a lot of grounds on this, as they were the first ones to finish it. Then Jaime and Cara.. and finally Tammy/Victor. They next had to head on to Hana Highway and search for a Surfboard Fence for their final detour.

At this point, Jaime reared her fugly head and bitched once again to the taxi driver. I totally loved it when the woman on the phone told her that she was not Jaime’s personal concierge. Fuckin hell.. if I was the taxi driver, I’d ask those bitches to get the fuck out of my cab. Rude fuckers. Anyway, karma always bites you in the ass.. and it was very sweet to watch them get fucked over once again by taxi drivers, especially in this final leg.. and especially by an American in their homeland.

Anyway, at the final roadblock. teams had to remember everything they’ve done on the race, find corresponding symbols on hundreds of surfboards, and line them up in the correct sequence : (1) church (2) gondola (3) gymnastics (4) dam (5) vintage cars (6) nose flute (7) tiger (8) boats (9) china birds (10) reflexology (11) scorpion satays. And the people who performed the challenges were Luke, Victor and Jaime (wha-hey! the three bitches from the respective teams).

At first Luke breezed through the roadblock but he didn’t get the last two ones correct. Victor overtook him and finished the roadblock first. Jaime was the next one to finish, and Luke was the last *neener*. However, huge kudos to them for remembering all those details… I was totally lost on that one. Well, perhaps one would remember it better if one were to actually perform all the tasks in actuality. Anyway, once it’s done.. teams head to the final pitstop.

There was no surprise here : Tammy and Victor wins this season of the Amazing Race. The nasty cunt and her friend finished second. And the Professional Victim and his enabler came in third. I’m so fucking sick of the whole “deaf people are the same bla fucking bla deserve same treatment fucking shit bla” but the moment someone calls you a BITCH, not because you’re deaf - but you’re actually acting like a little whiny bitch, then you bring up the “ITS NOT NICE TO CALL A DEAF KID ‘BITCH’” card.. then you are officially on my shit list. Forever. And if you need more vomit inducing reasons to hate this team more, just read up any of their post-race interviews. Seriously most vile team ever.

Other than that, I couldn’t have asked for a much better ending (well I could, but I think the producers would want ALL THREE TEAMS at the pitstop in one piece). And surprisingly this photo that was posted at RFF a day before the episode was shown - proved to be an accurate spoiler after all (we see Victor holding up the number 1 with his finger). Good job!