Culturally Preconditioned

I’d normally feel indifferent towards Amazing Race running two separate legs in the same country. However, this leg delivers. Kinda anyways. First of all, the long bus ride drama. Secondly, people getting kicked in the shins by llamas. Thirdly, people getting kicked in the face by cows. Fourthly, have I mentioned the llamas?

Teams started off the next leg, and good ole Phil summarizes that teams had to
1. Leave Valparaiso and head to Santiago on a bus
2. From Santiago, get to Puerto Varas (575 miles away)
3. Once in Puerto Varas, drive to the lake at Hotel Petrohue
4. At the lake, take a boat to an island
5. Once you get to the island, climb up a hill to Mirador to get the next clue.
Well that sounds like a mouthful.. so I was kinda expecting lots of snafus made by the team somewhere between (1) and (5).

No drama in Valparaiso since all teams got on the same bus. In Santiago, the drama started when team Lesbian ‘jumped queue’ to get to their allies, team Azn, to get tickets on the first direct bus to PV. This leaves the remaining 8 teams to get on the second bus (which leaves about 1.5 hours later). Teams Jordeff, Couple, and Cowboys, however, were smart enough to find an alternative route via Temuco. Once in Temuco, teams Jordeff and Couple bought bus tickets… for a bus that was leaving from another bus station. WTF right? Yeah, I’d probably do the same.. I mean, even the annoying fucking touts in Puduraya don’t sell tickets and not tell passengers that the bus were from Wisma Putra. do they? I smell a rat in Temuco, but I guess they could’ve played it much more safer by double checking like the Cowboys did (who got the correct bus).  Fortunately the two teams managed to get on a four seater van (NOT A BUS! I could’ve sworn the rules stated they had to use a bus) later that night to get to PV. There were so much going ons with this segment of the show.. it’s kinda hard to recap. But this was almost as exciting as the stumblefuck we saw in TARA1 (the bus ride to Phuket). Oh man, that was pretty epic.

Anyway, bla bla bla.. teams get to the next clue, and it was a Detour. Teams had to choose between (1) Llama - where they choose a llama, and dress it. And by dressing it, I mean putting on a rug on it’s back and tying a shawl on its neck. Or teams can opt for (2) Condor - where they had to don a condor costume. And.. jump into a lake and swim for their clue (which were like.. 2 meters away). I mean.. god.. this was the most absurd and pointless roadblocks I have ever seen. If I was a Chilean (or a condor), I’d probably be offended. Seriously, what was the bloody point in doing the Condor detour? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate if they wore lemming costumes instead? The flapping of the condor costume was one of the most idiotic and stupidest thing I’ve seen on this show. I mean.. the sheer stupidity and pointlessness. WTF. Aaaaanyway, I was more looking forward to the llama roadblock since usually farm animals = win. It was as exciting as I hope it would be (I really wanted to see some llama spit flying about), but at least some people got kicked. So yay!

The route info tells them to head to Onces Bellarista Farm for the final roadblock of this leg. Teams had to gather five ingredients from the farm : a bag of flour, a bowl of sugar, a baker’s dozen egg, a cup of fresh milk, some knobs of butter. Once they got all five ingredients, they needed to hand them in to the cooks in the kitchen where they will get their next clue. I was actually disappointed that all of the teams knew there were 13 eggs in a baker’s dozen. I bet the Globetrotters from last season would’ve fell for this. Damn. When did the players start getting smart? The grandma and one of the moms got kicked in the face. I have to admit I cringed (almost as much as when Erinn’s ginormous boobies hit the water float in Survivor Thailand). Oh and the cows were crapping too.

The next clue tells them to drive to Grata de la Something back in Puerto Varta. omg is that it? Okay after writing this recap, I don’t think this leg delivered at all. Anyway, in the order of their arrival at the pitstop :

1. Team Cowboys - they messed things up in the last leg, but they more than made up for it this episode. Let’s see if they can keep holding on to the number one spot.
2. Team Azns - omg they’re invisible
3. Team Lesbians - I have to say that I’m no longer loving this team. If you want nice hotel rooms instead of getting your hands dirty, why are you on this show again?
4. Team Couple - they’re okay. Not as annoying as I thought they would be.
5. Team Moms - I gotta say that I’m impressed. They seem to be a capable teams. Let’s see if they can keep this up.
6. Team Jordeff - I actually thought they were gonna be fucked big time after missing the bus in Temaki. We need more Jordeff quips please.
7. Team Invisible - Dad and daughter magically turned up at the pitstop. Don’t ask me how.
8. Team Brothers - The gay guy reminds me of that chef Bob Blumer. And I think I might start a drinking game next week for everytime he says the word BRO on tv.
9. Team Thug - Sorry I can’t get past the porn ’stache.
10. Team Grandma/Granddaughter - I love the grandma for finishing the roadblock despite getting kicked in the face by a cow. It was sad to see them go, but they were cannon fodders anyway.

So next week. We get to see team Lesbian self-implode. Yaygasm!

Ooooh and interesting that AXN is doing open casting calls for TARA4 in Kucing, PJ and another place that I didn’t catch. Could they really, actually, in all seriousness, be looking for regular people on this next season?