Culturally Preconditioned

W00t! I got a one-minute mention in last week’s Armchair Survivor podcast. *multiple tiny orgasms* And can I just say that the last Survivor episode had one of the oddest tribal councils ever? Not that the outcome of the boot was not predictable, but rather the going-ons at Tribal Council itself were something nobody could’ve predicted. By the way, in case some of you still haven’t gotten around to watching the show, a little community service from me since ntv7 fucked up their schedules again this time around (TV SCHEDULES ARE SACRED, YOU BUNCH OF LAME MOTHERFUCKERS)

Survivor Cook Islands - Episode 1
Link: http://download.yousendit.com/3A96608C3C918F7B

Survivor Cook Islands - Episode 2
Link: http://download.yousendit.com/B988852E0EDFE60B

The link to the first episode will expire in couple of days, though.. so if you want it, get it quick.

Anyway, quick thoughts on the tribes for this week’s episode :

The White Tribe : Jonathan returned from Exile Island, only to find the rest of the tribe hasn’t lifted a finger or done any shit in camp. Kinda figures, since we have one dumb jock and three perky girls all alone on the island. They don’t even have a pseudo-tent set up and they’ve been there for the three fucking days! They’d rather sleep on the sand instead of a raised platform. Idiots. Can’t say that I’m surprised to get such attitude from someone listing the Olsen twins as their Favourite Actress in their bio. *cough*Adam*cough* He looks and plays the part, don’t he? Parvati, Candice and Flicka are almost non-entities in this episode.

The Asian Tribe : I wish they’d stop focusing on Cao Boi. He irritates me to no end. I hate him. He’s not funny and annoying. He keeps saying how he ‘doesnt fit into the Asian community’ and keeps making these racists joke.. hmm I wonder why. You see, I don’t mind these jokes IF the recipients are okay with it. But if the people you’re telling it too clearly finds it offensive (whether they are too sensitive or whatever), then for fucks sake.. STOP TELLING THEM. What a dumbass. Perky hippie nail salon manager asshole. Not much is heard from Brad and Jenny, although the two now have more than just Pinoy blood in common, they both now have Cao Boi’s red mark on their foreheads. As for Yul and Becky, again, we are hearing Yul discussing how he would like to work with Becky.. this is for the second time in the show. Will we see it come to fruition?

The Black Tribe : Nathan’s done well for himself in trying to adapt himself to the women on her tribe cause he knows he’s on the chopping block. We didn’t get to hear much on them this week, although they did focus Rebecca getting the fire on for the first time at camp. Don’t think that signifies anything though. And man, they should thank their lucky stars that the other team threw the challenge cause they REALLY sucked at the challenge.. the other team almost caught up with them on ZERO effort. Bleh. Stephennie and Sundra are almost invisible this episode (which reminds me I should probably post in the Irrational Sundra Hate thread at Survivor Sucks LOL).

The Hispanic Tribe : So Billy’s the token lazy fuck at camp, but was throwing the challenge just to get rid of him the right decision? I’ve always thought throwing a challenge is NEVER a good idea, unless it’s to take out the enemy (think Africa’s Boran booting Silas off after the switch). Sure Billy was an enemy (kinda) but he is still part of the Hispanic tribe. If they have problems with Billy, why didn’t they just deal the fuck directly with him at camp. Hey Billy, get off your ass and get us some food. Hey Fat Fuck, help us get the firewood. But nooooooooooo… they were willing to do it the dirty way instead. At least the hottest person on the cast (Cecelia) had good words of wisdom though “If you feel left out, JUMP THE FUCK RIGHT IN!!!” (okay I added the “THE FUCK” bit) so it wasn’t like Billy hadn’t received any warnings. That said, I don’t think throwing a challenge, when you have only FIVE people in your tribe, is a good thing. Not at all. I hope this will come and bite them all in the ass. I like Cristina but it’s unfortunate that she’s in the minority. A tribal switch could be her saving grace. Ozzy came across like a know-it-all ass to me in the episode. Not liking him much. And JP.. wow Queen JP.. who woulda thunk? My gaydar was correct after all.

The challenge : It’s interesting that they’ve decided to join together the Reward and Immunity Challenges, cause let’s face it.. we need more airtime to focus on the characters instead. The Asian tribe and The White Tribe were tied for first place so they both received the reward (the tarp, which the white tribe badly needed). The Black tribe unimpressively won third place and avoided Tribal Council. The Hispanic tribe are the worst actors and actresses in the world. They can not make it more obvious that they were throwing the challenge. Ohmigod.. I felt embarassed watching them pretend they were gonna try and win that challenge. Even Probst mentioned “The Hispanic tribe are having a parade” when they were clearly seen in last place during the challenge”.

Exile Island : The losing tribe chose Yul to be exiled. It was a pretty clear decision though. The Asians are proving themselves to be monsters at challenges and are a force to be reckoned with. However, I’ve always had this thought.. is it always a good idea to send your strongest enemy to be exiled? Sure, if you look at it one way, it MIGHT weaken that person, starved and exiled all alone over there, and probably disadvantaging their team strength-wise in the upcoming challenge. But then again, sending someone like that increases their chance to actually find the buried hidden immunity idol, WHICH YUL DID! (that was a total OMGWTF!!11 moment). On the other side of the coin, you could send the weakest person on the other team to be exiled, and therefore totally destroying one person from that team, which could hurt them collectively when it comes to a team-based challenge. And this weak person would probably don’t even have the strength to even want to go searching for the hidden immunity idol. The downside to this, is of course, if the team is high up in numbers that they might have the chance to sit the weak person out during the challenges. So.. sending a person to Exile Island? Not as straightforward as you think it would be. After all, Yul did find the immunity idol on his first trip there. Let’s hope the Hidden Immunity Idol will be played dramatically this season.

Tribal Council : Seriously, this is one of the oddest Tribal Councils I have ever seen. Firstly, despite the fact that my gaydar went blazing when I first saw him, I never expected for JP to pull out his boa and tiara and almost throw a Tyra Tirade at Tribal Council. Take a chill pill, girlfriend. Talk about a Drama Queen. LOL I’m lovin it though… oh nonononononononono… *SNAP*.. I was actually half expecting him to do some finger-waving too.

Secondly, the whole solemn dialogue between Probst and Billy. OMGWTFLOLZ!!!1111 Billy : “I found love on this island. That’s my reward”. Probst : “You mean Candice? From the OTHER tribe?”. It gave us one of the most precious Jeff Probst reactions EVER! It certainly broke Jeff out of his sleep, that’s for sure. OMG.. what the hell was this guy thinking? Candice says “We love you” and he says “I love you”? OHMIGOD… I honestly don’t know whether to point and laugh at this guy or feel sorry for him. LOL okay I will point and laugh.

Anyway, that’s the second episode for you. Next week, we’ll be seeing either a switch or a merge… I’m guessing both… possibly a merge and switch of 9 people per tribe.. and possibly a double boot as well.

BTW, Congratulations to Suki on winning One In A Million. I’m glad she won cause bluntly put, I don’t like either Faizal or Alif. Hopefully she’ll use the million dollars well.

One In A Million - Top 5

Alif ~ Ain’t No Other Man (Christina Aguilera)

Jeepers. Is he painful to watch or what? And I thought I was bad. Anyway, there mus be some seriously sadistically sick and twisted people out there to sing this song for him. He actually sounds pretty good (in other words, no major fuck ups) so well done. And just for the record, I love Christina, but I hate this song so damn much. I really really hate the 20s twist they pumped into this song. 6/10

Alif ~ One Remedy (Jason Mraz)

It is not easy to sing this song, Alif was not perfect but it was almost pleasant to hear. Notice I said “to hear” and not “to watch”. Seriously he needs to work on his stage performance. Macam badut overacting in a really bad musical. ANd I don’t know, I find it rude that he’s using sign language to communicate with people in the audience when the camera and host were focusing on him. 5 out of 10.

Farah ~ Trees (Marty Casey)

That was quite good. Not as much shrieking as she’d usually do. It was good, I guess. There still were some audible strains going on with her voice, what’s up with that? But at least it looked like she was having fun. 6/10

Farah ~ Unfaithful (Rihanna)

Why does she do this? Why does she keep making songs sound so much damn harder than it actually is? Why does she try to hard? That sucked major ass. I was trying to refrain myself from cussing last night, but this performance (the 7th song of the night) was the performance that broke my back. This show made me turn a complete 180 on Farah. Sorry. 2/10.

Suki ~ Engkaulah Segalanya (Ruth Sahanaya)

That was not excellent but it was pretty darn good. She could’ve done a lot lot worse but she pulled it off okay. It was an aenjoyable performance. Bravo, Suki. 7/10

Suki ~ Cepat Cepat (Jaclyn Victor)

The performance sounded too echoey. What the hell was up with that? Technical glitch much, 8tv? Anyway, I thought the song fitted Suki perfectly, teeny boppy bubble gum pop that tweens are into so much nowadays. And she sang it well (btw, I went to the same college with the guy who wrote this. Woohoo! Viva la MCB). 7.5/10

Faizal ~ Superman (Five For Fighting)

Lovely. He reminds me of when Man Bai first did Kau Ilhamku. I really liked the first half of the song. His voice sounded so tender. Then he stumblefucked midway through the lyrics and everything went downhill after that. And fucking seriously? The whole Superman t-shirt revealing thingy, is beyond cheesy. Leave that to (shitF)Ace Young thank you. Damn stupid retarded gimmick. Anyway, he fucked up vocally halfway through the song quite badly, in my opinion. 6/10

Faizal ~ Raikan Cinta

He’s got very good and strong vocals. That said, I am already sick of him and his style. SEPESEN doesn’t even begin to descibe it. And while you’re at it, shout a little more and a little louder, why don’t you. Screech if you have too, I’m sure the audience will not get sick of that. Sheesh. 5/10

Dayang ~ Gemilang (Jaclyn Victor)

Certain songs are not meant to be rearranged and “Gemilang” in my honest opinion, is one of them. I absolutely loathed the rendition. It’s almost as blasphemous as changing the beat of Negaraku to hip-hop. That did not work for me AT ALL. And could these people pleaaase, for the life of me, stop singing once the music has stopped. (btw, LMAO @ the Christmas Cracker dress comment made by Paul). 6/10

Dayang ~ Dangerously In Love (Beyonce)

Even that performace isn’t going to save the cowdung that was tonight’s performances. 5/10

That said, I am QUITTING THIS SHOW. If I feel like watching it, I’ll watch it, but looking at these FIVE in a million, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Next to Daniel winning Malaysian Idol 2 and Malaysia’s Most Beautiful Kepala Hotak Beautiful, this is one of the biggest jokes in recent years. To whoever that wins the money, take it away and get the hell out of my life forever. Thank you.

Before I start, a few little rants. Not only are we bombarded with repetitive annoying advertisements during the show, but now we are also treated to an advertisement for a product to whiten your celah ketiak. God knows that was bound to happen sooner or later. What next? Toe polisher for people with foot fetish? And another thing, I know this doesn’t belong here but it needs to be said. The whole thing about Mawi’s ex-fiancee releasing an album and selling a tell-all book on her past relationship with Mawi (as reported in The Star newspaper) is seriously the most media-whorish, attention-mongering, advantage-taking thing I have seen in a long long while. Malaysia apa-apa pun boleh kan? Dumbasses. I mean, the fact is nobody really gives a shit what went on between those two (and if some of you do, you guys seriously need to get a life). Things that have happened in private, should stay in private. Washing your soiled underwear in public is so not taking the high road. It’s a fucking sell out, that’s what it is. Oh and goodbye Lokman.. you will be missed. And now on to the show :

Alif ~ Tak Bisakah

I was actually surprised he wasn’t in the bottom group. For this performance, I thought he made the song sound more difficult than it really was. “Nasal” was the perfect word to describe that performance. 3/10

Alif ~ Harder To Breath

The voice was decent, but (I think I’ve said this countless times before) watching him perform was excruciating. A little bit over dramatic for my liking. 5/10

Dayang ~ Fever

I have to say that she looks gorgeous tonight. I love the bluesy take on this song. Her opening was superb, then it went awry for a bit, before she ended it with a bang. That was a really classy performance that should keep her in the competition. Brava. 8/10

Dayang ~ Be Without You

Somehow I knew I wasn’t gonna like this. It’s just the type of song that you just knowshe would sing. AND you know in advance how she was gonna sound. Predictable. It was good but it didn’t really work for me (and seriously, they need to get new background singers) 6.5/10

Faizal ~ Superstition

He reminds me of Chris Egghead, one who refuses to compromise. At least he knows his niche and he actually sounds good at it. You can tell he really wants to win this bad, but personally I’m getting a little tired of him. I just can’t imagine sitting through his CD though cause I get bored really easily. 7/10

Faizal ~ Elevation

Faizal is going to sound exactly like Faizal every time. And I have just realised that I’m rating his performance based on my personal likeability of the song that he’s singing, rather than his actual performance. So this gets another 7/10

Farah ~ Tak Terkapai Akalmu

I really thought it would be between Farah and Alif who will be leaving the show tonight. I have to say that I’m severly disappointed that Farah is still here. I don’t know what’s happened to her. She’s just getting worse and worse after each week. And no Paul, she doesn’t sound good on TV either. 4/10

Farah ~ Takkan Ada Cinta Yang Lain

Her voice actually sounds pleasant when she’s not singing the high notes and straining it. It was just slightly better than her first but I seriousy do not like it when she hits the high notes. And a very special THANK YOU to Syafinaz for calling her out on her Mat Salleh pronounciation of the letter T. 4.5/10

Azfar ~ Inayah

How can I sum up that performance? I guess I’d have to say it was pretty bland. No major flaw (except for the forced ‘lenggok nasyid’ opener which I SO do not give a shit for) but it came across as quite boring to me. Bleh. A note to the judge though, kalau jantan tak duduk kangkang, takkan nak kepit pulak… nanti lain pulak komen yg dapat nanti. Bleh. 5/10

Azfar ~ Andalusia

Yeah yeah technically he’s got good voice control and shit but I just don’t care much for the performance. I really don’t. And he’s a pretty mouthy guy, isn’t he? Just shut it with the smartass retorts already. 4/10

Suki ~ Pudar

The visuals were definitely weird for this one. You got a J-pop princess singing a Malay song on stage. Can’t get any weirder than that. The performance was enjoyable. I am finally feeling the Suki-love. That was simply splendid. But the judges comments on losing weight.. what the fuck was that all about? So she might gain a couple of pounds (it’s not even obvious), but I’d rather see a full figure than anorexic and bulemic stick figures on stage, thank you. That was the most idiotic comment I’ve ever heard from the judges. 7.5/10

Suki ~ When It All Fails

She started off really weak, tried to pick it up but faltered. She could’ve sounded so much better cause this song is really up her alley. Unfortunately she didn’t bring it home this time. And the dress was seriously retarded. Lose it. 5/10

Dayang ~ Because You Love Me

Does anyone have any idea why she said she was gonna sing Because Of You?  Thank goodness it wasn’t that oversung piece of crud by Kelly Clarkson (I like Kelly Clarkson.. but that song should be banned from all singing competitions). For Dayang’s standards, I thought it was really weak. Come on. There was nothing special about that performance. It was not bad, but personally I feel she performs better with fast numbers. I was seriously bored at the end of it all. 5 out of 10.

Lokman ~ Terbaik

On one hand, I kinda like his performance (just a tiny bit). Pretty much proves that he’s got at least a decent voice to deserve a place in the finals. But on the other, most parts of the song made me think like he was dying. Meh.. not his best performance is all I can say. And his comments.. something about representing kerajaan? I’m sorry but where exactly the fuck did that came from? 4 out of 10.

Farah ~ Anytime You Need A Friend

There’s a reason why she always falls into the bottom group, and I am not at all surprised by that fact. I found her dedication to her siblings quite touching, but not enough to deter the fact that it was a sucky performance. And this time, there was definitely the single overextended note at the end. And Paul’s words of wisdom rings oh-so-true. When Farah tries too hard, she comes across as fake. Maybe that’s the main reason why I’m not so much into her on this show, as I was when she was on Malaysian Idol. 4 out of 10.

Suki ~ Inside Your Heaven

What is wrong with everyone tonight? Is it the theme? Did the stupid dedications theme killed off tonight’s show? I’m guessing by the end of it all, I’m just going to be depressed as shit. Suki’s performance was okay, but compared to Carrie Underwood, it was pretty mediocre. And you’re pretty much fucked if I give Carrie Underwood more praise than you, cause everyone knows I hate her. The performance was just bland. But Suki looks beautiful tonight, though. 4.5 out of 10.

Azfar ~ Dealova

MY GOD! What a totally depressing night?!! Only 3 more performances until this slumberfest is over. Thank goodness. Azfar… meh I was bored bored bored. 4.5 out of 10.

Alif ~ Feeling Good

I actually thought his vocals were quite good. But watching him perform on stage was totally off-putting. It was like watching a very bad high school production of a musical theater.. terkinja-kinja tak tentu pasal on stage. He does that a lot, doesn’t he? But he gets bonus points for singing the first non-suicidal-inducing song of the night. 5 out of 10.

Faizal ~ Warisan Wanita Terakhir

I absolutely loved his yellow Spongebob t-shirt, kinda reminds me of Wooldoor Sockbat. I haven’t heard this song in a long long while. I didn’t think it worked for Faizal though. It was weird. Definitely his worst performance by far. He should’ve resisted from shouting half of the song. It was too much. Too much! 4.5 out of 10.

All in all, tonight’s show is hands down the shittiest episode in Malaysia’s reality show history. Thank you, asshats. After tonight, I really don’t give a fuck who wins the show. And is it just me, or is the show starting to become some sort of Forum Perdana, what’s with all these stupid beauty pageant questions that nobody really gives a shit. One thing I’ll say though.. take any dumb blonde’s answer from the Miss Universe show, and it will put all of tonight’s contestants bumbling, nonsensical answers to shame. And honestly, some of these contestants need to learn to shut the bloody fuck up and stop all the loyar buruk backtalks to the judges. It may seem ‘cute’ and show that you ‘have a sense of humour’ at first. Now it’s getting just annoying, smartasses. Urghhh…

Am I menstruating again? After tonight’s shitfest, I might as well start.

Lokman ~ Menanti Sebuah Harapan (Padi)

I’m glad he’s still in this competition in spite of the trainwreck last week. I’m aslo galad he got this song. Very laidback, relaxed - which is so him. There weren’t much musical distractions within the arrangement and that allowed me to hear the clarity of his voice and pleasant tone. I love him. Overall, the performance was nothing out of the ordinary, save for the uniqueness of his tone which I am absolutely in love with. A 7.5 out of 10.

Alif ~ Unwell (Matchbox Twenty - it’s TWENTY, not 20.. get your facts right, 8tv)

Another pleasant performance from Alif. If he’s not careful, he’s going to turn into my ex-roommate* (not the current racist, homophobic one) who thinks he’s Rob Thomas incarnate (bitch please) if he keeps getting Thomas’s songs. It was pleasant but perhaps a little too laidback for an intense, angry song. And what the hell was up with him smiling. That bothered me a little. He could’ve done better, I think. 6 out of 10.

Zai ~ Incomplete (Backstreet Boys)

The musical arrangemnet was different and I kinda liked it. As for Zai’s performance, it was better than last week but not by much, really. I miss Dina. That is all. And Syafinaz really ripped her a new one, didn’t she. Man, what a bitch!!!!! (for what it’s worth, that’s actually a compliment. Me likey). 5 out of 10.

Faizal ~ L.O.V.E (Ashlee Simpson)

ROFLMAO. Ashlee Simpson. To be fair, I’ve never heard the original song. Ashlee Fucking Simpson, are you shitting me? I would sooo rather cut my left nut than listen to that bitch’s crap. It seemed like Fazial pretty much understood the challenge and he performed it well. I was more than ready to get tired of the whole rocker style persona, but he did great given that shit of a song that was given to him. Ashlee Simpson. Come on! Seriously wtf? 8 out of 10.

Dayang ~ Selamanya (Innuendo)

Aik.. “suara saya sengau sikit je”? Mengaku sendiri, tak apa. So then why wasn’t she doing anything to rectify that, cause she certainly did sound kinda sengau to me in parts (well it’s her fault for pointing that out to me). I dunno. To me, it was good, but just a typical Dayang performance. She needs to do something to really wow the audience if she wants to win this thing. Unfortunately, I don’t think she achieved that with tonight’s performance. A 7 out of 10.

Farah ~ Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper)

I would love to say she butchered one of my favourite songs ever from the 80s. But she didn’t. That was excellent. Nice arrangements and she really did manage to make this song her own this time without straying away too much from the original. Nice. Loved it. Maybe, partly it was because we saw part of her old girl next door persona again. [Xandir P. Wifflebottom] Brava, Farah. Brava. [/Xandir P. Wifflebottom] 8.5 out of 10

Azfar ~ Kamu (Nitrus)

OMG I can’t believe they picked a Nitrus song!!! Speak of the devil* (see above Alif post), I remember listening to this raw demo in my ex-housemates car stereo and him asking for my input a few months ago. LOL. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned him in my post earlier. But really does bring back memories, so much so I feel compelled to have a few rounds of snooker with him tomorrow. As for Azfar, well I thought he was pretty decent. There was no over the top modulations which I came to expect from him, so that was good. 6.5 out of 10.

Suki ~ Pasangan Yang Tepat (Marshanda)

Wow, I’m very impressed that she can speak and sing in Malay very well. I’m not so familiar with the song, but it was pleasant enough. There was clarity in her voice which I liked, and I CANNOT AGREE WITH SYAFINAZ MORE! It was so much better that listening to some Malay singers singing in Malay but trying to sound so mat saleh with their words (you know what I mean). Diction bersepah tapi perasan omputeh.. camana tu? And I thought Paul was unnecessarily harsh on Suki. I would like to hear him speak in Malay sometimes. 2 sentences will do, for a start. Sheesh! Take a chill pill, dude. 7 out of 10.

One In A Million - Top 9

I think it’s really interesting that Dayang got both the highest IN votes as well as the highest OUT votes this week. It’s strange that so many people are so hellbent on seeing Dayang get out of the show that they’d actually PAY to do this. EVen though I’ve had my OUT picks every week (and my OUT pick DID get out this week), I did not once vote for this show. Actually just once for Zai before the Top 12 I think. I’m not here to defend Dayang, I just thought it was strange.. that’s all. And why the fuck was the guest judge giving comments on their performances last week at the CUrve when 99% of the viewers weren’t there to witness it? I mean, what good is that gonna do? Why weren’t the comments given immediately after the Curve performances, so they can better their performance during the live show last night? That was beyond retarded, in my opinion.

Task this week : Opening songs for a concert

Faizal - Are You Gonna Be My Girl (The Jets)

Clearly not his best, but his vocals are strong as usual but I got the impression that the performance wasn’t really rehearsed. Same old same old. It felt kinda lazy to me. I initially thought the guitar was just a prop.. cause it certainly seemed like it. A 6.5 out of 10.

Aliya - Sway (Michael Buble)

OMG Horrors of fucking horrors.. my housemate actually started doing his cha-chas terkangkang2 terkinja seorang diri around the room when this song came on. I was beyond embarassed cause I don’t know what the fuck was he on last night. As for Aliya’s performance, that was pretty bad. Her pronounciations failed miserably. Nope, her forte is definitely all the makcik2 ballads. 3 out of 10.

Azfar - Kasihnya Laila

Aiyo.. this guy is truly an Irama Malaysia singer lah. There’s no denying that. He’s pretty good but if you’re not into this genre, I don’t think he’d be appealing much to the listeners at all. 6 out of 10

Zai - Hit ‘Em Up Style (Blu Cantrell)

Mmmm takde lagu lain kan? I’m starting to believe Zai is a one trick pony. This song is right up her alley but personally I thought she failed to deliver a great performance. Definitely nothing to write home about. 5 out of 10

Dayang - Crazy In Love (Beyonce)

I was a tad excited when I heard she was gonna sing this song. I wondered if it would top up Guy Sebastian’s rendition. Though it was not as explosiv as last week’s performance, it was still really good. Vocal wise it wasn’t really all that.. but her diction. WOW. Perfecto. Again, the guest judge commented on improving her diction. I’m like.. WTF Hello? Were we watching the same show and listening to the same performance? I mean, Hello? Jaga diction? How fucking ridiculous was that? If anything, her diction was the only perfect thing going for her last night. Idiot. 8 out of 10.

Suki - Behind These Hazel Eyes (Kelly Clarkson)

She had no problems hitting the notes but her dictions should be improved. Funny the guest judge didn’t seem to think the diction comment was fitting in this case *rolleyes*. But yes, that was a pretty good and entertaining performance from Suki. A 7 out of 10.

Alif - Lonely No More (ROb Thomas)

I HATE Rob Thomas but I loved Alif’s acapella opening verse. That was genious, in my opinion. Didn’t really liked his stage performance. The guy’s still young and still has a lot to learn. But vocally, I think that was his best so far. 6.5 out of 10.

Lokman - Bad Day (Daniel Powter)

He fucked up the opening. Big time. And I think it contributed to his suckiness throughout the song. Was it obvious that he came off as a nervous wreck on stage? No, no, no.. that was all wrong. Sorry man. I have the exact same sentiments as Shafinaz. I like the song. I like this guy. And I like the tone of his voice, But that performance… s.u.c.k.e.d. 3 out of 10

Farah - Bilang Saja (Agnes Something)

Her start was promising, but why does her voice become inaudible in parts? It was kinda like cheating.. depended too much on the backing vocals. It was fun and energetic but still, there was the overextended final note again. YUCK. That said, the overall performance pretty much deserves at least a 7 out of 10.

So I was watching the show right, and then suddenly bak kata my friend, out of the blue moon, Marion announced that the voting is now over. I was like.. wtf? I didn’t realize voting was open all week long (not that sent in even a single one). I guess the show is trying to give AF a run for its money by opening the voting line all week, instead of like MI where it is open only for 2 days (and Rockstar just 4 hours). But whatever man… I can’t be surprised that Aliya, Mimi and Annie are all in the bottom 3. All are so forgettable. The only thing that was so mind numbingly annoying was the looping background music. If you missed it, watch out for it this week when they’re about to announce who’s leaving the show.

This week’s ‘challenge’ - Judges Choice and Press Conference Skills.

Suki ~ You Oughta Know (Alanis Morisette)

One of my least favourite Alanis tracks but Suki sung it well. So much better than Farah’s (or was it Nita’s) version from Malaysian Idol 2. Nevermind the fact that she didn’t deviate AT ALL from Alanis’ version, but it was still a great performance. Perhaps for the first time, I’m actually seeing what the huge fuss over Suki is all about. She’s still no Jac, though. 8.5 out of 10

Lokman ~ Generasiku (OAG)

He sounded really shaky in the beginning. That performance was terribly average. But that doesn’t deter the fact that I personally love the tone of his voice. He was flat out of breath by the end of his performance. I blame the judges’ choice. Ooh, and I just remembered how good Lokman sound singing English songs while watching the post-show diary. Biasalah, orang JB katakan. Muahahah 5.5 out og 10

Azfar ~ Manis (Zainal Abidin)

It was a good performance except for the fact that he keep reiterating his lenggoks and warblings every 15 seconds. That was super annoying in my opinion. If he had toned it down, it would’ve been so much better. 6 out of 10

Zai ~ I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing (Aerosmith)

I was quite surprised to hear that the first half of the song sounded a bit Melayu-ish. I dunno. Her performance left me with many different thought, some good, but mostly bad. Just singing the higher notes doesn’t make a performance all that, but apparently not many people share my feelings on this as can be seen from the audience’s reactions to her performance.  6.5 out of 10.

Dayang ~ Survivor (Destiny’s Child)

Wow. I’m truly impressed. That was really good. Regardless the fact that she’s an established artist or not, but that was superb. She can be mistaken for the real Beyonce (if not for her height and her clothes). I’m not a fan of Dayang, nor have I ever been verklempt over any of her live performances, but that was HOT! Brilliant. Loved it. 10 out of 10.

Ameen ~ Hatiku Luka Lagi (Black Dog Bone)

There’s no point in me beating behind the bush. I just don’t like his voice. There’s just too many Anuar Zain’s floating around in the industry today. 4 out of 10.

Aliya ~ Tentang Dia (Melly Goestow)

I’m just impressed that she didn’t have a single pitching problem. So why was’t I exactly over the moon with her performance? Again, I think it goes back to the song choice. Sure it’s a new song, but it still sounds old, Syafinaz. 6 out of 10

Farah ~ Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler)

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku Astaghfirullahalazimmmmm.. sapa la yg jadi penyanyi background tu. Gila sengau. Org sengau kalau dgr pun mesti tergelak agaknya. Anyway, that was a thousand fold better than last week. I guess the only problem that I have with Farah is no matter how good she sounds, it always seem like she’s struggling with the song. And she always tend to oversing the final note. Yuck. 7 out of 10.

Faizal ~ With A Little Help From My Friends (The Beatles)

Superb. Excellent voice control. Excellent stage presence. Awesome. There’s nothing more to say. 9 out of 10

Alif ~ Mama Tolong Percaya (Exist)

I loathe this song. That said, it was as weak as Lokman’s performace, but I prefer Lokman’s voice over his. 5 out of 10.

I have to say that I am truly intrigued by the notion that you can actually vote someone OUT of the competition. Is it the first of its kind? This is the the actual REAL Vote For The Worst dealio, people!!! But as tempting as the idea sounds, I told myself I’m not gonna waste a single cent on any reality shows this year (although admittedly, I had actually sent in a single vote for Zai to get in the show two weeks ago). And their concept of voting people to keep IN the competition actually works the same as the exemption from The Apprentice (the new one starts on Malaysian TV this Sunday, and as much as I loved the drama in Apprentice 5 I’m not gonna rewatch the season and will be tuning to HBO’s Entourage instead) whereby the contestant with the highest IN votes this week, wins immunity next week and cannot be voted out.

The first actual performances starts off this week. The contestants are told to sing a choice of song that they would want as their first commercial single. Contestants are also asked what they would do if they won the money. And as our guest judge, Ahmad Izham, mentioned this is actually the first local singing reality show to ever give a CASH prize money of 1 million ringgit. (The only other show that I could think of was More’s Jutaria and we all knew the hell that broke loose when that guy won the money). Anyway, all my comments were written during the performances (as it always have been) so I’m a little surprised as to how some of my comments were echoed by the judges).

And just for the record (again), I would like to say that I am currently living with the most racist and homophobic asshole on the planet who can’t shut his yap when the show is on. What I wouldn’t give to shove something not very nice is his mouth. Goddamn, I just can’t wait to move to my own place next year. That just won’t come soon enough.

Alif ~ Pria Terhebat

Wants to win the million dollars to go to Berkeley and study music (GREAT!) and open a music academy for the disabled (how freakin pseudo noble and naive).. I was totally unimpressed with his performance and I thought he sounded way much better in his previous performances. It was actually really bad and could be due to the jitters from being the first one to perform. A 3.5 out of 10

Zai ~ Killing Me Softly

Wants to win the million dollars so that she can hire a personal trainer and lose weight (she lost some R.E.S.P.E.C.T points from me for that, don’t ask me why.. basically says how she is not all that okay with the current image that she’s portraying despite what she’s trying to fool us into believing how she’s all comfortable and couldn’t care less and all that crap. If you’re big boned, you’re big boned. I mean, she’s out to prove that Malaysians shouldn’t be so shallow when it comes to appearances, and what she wants when she wins the money? A total image makeover. I just don’t get the contradiction. Unless of course, if it’s because of some real health issues. Oh who cares.) and get quality songwriters to work on her album. Undoubtedly one of the best singers in the competition. Her intro was a bit out of tempo but R&B is definitely her genre. It was kinda awesome. A 7.5 out of 10.

Azfar ~ Salsabilla

Wants to win the million dollars so that he can use it for his album, promotions and have a tv show (wtf?). Seriously, is this guy somehow related to Azalina Osman? His voice is pretty good although I’m not too fond of this song at all. He is probably just a bit better than Saiful from the first Malaysian Idol (and much less campy) but look where he is now. A 6 out of 10.

Anny ~ Biarlah Rahsia

Wants the million to work on her album, send her parents for Haj and savings for the future (pretty wise). There’s a reason why Sairah was not included in the competition. We do not need anotehr Siti in the industry. Sure her voice is good and she carries the Siti song well but there’s just nothing about the performance (or even herself, mind you) that really stands out. A 5 out of 10.

Suki ~ Underneath Your Clothes

Wants the million to work on an outstanding album, turn that into a hit and multiply her money and possibly open up an institute (pretty smart about multiplying her money). Okay, I’ll say this. She’s good but overrated. She IS good but far from perfect and I’m still not seeing what special quality that Paul sees in her. I loved her choice of song, by the way. A 7 out of 10.

Farah ~ Baby One More Time

I missed her intro so I don’t really know (nor do I care) what she plans to do with the money. It was also most definitely the worst Farah performance I’ve ever seen. She’s trying so hard to shed that bubble gum princess image of hers and it just doesn’t work. Bad move. And I was actually secretly rooting for her before this. And just FYI, this stupid fucking Baby One More Time rendition is getting so old. Hello. Travis did it six goddamn years ago and it’s really nothing new. A 2 out of 10

Mimi ~ Fantasia Bulan Madu

Wants the million to help her family, work on her career as a singer by coming up with quality songs by overseas composers (apparently there’s something wrong with local talent). Judges, if you want to see reinterpretation, this was it. I wasn’t a fan of hers especially after her choice of a fucking Ashlee Simpson some weeks ago, but I thought she did pretty good. And as for this being her first single, I could totally see a collaboration between herself and the band Search that would generate buzz. A 7 out of 10.

Faizal ~ I Don’t Wanna Be

Wants to use the million to study music and gives something back to the music industry. He didn’t really leave much of an impression on me earlier but dude, that was awesome. (The song also reminds me of Elliot.. goddamn you Taylor Hicks) I’m sorry but there is nothing I don’t like about that performance. Well except maybe for the lesbian hair. An 8.5 out of 10.

Dayang ~ Aku Cinta Padamu

Wants the money for her album and somehow spread her wings internationally. This was actually a performance that had me rolling my eyes for real. As good as it was, it felt more clubbish than anything. I’ve decided to exclude her from my ratings and rankings. It just doesn’t feel right to put her up against the other amateurs.

Aliya ~ Menghitung Hari

Wants the million to create her dream album, get local and regional composers, get a professional image and send her parents for Haj. It was actually pretty pleasant and I didn’t think she fucked it up that much. I thought it was a nice song choice that suits her style and personality. A 5.5 out of 10

Ameen ~ More Than Words

Wants the million, turn that into 10 million, get professional help for local and international market, and sing a duet with Usher. But I hate this fucking song. Fuck this shit of a song that have been bludgeoned to death by so many singers destroying its original beauty, and this guy is no exclusion. I cannot forgive him for this and he will suffer for picking this song. And bitch please, perlu ke tayang dada takde bulu tu. Aiyerr.. A 2 out of 10.

Lokman ~ Kau Bukan Kekasih

Didn’t get what he was gonna use the million ringgit for. Despite his anak ikan factor, I truly like the tone of his voice. Luv luv luv. Very nice and truly pleasant for the ears. Not sure how to describe it. His voice is laidback and doesn’t really WOW you, know what I mean? But I love it. I can actually see myself enjoying listening to his song on the radio. And the fact that he’s from JB just makes me want to love him more. A 7.5 out of 10.

I haven’t updated this blog since ages, cause I’ve been so busy at work, I have a magazine deadline in two days, and I’ve just spent the most stressful 30 days ever since May 20th 2006, but more on that later.

Just wanted to give a short update on One In A Million.. which is probably the only thing that I watch in real time on the television. The summer season sucks! There is NOTHING good on television. So, anyway, I was watching One In A Million tonight.. and what is up with all the fucking sob stories? Excuse me, was I tuning in to Melodi, or Akademi Fantasia? Sikit2 menangis, sikit2 meluahkan hati, sikit2 emo. Aiyooooooooooooooo. Shaddup shaddup shaddup!!! Actually nothing much to update la.. I was just pleased with myself for guessing the first singer was Farah from MI2.. it’s easy to distinguish her from the rest because of her vocals and more importantly her clear English diction. I hope she makes it to the Final 10. I gotta say, this bunch is better than the one we had from Malaysian Idol 2, I tell ya.

And while we’re on AF, can I just say how disgusting and sickening that show is becoming? Aaaa you guys ada gaduh2 ke tadi.. dia merajuk ke.. AIYOOOOOOOOOOOOO bile aku dgr, rasa macam nak bagi flying kick je sekor2. Putrid adolescent shit. I don’t mind the actual competition, but all those scripted drama shit.. aarghhhhhhh. Termasuklah tenaga2 pengajar diorg yg overdose mengalahkan Tyra Banks tatkala dia mengamuk naik hantu.

Enough about that. So about the past 30 days in hell? Well, I joined an online Survivor game over at ImmunityIdol.net .. and it made me realise that this truly IS a hard game. I know I’ve said I would be a great player, but I had NO idea it was gonna be this difficult. Playing an online Survivor game might sound ultra dorkish, but this was great fun! They recruited players from Fantasy Game Central and also from Survivor Sucks, and we all had to assume a Survivor character in the game, without revealing our true identities. The premise was superb, as we really were all ’strangers’, we weren’t able to contact each other outside the game.. basically other than the challenges, it’s the closest thing an online game can get to the actual Survivor game.

Jeff Probst (the host) will be writing out 2 episodes per week, culminating to the revealing of the winner (the game has ended but nobody knows who won). So if you’re interested, or bored to death with the shits that on the telly these days, give the recaps a try. I think the first episode will be coming up this Sunday, and I will post a link to it here.

I’d rather not say which character I played during the game. I could be the first person voted out, or I could just made the merge…. Anyway, look out for the episodes coming your way soon.

Well, rumour has it that the 3rd season of Malaysian Idol has been shelved by The Powers That Be, but in actual fact, it has only been postponed to a later date this year. So, in its place is 8tv’s latest foray into reality television.. One In A Million. Initially, I didn’t want to make any comments on the show. Yet, anyway, since it’s only the audition rounds. However, there were some parts of the show that’s worth mentioning.

First up, the theme song sucks. Secondly, for a show called One In A Million where the prize is a million ringgit, I thought the show’s introduction looked really cheap. Please, a school drop out with a decent video editing tool could come up with a better montage.

I still haven’t made an opinion on the show hosts - Alam and Marion (although I do love Marion from her Quickie stints), but so far they’re better than the ultra-tergedik2 Cheryl Samad. The first segment of the show where they explained what the show was all about had a really SSTS (snickering softly to self) moment. The part where they said, “to become an artist, you can send in a demo tape, meet producers, and they help you write songs etc etc etc OR you can enter a reality competition show” followed quickly by “but that won’t guarantee you success”. And lo and behold, what montage did they use in the background? That’s right.. our very own Malaysian Idol from the second season. Hmmm I wonder if they’re trying to imply something. ssts.

Anyway, for a competition that’s not limited to a certain age limit or bound by the fact that they are ‘established’ artist.. I was surprised that the turn-out was as only as good.. (in other words, AS BAD) as the normal Malaysian Idol auditions.

I mean, if I was already a recording artist, why shouldn’t I do it? RM 1 million is a lot of money. And I doubt even 5% of our local artists even make that much in a year based on their music recordings. Sure, your ego might be crushed when you lose the show to an amateur, but hell, it’s a million dollars at stake. That’s a lot of money.

So, instead of really talented people turning up for the auditions, we get .. you know.. normal people (when we’re lucky). Other times, it’s just people trying to sing English songs with very very bad diction. Sorry but singing with bad diction is a sin. I can’t even forgive Siti Nurhaliza for that. Stick to your own mother tongue.

But all is not lost. If anything we are also treated to some good humour tonight. I mean, I never knew Kellie Pickler has had a sex operation and is now working at a carpet store in Sabah.

“Siapa nama awak?”
“My name is Nizam”
“What are you gonna sing for us?”
“…. What?”
“Lagu apa yang awak nak nyanyi”
“Jibun”
“?!@??!*?”
“Lagu Jibun dari band Hong Kong”
“Mmm okay.. apa nama awak tadi?”
“My name is Nizam”

Aiyo… my pregnant friend called me up and had fits of laughter till she really was out of breath. I feared that she might accidentally give birth right there and then. It’s amazing how similar MyNameIsNizam is with Kellie Pickler. I feel slightly dumb right after watching that.

As for the judges, Paul Moss is.. well Paul Moss. He makes sense most of the time, so he’s cool in my books. As for Syafinaz. What a breath of fresh air. No more “Saya setuju dgn apa Abg Roslan cakap”,”Baju awak cantik”,”Saya suka style awak” Gee crap. Here is a woman who (so far) seems like she at least know something about singing, and she’s not afraid to be a bitch with her comments. They’ve made wise choice to go with her for this show.

So.. looking forward to the KL auditions next week. We’ll be seeing Dayang and Farah and possibly some other people in the industry auditioning for the show. Can’t wait.

Oh, and can we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave all the fucking sob stories out of the show? COme on, this is not Akademia Fantaspastika.

On a side note, I would like to make a brief comment on the American Idol finale, but I’m too lazy. Let’s just say, I thought that was one of the most entertaining 2-hour show I’ve watched this year. They were able to camp it up and laugh at themselves, and though the performances weren’t exactly mind blowing, they were all very entertaining (seeing how drunk Meatloaf and Toni Braxton was). The highlight of the show for me was seeing Dionne Warwick performing beautifully with the idols, and at the end of it all, she had a really bad, noticeable, major FUCKED UP note. That was fucking hysterical. ROTFLMAO. Oh and MonkeyBoy should’ve won. Oh and Egghead still sucks. Oh and Acehole still can’t sing for shit. Oh and Kellie has changed her name to MyNameIsNizam.