Culturally Preconditioned

• I finally realized that I honestly don’t care who wins American Idol this year. The overpimping of the two Davids  by the judges are exteremly ridiculous. Predictions : Jason going out next.. then Syesha.. then Brooke. Final Two between the Davids and Archuletta wins.
• Iron Man was actually pretty good considering it’s rather lame trailer. Didn’t think of Robert Downey Jr of being a superhero.. but he’s not bad (better him than Nicolas Cage)
• How do you work with a colleague who’s suffering from acute verbal diarrhea syndrome (also known as the Not Knowing When To Shut The Bloody Hell Up disease)? Earplugs.

*sheds a single happy tear*

Found a little gem posted at the AXN forum :

“I’d rather be locked in a room with a thousand TWoP Mirna haters and have Miss Alki torture me with a blunt pencil, than be stuck with those AXN twats. ”
- izad, (who happens to be a fellow Asian)

this statement comes from Sucks, i have read this since i’m also a poster there… for me it’s really an insult for us because they are underestimating us..

http://survivorsucks.yuku.com/topic/22512/t/TAR-Asia-2–team-s-SEETHING-HATE-THREAD-Episode-8-Spoiler.html?page=10

link ^

People can be sooo terribly sensy these days. Sorry, but that made me laugh. It really did. But have you seen the state of that forum lately? I’ve bashed the admins, the posters, the blind supporters and what nots and even McKay himself, think I will be bothered by that little comment? Think again.

Let’s put it this way.. I do not post to be LIKED and LOVED. I post stuff that most of us think in our heads anyway.. I just say it (or rather post it) out loud. These rampant idiots still seem to think I dislike Marc & Roviltwat because they are mactors. WRONG. Aurelia is a mactor, and I loved her. I hate them because of the constant camera-mugging. If it’s genuinely funny, I can deal with it. But they’ve churned out nothing but lame, scripted dialogues. How fucking DARE I say such things and go against the flow? Forgive me for having a mind of my own. FORGIVE ME FOR NOT STICKING WITH THE ASIAN PEEPS AND BOW DOWN TO TWAT AND TWATTERS! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! I SHOULD PUT TO DEATH FOR TREASON! yeah right.. dumbasses. LOL

Seriously, just go and see the state of that forum.. it is a little scary.

Anyway, as for TAR12.. omg yay! That was the perfect birthday gift for Jenn! I couldn’t imagine a better outcome for last night’s episode. Sure Jenn and Nate may be entertaining to watch, but if they get in the Final 3 with two ‘weaker’ teams, they would need to fuck it up really bad, to NOT win. And them winning is really like a slap to the face.. it’s like a reward for being the bitchiest, whiniest, self entitled cunt on tv.

Who do I want to win? I can be happy with any of them winning. TK and Rachel might be boring, but they seem to be enjoying the race. I still can’t quite feel the love for Ron but Christina winning would be awesome. And having the grandson/granddad team win would be the ultimate underdog story. So yay! If only the Goths were in the Final 3, it would be the best Final 3 since Charla & Mirna, Dustin & Kandice and Danny & Oswald in The Amazing Race All Star

I’m not listening! I’m not listening!!!!

Happy New Year, everyone! I’m still in mourning over the Goths’ elimination on The Amazing Race 12. Actually, I missed the show on New Year’s eve.. but some asshole over on the AXN forum had read the play-by-play and posted “THE GOTHS ARE ELIMINATED” as a thread title in the forum in the afternoon, even though the episode hasn’t aired yet in the US. And the mods there didn’t do shit about it. They did however warned posters to go easy on Terri and Henry over at that board. What retards (the board admins). I’m so glad we have the dictator Idoit Admins over at the Sucks forum. They are ruthless, but they get their jobs done. I don’t know, is it just me, or does local message boards suck ass? I mean the level of idiocy in the posts is one thing (case in point, Malaysian Idol forum, One in A Million forum, Akademi Fantatsia forum, Cari forum etc), the level of adminship too is pretty appalling. They could learn a thing or two from ‘proper message boards’ like Sucks or even TWoP (for the love of Mirna, please don’t quote me on that). I mean, there is a ginormous mentality gap between these boards. Sarcasm, for one thing, is certainly lost on them. The ability to poke fun and laugh at themselves is even more impossible to find than tubgirl’s G-spot. Hang on.. where the fuck am I going with this? Oh yeah, the amazing race asia.

Teams set off from Busan, Korea where they had to drive themselves to Anseong-Si City. I think this may be the first time teams are shown having great difficulty driving on the other side of the road. I know I probably would’ve had a tough time too. They had to drive themselves to Seoil Farm where there’s a Roadblock - to search for their clue underneath 1,500 soybean tempayans. There was also a bonus clue where one lucky team would get a $50 bonus from Standard Chartered. Aisehmen.. kalau nak letak product placement pun, letak la $500 ke. $1000 ke.. ciput nak mampos. Anyway I don’t really see a point announcing this bonus, since in TARA2, they never disclosed how many moolahs each team gets at the beginning of the leg (unlike the original TAR).

Once done, they had to drive to Woncheon Resoirt in Suwon where they had to paddle a duckie float to get to their next clue. It may be tiring for the racers, but it sure was mind numbingly boring to watch for the viewers. They next had to drive themselves to the Korean Folk Village where they are faced with a detour between (1) Too Ho - where teams had to toss 3 bamboo sticks into a container from 4.5 meters away, or (2) Too Heavy - where teams had to deliver 30 logs using a Korean Jingei.. or was it Jigei? Upon completing the detour, teams had to drive themselves to the next pitstop at the Olympic Park in Korea. In the order of their arrival at the pitstop :

1. Marc & Roviltwat - I still find their little quips revolting but surprisingly they are not as annoying this week. Perhaps the editors are toning them down, to soften the blow when they win yet another leg next?? If that happens, then just fuck me. Fuck me raw with a serrated knife, now.
2. Adrian & Colin - Yay! These guys almost kicked M&R’s asses. They did really well during this leg of the race, only to lose their placements a couple of times due to bad directions/driving. Please guys, at this rate, you are my only hope to put those two idjits above you in their proper place.
3. Pam & Vanessa - Loving the Chong sisters still (despite finding out one of them is probably dating Roviltwat). Notice how they always elongate the final syllable of the final word in their sentences when they’re frustrated? LOL so damn Malaysian oooooooone.(Personally I loved it when one of them said DAMN LAHH). I would take this accent over exagerrated non-Asian dialects that we’re getting on this show (yeah you know who they are). But what the fuck was up with the blaming game? Just stop it already.. stop harping on the fact that you lost your lead. Fortunately their head was still in the game. I was overjoyed when they actually gained back their 3rd placing after fucking up badly with their driving.
4. Ann & Diane - I’m starting to get why certain teams are annoyed with this team. The way that they just brushed off Paula & Natasha when they bumped into each other was simply ugly. I mean, what the hell was up with the cold shoulder? I mean, I get this is a race, and every team for themselves yada yada yada.. but would a simple “hello” or “whats up” hurt?? Diane has posted at Sucks (if that is really her), explaining that they were too focused on the race, but come on! Urgh! I’m disappointed, but at least they managed to improve their placement this week. I always think the way to approach this race is to be friends with everyone. And, you know, backstab them when it really matters. LOL
5. Paula & Natasha - I love the fact that these two were able to laugh at themselves over the whole ‘2 seconds too late to realize that the float was still tied to the dock’ incident. They seem to be enjoying themselves. Reminds me of Aubrey and Jacq from TARA1. Only more competent. (I have to stop reminding myself that they are Team Thailand.. cause that will only make me weep for reminding me of Andy & Laura - future runner-up winners of TARA All Star)
6. Terri & Henry - I’m too fucking tired to rant over this lost case. She STILL doesn’t seem to get it, even after Henry’s tearful confessional (which was totally wasted on her). I mean, I like sassy women. In small doses. I like when women give some of their attitude. In small doses. She does remind me of Foxxy Love from Drawn Together (best character ever). In small doses. But this is just all too much. Blame Henry for being wimpy. Blame Terri having too much balls. Blame the editors for making them look bad. Whatever. I’m just glad I don’t know anyone like her in my real life. Like I said, she stopped being entertaining around Episode 2. Whether she’s still on the race or not, like the expressions on her face when Alan mentioned it was a non-elimination leg, I simply do.not.give.a.flying.fuck.anymore.

Just a quick review of the 2007 Resolutions I made earlier this year.

(1) Finish up at least a chapter for my novel-in-progress every month

Yes yes yes.. that goddamn Daud In Distress is putting me in distress. FUCK YOU, DAUD. Anyway, I’ve decided to be more realistic. Personally the whole NaNoWriMo thingy puts too much of a pressure. I might still attempt it this year, but not on my precious baby. This baby needs careful thought and time put into it. So, we’ll start a chapter a month. That seems plausible.

— BWAHAHAHAA are you kidding me? I’ve retitled the title to Distressed Daud.. Is Dead in November. And I only got up to a paragraph of that.. so.. I have totally FAILED miserably for this one —

(2) Finish reading at least one novel a month

I’m currently trying to read two novels a month. One novel lies on my workdesk in the office. And the other lies on my bedside table. Theoretically, I can always squeeze in 30-45 minutes everyday for these novels, but there’s always.. I don’t know. I would like to say ‘distraction’, but it’s not. It’s just excuses. There’s internet connection on my workdesk, and there’s also internet connection on my bedside table. That’s the culprit, right there. And don’t ask me to read on my 1.5 hours commute to/from work everyday, that’s time for my iPod.

— Well I’ve managed start reading about 8 novels this year, and I think I only finished half of that. I don’t know what the hell is the matter with me. I used to read a LOT before. Urgh.. I should put more effort into this. Verdict : FAILURE —

(3) Actually send in application form and video for TAR Asia

I have actually filled in 75% of the application form, but we ran out of time, trying to beat the deadline. We needed more time to think of a catchy and interesting application video. By hook or by crook, I’ll make damn sure that we send in an application if there’s going to be a Season 2 of TAR Asia. I will still be putting in ‘Lucy Lawless’ to describe my team mate, but I’m still undecided on choosing which 3 adjectives to describe myself. Judgemental? Foul mouthed? Lardass? Slightly camp? Obnoxious? God.. this is impossible.

— SUCCESS!!!! Even though we didn’t get a callback, that’s fine.. at least I’m not kicking myself for not doing it (ps. fuck you TARA2 casting assholes). And for what it’s worth… the three adjectives I chose to describe myself were (in order) 1. Sarcastic 2. Witty 3. Uninhibited. Maybe next time I’ll put 1. Everything opposite of Roviltwunt 2. Everything opposite of Roviltwunt 3. Everything opposite of Roviltwunt —-

(4) Save and put away 20% of my salary (untouched till next year)

Now this actually seems plausible, putting away 20%, since my car loan only has a few payments left. I’ll be a free man soon. FREE I TELL YA!!! But then again, there’s still that fucking house loan to settle. Anyway, I’ll try to put away that 20%.. but letting it stay untouched will be the most hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. My prediction for this is that I will fail miserably.

— FAILED miserably with the ‘untouched’ part —

(5) Try out at least 20 new dining places (!!)

Okay, kinda contradicts with my number (4) plan but what the hell. Twenty seems like a reasonable number to spread out over a year. And with the abundant food blogs that we have around, I’m 100% sure this will not.be.a.problem.whatsoever.

— SUCCESS! A little too much though… the ones that I remember.. at the top of my head : Bujang Lapok Cafe, Jombali Cafe, Rakuzen Hartamas, Tambak Johor Shah Alam, Kluang Station, that place in Lygon Street, Fitzroy Street, the Docklands and the Harbour, Koko Black, Santai Tesco, Rakuzen Chulan Square, Puzzini, Tony Roma’s, Kari Kepala Ikan Bangsar, Chef & Brew, Just Heavenly Pleasures, Ichiban, Restoran Sup Adabi (VILE), Azim’s Burget @ Rasta (EXTREMELY OVERRATED AND SUPER VILE), Delicious Bangsar Village, Suchan, Hooked, Uncle Lim’s, Big Apple Donut, Raja Sup, Cheng Lock Laksa, Siam Corner Oldtown, Kura One World, Asam Pedas Royal Bintang, Santai Taman Tun, Ayam Penyet Ria, Vienna Bagels, Mariott Putrajaya,  Shabu Shabu, Siam Express, Shangri La, J Co, that Italian place in Streetmall, that Udang Petai restaurant in TTDI, Anjung Merah.. and last but not least.. FUCKING KRISPY KREME!!!! If I had to forgo everything on that list for just Krispy Kreme, I would do it in a heartbeat. Seriously.. Krispy Kreme > Dunkin Donuts + Big Apple + JCo combined. When the FUCK is the franchise coming over to our shores?? (I’m guessing you might’ve just gained a few pounds just a few pounds after reading this lardass post) —

(6) Lose 10 kilos (sure, why not)

Sorta contradicts with my number (5) plan but well, since everyone’s doing it nowadays.. *rolleyes*. It’s not impossible though. I think I just have to eat sensibly. But I’m still sticking to the no-gym rule. Hell, if I can lose 18 kilos in 6 months before, I sure as hell can lose 10 kilos in 12 months!

— Urgh FAILURE. I lost SOME initially, and then gained MORE. I can’t help but being a fat bastard. Mmmm krispy kremeeeessssss mmmm One Doughnut To Rule Them All *mega drool* —

(7) Stay at my current workplace and not look for new jobs

Yeah one of the more toughest challenge for me, personally. I get bored quickly, but so far, things are working out okay. Granted that everything ain’t exactly hunky dory over here, I still get to go back from work at 5pm sometimes (only to be called up at 2 and 3 am in the fucking morning).. but everywhere you go, you’re still gonna get some form of shit from work no matter what company you are. If it’s not shit, it ain’t work. So I might as well try and stay here in hoping that I will get some sort of bonus this year.

— Ummm.. FAILURE, but in all fairness, I don’t give a shit cause I fucking LOVE my new job and new workplace (granted we’ll be outsourced in a couple of months time).. and technically, I didn’t look for this new job, the new job found me (my resume was in their resume bank for the past 3 years).. so, I’m going to change this to success —

(8) Hold at least one awesome party at my new apartment

The challenge is not in holding an awesome party itself. The challenge is preparing the awesome environment in my brand new apartment. First step, getting that dream kitchen of mine in place. So that means more money.. which in turn contradicts my number (4) plan. Fucker. Well in any case, I will hold a decent housewarming party when the apartment is done, with or without that damn kitchen.

— FAILURE.. but not my fault since I will only be receiving the keys to my new apartment in a couple of days. OMG I’m moving into my own place in a couple of weeks!!! NO MORE ROOMIES EVAHHH!!!! (and yes, yes.. the lamb rack WILL be served) —

(9) Cancel off one credit card

If I can do this one, I will be most happy (forget the fact that I have eleventy billion other credit cards). This will be hard to do, but not entirely impossible. In fact, it’s a must do.

— SUCCESS!!! I didn’t think I could do it.. but I did! Yay me! 1 down, 26 credit cards to go. Credit cards = The passport to hell —

(10) Stick to at least 50% of my resolution

Hope springs eternal, eh?

— Let’s see… Success for (3) (5) (9).. Failure for (1) (2) (4) (6).. Failure but kinda not (7) (8)…. BAHHH!!! Who am I kidding? Number (10) is a big fat FAILURE. I should lower down the figure for next year’s (will be posted sometime before midnight tonight — if I can be bothered) —
 

Wow.. it seems like it was only yesterday that I made this post on the Must Watch TV Shows of 2006-2007. Heroes was basically the only good call I made last year. Jericho was a great show too, but because of the extra long hiatus over the Christmas period, I quickly lost interest (the show was then cancelled, much to my surprise, but was revived once again when viewers complained about the abrupt cancellation. I might download the rest of Season 1 if I have nothing else to do. I did NOT, however, start watching Brothers & Sisters. It sounded like a borefest, kinda like Touched Like An Angel dramacrap that I just couldn’t be bothered with. For those who’s interested, I think Star World is picking this up soon.

Other shows that I did latch on to based on friends’ recommendations last year. Top Chef - for those who truly love culinary programs, this IS the ultimate show for you. I’m so glad it won an Emmy nomination this year, cause frankly speaking, it deserved to win. It’s new, it’s fresh, not to be confused with Iron Chef, I can only give high praises to this show and hope our local tv stations will pick it up soon. And while we’re on culinary show, on the other side of the spectrum, we have Hell’s Kitchen - a show hosted by the infamous chef Gordon Ramsey. It was only after I picked up the show that 8tv starting showing this on TV. It’s basically a show to watch Chef Ramsey blow his top every single episode.. and even though that was completely delicious to watch, the ‘chefs’ competing in the show is a laugh compared to those on Top Chef.

I also picked up The Class - an ensemble comedy written by some of the writers from the Friends sitcom. I am disappointed that this show was cancelled, because it was one of the very few scripted comedies that made me laugh out loud on more than a few occassions. Although I’m guessing lots of people were feeling it had too much of a Ross-Rachel thing going on. Speaking of Friends, I also watched HBO’s The Comeback - a comedy written using the same format as The Office and 30 Rock, it follows Valerie Cherish (played by the fabulous Lisa Kudrow <3 <3 <3), a failing TV actress trying to make a comeback into show business. Hands down, this was the BEST comedy I've seen this year. And we all know my favorite shows tend to get cancelled.. so it did. Fuck you HBO (and Fuck You for cancelling Carnivale too). Other comedies that I picked up.. well Ugly Betty. It’s camp, it’s loud, it’s very telenovella-ish, and I’m proud to say that I enjoy watching this show.

Okay, after the LONG summer hiatus (which prompted me to watch Big Brother 8, filled with the most despicable cast in the history of television), it’s time to get on with the new shows. Granted that I haven’t really checked all of the schedule (some of the shows will be premiering in January like Amazing Race 12 and Lost - which by the way, you can hate it as much as you want, but Lost Season 3 had the best.ending.ever. compared to the other scripted show), so I’ll just start with what I’m currently watching right now.

Top Chef Season 3

The show is coming to an end - the finale is just around the corner, but this is worth a mention. If I need to replace Survivor and Amazing Race on my tv schedule, this would be the show to do it. The show is fun, there’s drama - but not the kind of forced drama that they shove right into your faces, the cooking competitions are fun to watch, and you’ll get at least 8 or more new recipes weekly. The creativity that the chefs show certainly give an aspiration to fellow culinary lovers everywhere. 10 thumbs up!

Psych - Season 2

I first caught the show while browsing through Astro. It was the series premier (season 1 episode 1). I didn’t know it was a regular tv show as the run time for the episode was almost feature length (at more than 1.5 hours). Regardless, the premier was so funny and wiity, that I immediately downloaded the entire Season 1after watching the first episode on TV. If you haven’t seen this show.. it’s like a comedic CSI. LOL I know that sounds silly, but it’s one of those show where you can just watch and relax and enjoy. (Season 3 will be airing next year)

Heroes - Season 2

Season 2 just premiered earlier this week. And you’d think after all my close encounter of the Heroes cast, I’d be salivating over everything that they churn out. NOT. The premier was fucking disappointing (yes, I’ll call it shit, if I think it is shit). I do love the fact that David Anders is probably going to be one of the regular (I loved him as Sark in Alias, but he brings an almost goody aspect to his character in this show), but the premier was honestly trying to jam so much stuff into our throats. Take a chill pill, why don’t ya. It was messy and I don’t like it.. but is that going to stop me from watching the show? Are you crazy? I just hope the show will pick up soon. Oh and I usually hate spin offs, but Heroes: Origins sounds like something that I will truly enjoy.

Ugly Betty - Season 2

This show continues to amaze me. Perfect balance of drama, humor, mystic, pop culture and conflict. And the season premier.. wow. Excellent is the only way to put it without giving up too many away at this point in time (for those of you who haven’t seen it).

Survivor : China

It’s only been two episiodes, but I have a gut feeling that this will be one of the best seasons yet! I LOVE this season. Maybe it’s due to the fact that it was filmed in China (awesome scenery), or maybe it’s due to the fact that we’re back to having just 16 contestants, and no more of that mumbo jumbo racial quota (that sucked monkey balls, btw). The first two episodes are awesome. Moral dilemmas are raised within the first 5 minutes of the show, when the contestants were asked to join in a Buddhist ceremony (a Christian radio show host politely declined to do it, and frankly speaking, I applaud her for standing what she believes in). The cast shows a lot of promise. But most importantly, I just found out that Todd is a Suckster! OMFG. One of us actually made it on to the show.. and it’s pretty cool that he’s one of the guys I’m rooting for because finding out he was a Suckster in the first place. This is going to be an AWESOME season. (insert obligatory FUCK YOU NTV7 comment right here). My early favorites : Todd, Amanda and James. And I sure hope Zhan Hu self destructs soon. Zhan Hu

Californication - Season 1 (new show!)

A new show on the Showtime network. This show basically focus on a writer (played by David Duchovny) iand his fucked up life in Hollywood. Sounds like a been there, done that, right? Well, wrong. The show is called Californication for a damn good reason, and if I were to sum up the show, it has to be a tostesterone-driven Sex in The City. The comedy is wickedly good, but some friends have commented that this show is catered too much for the male viewers, but I digress. Awesome awesome awesome.

Dirty Sexy Money - Season 1 (new show!)

How can forty minutes of television be so fucking fucked up? Well watch this show and you’ll see how. Two friends recommended this show to me, and boy, am I glad they did! The show is about the ultra rich Darling family, and the family lawyer (played by Peter Krausse of HBO’s Six Feet Under - one of the best shows to ever grace our television) who’s out to handle all these weird socilaite behaviours. It’s hard to explain, but I totally fucking love this show. And the ringtones are a hoot! LOL

The Amazing Race Asia - Season 2 (coming soon!)

Well I was tipped off by one of the contestants, Sophie (watch her video diary), on my blog that she was one of the contestants. From that instant, fellow spoilers have gone totally crazy.. and the good folks at RealityFanForum have searched high and low and provided us the details (and pictures!) of the contestants.

TARA 2 TEAM LIST (courtesy of peach and the rest of the spoiling crew at RFF):

1) Hong Kong: Sophie Teng 27 (writer)/ Aurelia Chenat 24 (former model) former roommates
2) Hong Kong: Monica Lo (former Miss International)/ Edwin Lo (event organizer) dating couple
3) Singapore: Adrian Yap 27 (business manager)/ Colin Low 35 (sales director) gym partners–Adrian is 1st hearing impaired racer
4) Philippines: Rovilson Fernandez / Marc Nelson (TV Hosts)
5) Thailand: Paula Taylor (VJ model)/ Natasha best friends
6) Philipines : Henry Reed (retired US Navy officer)/ Terri (Henry’s wife) husband/wife
7) Indonesia: Brett Money (physiotherapist, Jakarta)/ Kinar Yosih (actress/model)
8) Japan: Daichi /Sawaka Kawashima formerly estranged brother/sister
9) Malaysia: Ann/Dianne not seen in photograph (dancing mums)
10) Malaysia: Vanessa/Pamela Chong (sisters of Malaysian reality TV song winner Victor Chong)

I believe this show will start sometime in Novermber, so it looks like we’re going to have TARA2 before TAR12 comes on air in January/February.

SOUR GRAPE ALERT :

Okay, someone tell me what’s the point of having TWO female/female teams from Malaysia? I mean congrats and all for making it onto the show, but seriously? Are they out to make sure that no male/male team wins this year? I truly question the casting folks decisions. Regardless, I will probably end up rooting for them anyway (especially the dancing mom team). And HELLO?? Where are all the fatties? Don’t you know that FATTIES RULE ALL?? I swear to god, this is totally MACTOR CENTRAL (Model+Actor), and I can’t help but think that you have a killer bod or at least become a celebrity to get onto this show. I pray this is not the thing that will kill this show. Can you tell the casting is becoming more and more Americanized? What happened to casting real folks who are real fans of the show? Can you tell that I’m a bitter fatty cunt, right now? LOL And urgh.. just reading this from one of the articles make me sick :

“Monica is an actress who won the Miss Chinese International title in 1997, while event organiser Edwin has been nicknamed ‘Drama King’ by hisfriends. The pair are already calling themselves the ‘Rob and Amber’ of The Amazing Race Asia.

Edwin and Monica have declared the teams from the first season of The Amazing Race Asia to be boring, adding they’ll ‘bring heat and excitement to the viewers’ and make Season Two ‘a better show’.”

Urgh. We don’t need a fucking Asian Romber. And if this is any indication on how the rest of the teams are going to be.. well.. I’ll still watch the show, but they may rival the Big Brother 8 folks in terms of mediawhoreness. Playing it to the camera to instill forced drama <<<<<<<< SHIT STAINED UNDERWEAR.

That said, if any of you racers are reading this, chill out. I’m pretty sure I’ll say the same thing if I was on the show too, no, I’m pretty sure I’ll say worse things than that. So look out for the Amazing Race Asia 2 - coming to you in November on AXN-Asia!

So it’s the first day of Ramadan, the holy month in the Islamic calendar. I should probably try to cuss less.. but it’s painfully hard.. especially when I just bought a Briyani Kambing for RM6 that consists of a 3/4 filled container full of rice (no flavours at all), no side acars, and one tiny piece of lamb meat the size of a fucking tablespoon. It is so beyond pathetic it’s not even funny. I mean, I know people are doing this Pasar Ramadan business once a year, but the level of CEKIK DARAHness is beyond belief. Some more, kasi malu je kat brand Briyani Batu Pahat. And that little tiny thing was uncooked!!!!! I’ve lived there before okay, and this was a disgrace. P*#&% betul. I’m not gonna say which Pasar Ramadan this was from, but it’s definitely one I won’t be frequenting this year. Tempat orang kaya-kaya je ni.. aku ni kayap. And tengok… hilang pahala posa aku.. but that definitely needs to be said.

I keep telling myself over and over and over again, year in year out that I’m not gonna spend a lot when I go to Pasar Ramadans… but what can you do? The temptation is just too damn much! Breaking fast here in Malaysia is .. well.. uniquely Malaysian! The array of food.. the many many choices.. omg. I really hope Boo will do her regular rounds of Pasar Ramadan reviews this year. Hate to say it, but most of the time, I will end up spending more this month on food than I do on regular months. Kinda defeats the purpose of the holy month, huh? Alah… mengaku je la.. we are all guilty of that sometimes LOL. And don’t even get me started on Ramadan buffets (although thankfully, I’ve managed to mostly stay away from that last year). Okay okay.. self control. Gotcha.

Sometimes I wish I was back in the UK. Back then, I did break fast under moderation. Most of the times, it was just eating a date and some fruits during the lectures (we broke fast around 3-4 pm). Even when I wasn’t having a lecture that day, I never did remember breaking fast lavishly.. my favourites were just some plain grilled cheddar on toast, or even better yet, toasts with serunding daging from back home. I just could not be arsed to cook stuff up during the fasting month. I even remember waking up at 1 pm.. and I was like.. “whoopsies.. only 2 more hours till berbuka puasa” and hit the snooze button. LOL what a lazy cunt I was. (still am, btw)

But yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t eat as much back then. Malas ke.. takde appetite ke.. who knows. But my theory is the lack of variety of food that’s readily available for me to eat. Hmm.. maybe that’s why I’m 20 kilos heavier now that I’m back in Malaysia. Bastard! Well, you can’t win it all.

On another note, tomorrow will be my last day working in KLCC! No more joining the rat race for me! Woohoo! But I am a little sad about it though, cause it means no more popping down to the movies immediately after work to catch the latest C-grade horror movies at TGV (by the way.. you should all watch Train of the Dead, and Black Sheep.. both F-grade horror movies, but will come across as an A-grade comedy.. sadly, unintentionally), no more popping down to Kinokuniya whenever I’m bored and no more just hanging out at the many many coffee joints whenever I feel like it.

Goodbye KLCC! Farewell!

oh.. and I will miss most of my colleagues too. Toodles.

Possibly one of the more difficult things for me to do.. because I actually love MPH. Maked that loved. They ended their boycott by selling the HP books again to their customers a few days ago.. but again, I don’t give a flying rat’s as about the HP books.

From their latest press release :

“As a goodwill gesture, MPH, Times, Popular and Harris Bookstores said they would sell the book at a 25% discount for their members. Walk-in-customers will enjoy a 20% discount provided they make other purchases.

….

MPH Bookstores (M) Sdn Bhd chief executive officer Patricia Chen said they had resolved the issue with the publisher and would now like to meet the request of customers to sell the book. 

She said the decision to sell the book was also taken in view of the many readers who wrote to newspapers asking why the stores were not selling the novel.“

Mmmm.. yeah.. that’s like finally realizing that bears DO INDEED shit in the woods.

Their ‘boycott’ may be over, but mine certainly isn’t. You may get back your customers with the discounted price.. but this is ONE customer you’ll never get back again.. because (yes I’ve said this again and again.. but I’ll say it again).

YOU HAVE JUST PROVEN YOU HAVE ZERO CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CUSTOMERS.

YOU HAVE JUST PROVEN YOU HAVE ZERO FAITH IN YOUR CUSTOMERS.

YOU HAVE JUST PROVEN THAT YOU HAVE ZERO RESPECT FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS. 

YOU BASICALLY JUST TOLD YOUR CUSTOMERS TO FUCK OFF. 

So fuck off, MPH. I’m just one measly reader and I’m sure this probably won’t matter. So go do what the fuck you think is best for your other existing customers. Cause I’m done with you.
~ goes back into lurking/away mode ~

Let’s get one thing out of the way before I start off this rant. I am definitely NOT a Harry Potter fan. I have never (or ever will) read a Harry Potter book. Ever. Absolutely no fucking desire to do so. I will force myself to watch Titanic, before I’ll ever consider touching a Harry Potter book. I’ve seen the movies and enjoyed the books movies, but that. is. all. Personally I think adult HP fanatics are freaks, even moreso than Trekkies.. but to each his own. But the hype over this is too annoying. It is so overrated that I am sincerely hoping that Harry Potter dies in this final installment, to end it once and for all. But that’s probably wishful thinking on my part.

Anyway, I’m here because I am COMPELLED to rant over this stupid Harry Potter price war in Malaysia.

What in the holy of all fucks were MPH and the other 3 ‘major’ retail stores that nobody gives a shat, were thinking? They’re shelving off the Harry Potter books from their outlets just because Carrefour and Tesco are selling it at a lower price of RM69.90 ????

Worse case of mogok and sour grape in Malaysian history ever. You might as well close shop and post a sign on the outside that says “pegi la beli kat tempat lagi murah tu.. haa pegi la pegi la… dont come here”. Stupid pieces of shits.

First up, the two hypermarts didn’t just started selling books recently. They’ve been selling books as long as I can remember. Secondly, it’s not as if the 4 big kahunas didn’t know from months before that the hypermarts will be selling the HP books. Where was the furor then, eh? Dumbfucks?

The reason they gave was because it’s not fair.. they’re not proper bookstore.. they will taint the integrity of the business.. wah wah wah.. fucking blah shit blah look at poor me will suffer losses. What cunts.

Please lah.. biar la diorang nak jual murah ke.. bagi free ke.. ko kisah apa. Buat je la business cam biasa.. ni macam budak kecik.. nak boycott konon.

I don’t even understand the logic behind this move.. maybe because I’m ‘not in the book business’. Come fucking on lah. I may not be in the book business, but I am a consumer. But more importantly, I am.. or make that WAS… a really loyal MPH customer. I have worked for them (briefly) and have been a patron for the past 20 years. I don’t fucking care which bookshops sell the cheapest book. I almost ALWAYS go to MPH to find my books, regardless the price. And I believe I’m not the only loyal MPH customer to do that. And now they pull this shit.

Why am I getting all riled up about this? I dont even like Harry Potter right? I know. But what if I was? What if it was a new Stephen King, Alex Garland or Ben Elton book. How the fuck can they do this to their customers. They’ve been in business since before I was born.. but has the saying “customers always comes first” been replaced by “fuck the customer.. they can go to the other place” instead? It’s not even “fuck the customer.. let them choose where they want to go”, because they didn’t give the customers (other than the ones who have prebooked) the option of buying at their place.

Seriously.. stupid mega cunts. I know it’s probaby not going to matter to you, cause I am only ONE STUPID SINGLE ex-LOYAL customer of yours, but what you pulled has guaranteed me that I will never ever buy a single item from your shop again. Good luck shitheads.

I’m not rallying other people to go against them (not that I’ll even succeed if I try), but this is just my own personal feelings on it. I know I will never ever buy anything from them ever again. I’d rather order by stuff from Amazon which would be way cheaper (postage included), dumbasses. I wouldn’t even want any of my future publications to be associated with you fuckers. I’ve spent a lot at MPH, in the regions of four figures annual-fucking-ly for the past couple of years. I don’t see any reason why I should spend an additional single Malaysian cent (which is worth shit these days) at this bookstore ever again. Eat cock la.. MPH.
I don’t care who sells the books at whatever price. As long as I get the book from my favorite bookstore, even if it costed me more… I wouldn’t mind paying. As long as I have the books in my hand at the end of the day, I’m happy. I think I have only bought one single book from Carrefour as long as I can remember. Again, I’m not pro Tesco or Carrefour. I’m just a really REALLY pissed off MPH customer. And this is over a book that I actually HATE. Imagine if I was really looking forward towards the release of this book.

I guess it all boils down to greed. Loyalty means shit these days.The only thing that you have fucking proven by doing this, MPH, is that you have absolutely ZERO FAITH in your customers. Well done.
Hatefully yours,

A writer that is not afraid to rightfully bite the hands that fed him.

~back to Away mode~

First up, let me say.. The Transformers Movie? A+++ Hands down, it is by far the best movie I’ve seen this year. I’ve never had so much fun watching a movie at the theaters. Maybe it was partially due to the overwhelming audience participation (cheerings and clappings throughout the movie). I must say, that I’m not a huge Transformers fan (Visionaries > Mask > Voltron > Thundercats > Gummi Bears > Smurfs > Transformers > all other 80s cartoon), but I’m a HUGE FAN of this movie. Absofuckinglutely loved it from start to finish. (DISCLAIMER : but Batman Begins is still far more superior than this).

Okay, I’m writing this post cause I haven’t been exceptionally inspired to write anything, so I’ll be taking a short hiatus from blogging. I’m looking at a period between 1,2 or maybe 3 months, as I have an amazing side project planned - which if all goes as planned will come to fruition this November.

But before I go.. a couple of rants and FUCK YOUs going out to certain people :

1) FUCK YOU Mandy Moore for releasing the ultimate filth that is your so-called song EXTRAORDINARY. The only thing extraordinary about that song that I can think of, are the number of cheese crusted cocks you have to blow at your record company to have that record out. FUCK YOU. The ’song’ is not even remotely as annoying as Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles. The melody is something that only a pre pubescent kindergarten girl could come up with, your play with falsettos wins the whatthefuckareyoutryingtoprove award of the year, your lyrics are too fucking cheesy that the only other thing on Earth that is even more cheesier than that are Kiera Knightley’s freedom speech in Pirates 3, your voice sounded more frial than ever, and FUCK YOU for making Ashlee Simpson and other teenybopper cumguzzlingcunts on the radio far more superior than you.

2) FUCK YOU Mika or whateverfuckyourname is with your Relax Take it Easy icanonlysinginasqueakyvoice  song. Asshole.

3) FUCK YOU Shuhaimi Baba for Waris Jari Hantu. No I am still not over that.

4) FUCK YOU to gum chewers who can’t chew with their mouths closed. It’s one thing to see your gross chewing, it’s another when I can smell that ‘minty fresh’ smell when I’m standing at least 5 feet away from you. Inhaling those nasty chewing saliva atom/zarah/ion/whateverfuck all the way from your mouth into my respiratory system is something I could do without.

5) FUCK YOU if you’re one of those idiots who have to contemplate and hesitate for more than 3 seconds at the escalator, when there’s a steady stream of people coming behind you. How retarded are you to not know exactly when to step on the escalator? Mind fucking whore idiots.

6) FUCK YOU Platinum Sudoku for making me stay up well over an hour or two at nights trying to solve the puzzles.

7) FUCK YOU to all the kepohci about the whole Sharifah Amani botak stint for the new movie. So she’s bald.. so fucking what? And being botak is not exactly earth shattering. V for Vendetta, Gi Jane.. hello? It’s been done before. Get over it.

8) FUCK YOU to Isaiah Washington for calling the race card over the whole ‘faggot’ incident. Don’t get me wrong, I think TR Knight’s an ugly poof and can’t act either.. but this Washington asshole keeps digging himself into a hole, doesn’t he? Dumbass.

and finally..

9) FUCK YOU to all people who just can’t see the lighter side of things and keeps finding fault in others. In other words, I’m also telling myself to fuck off.

And with that, I shall.

No that is NOT cheese. It’s the signature Chocolate Durian dessert from Just Heavenly Cakes.  After weeks of reading about Nigel’s desserts and cakes from, I don’t know, the thousands of food blogs out there, I finally managed to try it out today, having the day off from work. We read quite a number of less than desirable reviews on the nearby Chef & Brew, so we were reluctant to eat there at first. But since Nigel’s cake shop was just opposite the restaurant, we soldiered on because we just HAD to have the cakes. Sure enough the desserts are top notch. I’m really looking forward to their new creations. Yum. Yum. Yum. As for the food at Chef & Brew, I don’t think it was that bad. It’s actually palatable. Okay la.. although the burger that I had pretty much compels me to make my own meatloaf again sometime this weekend. Anyway, don’t worry, I’m not going to turn into another flogger.. Don’t think I’m gong to write on food stuff much after my stint with Fine Restaurants & Villas magazine.

I’m here to write on two cheesy reality shows that’s currently on the air this summer. The first one, Hell’s Kitchen, stars the (in)famous British chef, Gordon Ramsay. Those who have seen his docu/reality cooking shows on Discovery Channel would know that he’s got a mouth on him. In terms of nasty commments, I’d rank Ramsay >>>  Cowell > Izad. Hell’s Kitchen is currently on it’s third season in the States and the first episode just aired last week. This is my first time watching this series, but I’m guessing it’s just one of those reality cooking shows like Top Chef (which I absolutely love and will start it’s 3rd season next week).

Hell’s Kitchen started off pretty innteresting, with Ramsay mouthing off to the contestants within the first minute of their meeting. They were all ordered to come up with their signature dishes pronto! - which led me to think that if I was ever in their position, what would MY signature dish be? I’d probably make my classic lasagna or a portobello burger - I can only imagine what Ramsay’s response would be if I were to serve him my true signature dish - Gulai Ayam Asam Pedas! Anyway, during Ramsay’s initial ‘judging’ one of the contestants almost fainted because she was a total nervous wreck, worrying what Ramsay would be. Can I just say WOW?

Oh and we have loads of drama on this show. And I thought Akademi Fantasia was bad! We have contestants crying the Yang Tze River on this show. And that guy in that picture? Wow. All Ramsay asked him was “Aaron, how are you feeling?”  and he fucking broke down and cried!! LMAO. He wasn’t even provoked or anything by Chef Ramsay. The fear totally got to that guy.. he totally wouldn’t last a minute in a boarding school I tell ya. You know it’s a good show when the host tells the contestant “Get a fucking grip!!”. LOL

Oh yeah there goes the waterworks again. And again, Chef Ramsay wasn’t even saying nasty things to him! LOL Oh dear lord help me get through this show. I fucking love it. Anyway, the show divides the teams into men and women, and each team had to work together in separate kitchens to prepare dishes for Hell’s Kitchen’s guests. One of the teams would be considered a loser, and the team supervisor nominates two team members for elimination - with Chef Ramsay finally sacking one of them. This aspect of the show is different from Top Chef - first off, the chefs weren’t judged on their cooking (this time) but rather how they handle themselves in the kitchen, and secondly there were nominations for the bootees.

The premise of the show itself seems a little weak for me, compared to Top Chef, but I will be watching it to see how far Aaron will go in this game, and also just to watch the fouled mouth Gordon Ramsay at work. Oooh and also, I think the top prize for Hell’s Kitchen is tenfolds better than Top Chef.

Another cheesy reality show that’s a must see is Mark Burnett’s new Pirate Master. I think it’s meant to be a summer replacement for Survivor, but the show is oh so fucking cheesy. It’s so bad that you just have to watch it for yourself. LOL.  The premise of this show is 16 ‘pirates’ (aka. Survivor applicants rejects) is on board a pirate ship. They are set to sail finding treasures all over (they are given new maps every week). Every gold buillion that they get during each week, they get to keep and use after the game. I’m still a little unclear on the actual rules of the game, cause I believe it is not fully revealed to the contestants and the viewers as of now.

The teams were divided into two, and the winning team gets the weekly treasure. They next had to choose a captain. After choosing the captain, the captain chooses two right hand man. It was only then revealed that the captain gets to keep half of the treasure -  but he can use it however he wants (keep it or distribute it or use it for bribery etc). The rest of the crew becomes his wenches. At the end of the episode, the captain nominates 3 crew members to be ‘cut adrift out at sea’ (LOL!) and the rest of his wenches votes on who they want to cut adrift. However, should every one of his wenches choose to vote the captain out (a mutiny) , then he will be ‘cut adrift’ and a new captain will be chosen. Confused? So am I.

The show looks promising. It’s a mix between NBC’s Treasure Hunters, Survivor and Big Brother all rolled into one. What makes this show so cheesy was the entire role playing. The mascara.. LOL the eye goop is just disturbing. And The lines are so rehearsed, you can’t help but laugh. Okay here’s an exchange between one of the nominees for the boot AND the captain during Pirate’s Court (aka Tribal Council) - transcript taken from realitytvworld’s recap :

“I have to say that for myself, I know why my ass is on the line, and it’s because I did not vote for Joe Don (the Captain) when the treasure was split up… When the rest of my crew said they wanted him to be the Captain.  That makes me dangerous and it says subversion and all sorts of things, and he’s been defensive about it the whole time,” explained John.  “Basically, I do think the Captain should go, and I have a very convincing argument for it.  These compasses are your only compasses.  They’re your only navigational aids.  I have them.  If I go, they go… Do you really want Louie to go?  Do you really want Joy to go?  Do you really want to lose the compasses?  Or, do you want to send-off the guy who took $20,000 and gave everybody else additional duties and zero dollars for doing that duty!?  Maybe consider the Captain should have been the one receiving the Black Spot.”

With John’s case clearly made, J.D. responded.  “At night, the Big Dipper points to the North Star,” he said, attempting to show off his navigational skills.  “You know where north is, you know where south is, you know where east and west are.  During the day, you put a stick in the mud, it casts a shadow.  Mark the end of that shadow, wait 30 minutes, it will cast another shadow.  Draw a line between the two, and you have east and west, and you know what north and south is.  I don’t need your compasses… And I don’t need you.”

It seemed that John (the nominee) stole the compasses so that the crew won’t vote him out. LOL as if the producers are going to let the crew go ahead without giving them new compasses. Anyway, after the Captain’s statement, John asked the Captain so which way points north. The captain looks up in the cloudy sky for an eternity and said “I don’t know” (cause the sky was cloudy that night). LOL. I know!

And for what it’s worth, this is John :

Scientist/Exotic Dancer.. OMFGROTFLMAO!! You can’t make that shit up!!!! LOL LOL LOLLLLgasm. Anyway, I’m definitely tuning in to watch this trainwreck of a show. At least until Top Chef and Big Brother starts for the summer.